Encrypted

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Encryption is a term to describe the placing of items and/or information into a stone chamber or vault. The chamber or vault, known as a crypt, is most frequently known as a respository for the remains of human beings. Those engaged in the placing of items and/or information into a crypt are known as cryptologists and sometimes colloquially as Necrophiliacs.

Crypts[edit]

The stone chamber that contains encrypted items typically contains the tombs of important persons such as royal families, rock stars, and recipients of the Uncyclopedian of the year award.

Given the importance of persons entombed in crypts, these chambers are typically looked after by God. This protection is achieved by placing crypts within churches. Traditionally, rich families have been able to afford their own protection using encryption built on less holy ground known as mausoleum.

Cryptologists[edit]

Those in command of the power to transfer information into a crypt, the cryptologists, play a significant part in preserving historical documentation such as the DNA of important figures including Jimbo Wales and Lenin. As such they have been described as the safekeepers of all human experience.

Until the 1970s, cryptography was largely the preserve of Governments who would use it as a means to ensure that only those who made sufficiently large donations would be encrypted. Since the 1970s, a more free market approach has developed with private industry now able to offer encryption at an affordable price. It has not yet been established whether private encryption affords the same protection by God that Government encryption does.

Electronic encryption[edit]

With the development of electronic information, encryption has expanded to include media delivered through electronic delivery systems. As electronic delivery systems are much smaller than people, the encryption market for this segment has exploded. It is now possible for any individual to request the encryption of their electronic information and for it to be kept in a stone chamber or vault.

Magical Electronic encryption[edit]

Same as the above, but with +1 magic. Used by HDMI connections as a form of DRM.

Necrophilia[edit]

A negative association that has been developed over the ages for those involved in encryption is that of necrophilia. Evidence of this can be found as early as the hieroglyphs of ancient Egypt at the site of Carnak. Encryption experts are perceived as black-clad ne'er-do-wells who rarely see the light of the sun. Combined with their association with human remains, encryption has remained a reviled occupation and to this day, cryptologists are rarely seen in pleasant company.

See Also[edit]