Eric Dickerson
“I tried catching him, but he kept on escaping before the first roll!”
“Only I could catch him, and not that futile Pokémon trainer that quoted me above!”
“Really, Jack? I can outrun him any given day!”
Introduction[edit]
Eric Demetric Dickerson was supposedly born on September 2, 1960, somewhere in Texas. He was a subpar Pokémon trainer, but his NFL career was much better. As a running back, he ran for over 9,000 yards. Eric started his NFL career in Los Angeles with the Rams, and his first mentor was some coach named John Robinson in 1983. He tried winning the Rams a Super Bowl trip in 1985, but his team lost to Mike Ditka's Da Bears. After that, Dickerson tried catching Togepi to compensate his losses, but ended up losing the custody battle to *Misty Sanders.
Joining with the Dolts...err, Colts in mid-1987[edit]
After getting into a fight which was better: Paper or plastic with Rams head coach John Robinson, he wound up getting traded to the Indianapolis Colts for some guy. There, he tried winning a Super Bowl ring, but ended up coming up empty. The best year for the Colts was 1991, when they lost 15 out of 16 games. Pathetic, isn't it? He was joined with Jeff George and Jack Trudeau in his Indianapolis years.
His last years in the NFL: 1992-93[edit]
Other than his spectacular numbers with the Raiders in 1992, he stunk up Atlanta in 1993. Quite literally, he did. During 1993, he just retired. Just retired...but he tried going with the Green Bay Packers, but he retired, knowing he wasn't going to make it with the team. Especially when Edgar Bennett.
Career after: 1993-present[edit]
After retiring suddenly in 1993, he decided to pursue his Pokémon career again, this time being chased by May Leetch, and Dawn Dumars, two Pokémon trainers. He was rumored to be attending Rams games when they moved to St. Louis in 1995, but spent his time catching Pokémon instead. When they retired his number ((29)), he was loudly booed for not attending Rams games. He was rumored to be trapped in the world where Pokémon takes place, though he returned in 1997 with May in a kidnapping plot.
Controversy with May[edit]
During the 1997 World Series, Eric was going to attend Game 3 of the Pro League Baseball World Series, but murdered May Leetch in Cleveland, Ohio. Unfortunately, he was acquitted because he hired Johnnie Cochran as his attorney, who saved O.J. Simpson three years ago. Though, Eric cleaned up his image and no one cared.
Today[edit]
See: Nihilism to see where he went, because nobody knows.
* Not to be confused with Ricky, Barry or Deion Sanders.
See also[edit]
- Indianapolis Colts
- Peyton Manning - even though he had nothing to do with the article, but he's a Dolt--er, Colt, right?
- Pat "I lie on a" Beach
- Team Rocket
- NFL
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