English Class

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English Class is the lowest level of hell. It was originally designed by Zeus as a punishment for the living who had great sinned and wished to repent. A misinterpretation of ancient Greek scrolls led to the English class we know today. While the class is exactly the same, its purpose was skewed. Apparently some translator somewhere messed and translated Hell as education.

Modern English Class[edit]

In English class students are forced to SUCK COCK that will educate them about being gay but are actually full of shit and mean nothing. Unfortunately the books are so GAY AND SHITTY they are impossible to understand, like gay ass shakespeare. The reason why these books are so GAY AND SHITTY to understand? Because people like gay ass fuck face shakespeare were high while writing them. To add to the torture of English class there are the SHIT FACE teachers who are programmed robots designed to have no emotion and to speak in Russian. Swihelians are known to be able to take an immense amount of pain and boredom, probably because of the fact that they were gaynazis and not understand what was being said in English class. It is unnecessary to say that Swihelians have the most dismal existence on the planet. It is said that taking English classes will cause you to have a smaller cock.

The modern English class is gay and boreing to teach victims better grammar. George Bush is a gaynazi advocate of teaching every student grammar so they will be able to communicate better. Most people now in the insane alylum confess to having faggy grammar during their childhood days. Grammar is often STUPID and unnessisary. Grammar is so boreing and gay it takes 5 full time government representatives to keep track of it. Although that may not sound like much they have the use of powerful machines called pencils.

Ways to avoid English class[edit]

You heard the man.
  • Pour napalm on the roof of the school
  • Have diarrhea in English class and escape to relative safety of the nurse's office
  • Talk over your english teacher in order to save yourself from insanity and becomeing very gay
  • If you speak Swahili you have no hope so you are already gay and might as well save yourself a lot of pain and *end it now.
  • Skip Class
  • Bring a boom box to class
  • Start a fight(good job)
  • Call in a bomb threat to your school using your free call with Skype Chat
  • Pour water on your teacher to make it short circuit
  • Streak around the classroom
  • Play Starcraft
  • Huff Kittens (this action is not approved by the Surgeon General)
  • Claim there is a wild mongoose in the hallway, OH SHIT A WILDMONGOOSE!!!!!!
  • Get everyone in class to repeat random phrases in Dutch
  • Bite your neighbor and have him pretend to be a zombie

See Also[edit]