“I never said that about Emo Dynasty!”
The Emo Dynasty was a ruling line famous for over the years adopting the philosophies of Hitler and Karl Marx into their system of government. Just before it's collapse their empire spaned countries such as the USA, England, Australia, South Africa and Canada but as their last King had stated in his last speech, they had hopes of converting the world to their system. Fortunately they collapsed before that could happen.
First Rise to Power
The Emo Dynasty first rose to power in the 1980's during the time the Goths society was being established. Originally the dynasty started as a group of men under the name Rites of Spring who decided to follow in the footsteps of Hitler (who was believed to be the predecessor of the dynasty) and have a go at being dictators. Renaming themselves the Emo Dynasty they did not last long in power and it wasn't long before their attempts at world domination were put at bay. Many were relieved after this first wave of Emoism was temporarily abolished but little did they know that the second wave was close at hand.
In the 2000's the Emo Dynasty rose to power yet again with King Billie Joe Neil Armstrong who started to introduce his own form of Marxism. Under King Armstrong's adaptation of the Communist movement his people were all considered as equals and dressed as such in black clothes and thick eyeliner. In an attempt to regulate overpopulation via birth control the mandation of tight pants as a means to sterilise males and keep the population at a manageable level was also introduced. Homosexuality was also promoted. Armstrong also utilised propaganda as part of his reign by promoting his views through music, media and Hot Topic. Bands such as Aiden, Hawthorne Heights and Greeley Estates were formed solely for this purpose. People like WiL Francis and Tre Cool were hired to assist in sending these messages.
The economy was weak under the first wave of Emo Dynasty rulers but grew strong in the second with the sales of Emo poetry and T-Shirts bearing the names of bands associated with the growing amount of emo propaganda on the market. The emo workforce was very dedicated to pouring emotion into their work which was one beneficial factor in their annual gross income, but seeing as they were all communists in the end they were only left with enough money to buy tickets to the latest gig and some eyeliner.
Great English Toilet Revolt
In July 2008, the actions of the last Emo Dynasty ruler, King Jack Skellington IV, including a commandment that the English shit on toilets with extra vigour, led to a revolt by the toilets of England. Some random historian has named this the Great English Toilet Revolt.
The events of Great English Toilet Revolt led to the death of King Jack Skellington IV after he was eaten by his own throne. After his death there was a succession struggle. All possible heirs to the throne attempted to eliminate all their rivals. Only one of Skellington IV's heirs survived – Prince Arthur Skellington XIX – but by the time he had heard the news that he was the last heir to the throne of the Emo Dynasty, he had already slit his wrists thinking he stood no chance. With his death the Emo Dynasty has ceased to exist. On hearing this news, 99.9% of all Emos committed suicide. The remaining 0.1% are currently in concentration camps being tortured by the Emu Union for the Eradication of Emos. Every now and then one or two manage to escape and go on to plot the re-establishment of emo dominance while complaining about how their fathers never liked them and just how much life sucks; but these escapees are usually caught in time to prevent such a cruel fate ever befalling the world again. Some random Emo was quoted as saying (quite incoherently) on his MySpace profile that: "emoism is real, and no theyre was 99.9 of us who fucking comited sucide you sick freaks, theyre are thousand of us, emoism will nevur die". He was promptly led to the nearest gas chamber. Unfortunately, Emoism will be around for quite a while longer; but the Emus are stepping up their Emo suppression campaign and the President of the Emu Union for the Eradication of Emos has declared that once the final solution to the Emo problem has been fully implemented, he expects to personally round-house kick the last Emo no later than 2015.
Ever since the rise of the Emo Dynasty there have been many leaders. These have included the following:
- Adolf Hitler
- The Rites of Spring
- Knight Jon Davis
- King Billie Joe Neil Armstrong
- Queen Bert McCraken
- King Will Francis
- King Sonny Moore
- King Max Green
- Emperor Oli Sykes
- Emperor Craig Mabbit
- President Ed Butcher
- Dictator Andy Sixx
- King Jack Skellington IV
The Emo Dynasty brought with it its own jargon pertaining to the movement. The terms were as follows:
Emo : Belonging to/part of the Emo Dynasty
Emoism : A political movement started by the Emo Dynasty. Emoism was basically communism with triple times the propaganda.
Emos : the common people.
Screamo : A type of music used by the Emo Dynasty as a means of brainwashing the masses.
1980 – 2008