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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Ephedrine.

“It's a lot like ecstacy... but even gayer, somehow.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Ephedrine

Ephedrine is commonly used drug among homosexuals, ADD patients, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. After ingested, the body quickly breaks Ephedrine down into Warcraft II peons who start attacking the heart with pickaxes to obtain gold, lumber and oil until there is none left.



In 1780, the famous scientist named Dr. Alfred von Efenherdrine was relaxing after a hard day of sticking wooden vials into horse anuses. Smoking a Jay and playing Warcraft II. When he was done he attempted to eject the CD from the his computer but it refused to come out. As a result, Efenherdrine whacked his CD Drive with a granite sledge hammer, the CD popped out of the drive and flew straight into his mouth and down his throat. 30 minutes later Efenherdrine felt very speedy and energized, he died 3 hours later from lack of heart. After his death, Efenherdrine decided to call his new drug Ephedrine, in loving memory of his daughter, Ephuckdrain. He began marketing his new found drug as a dietary supplement for those two lazy to get outside and exercise. Like Jesus, who at the time weighed over 560lbs. The drug never gained popularity during this time, possibly because Efenherdrine was dead. Joan of Ark, who had just found out that she heard the voices of Ghosts, and not God, agreed to present the drug to President Nixon of South America at the 1567 world fair. He thought it was a great new substance and decided to spread its use all across europe as a cough and cold medicine. This was also known as the Black Death.


Dosage for the average 180lb man is approximately 250mg. Dosage for the secret 180lb man is 275mg.


Effects are similar to those of amphetamine combined with Peter Frampton's cock. The one and only drawback from Ephedrine is death after first use. Some users get past this and continue to use, but it is reason enough for others to quit.


Ephedrine is one of the ingredients in Meth and also goes great in herbal Ecstasy.