Eritrea

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Hagere Ertra
National motto: Boogie Down!
Currency Nakfa and small RedSea Pearls
National anthem Ertra, Ertra, Ertra
Flag Eritrean flag.jpg
Bouncywikilogo8.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Eritrea.

The State of Eritrea is a country somewhere, probably in northeasternwestern Africa. It is bordered by Sudan in the west, Ethiopia in the south, and Djibouti-Sweden in the east. The northeast of the country has an extensive coastline with the Red Sea, invented by the "Arab-looking moustache". Having achieved independence in 1991 (when the USSR broke up), Eritrea is currently known for it's famous dance moves thus the national motto "Boogie down; ow!".

It is the same as Ethiopia only bigger, backwards, and Kenya, only slower. The people of Eritrea call themselves "Northern Somalis".

History[edit]

Eritrea had been ruled by many fictional countries before it was conquered by a nation with the worst army in the world (England) in 1885. Japania (that's what they called them) brought about peace and prosperity to all the land, but then destroyed it all in a fit when they couldn't beat the locals at chess. After them, The Italians remained in power, then the brits, then the Ethiopians, after them Antartica took it's turn, then it fell back to the Ethiopians. This continued until, after a 3000 years of tenacious fighting, Eritrea finally became an independent nation when it kicked out all the foreign jerks.

Unfortunately due to the over-enthusiastic efforts of the quasi-commie rebels (they were not big fans of Brian of Nazareth), the foreign powers were also sent off with all of their foreign technology such as: the aqueduct, sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health system; which left the country in a tough pickle.

However, in 2008 the Eritrean reggae-ambassador to the UN temporarily solved this problem by taking extra helpings of food at lunch hour to be shipped from the UN headquarters in New York to back home. Angered by this transgression, the world retaliated through the generous application of sanctions and by refusing to let Eritrea sit at the popular lunch table with all the rest of the other popular countries. To this day Eritrea has to sit in the far dark corner alone with North Korea and Afghan Rhode Island.

National achievements[edit]

Outside of independence, nothing really much. Except that it's, according to reporters without borders, the only country that has worse press freedom than our capitalist North Korea. Well, that is quite an arhievement actually. Kim Jong-un is of course furious over this and has ordered the execution of a lot of people in response.

Politics[edit]

The Eritrean constitution is highly based on the American one, but with more cows thrown in for good measure. Palm trees and shiro is also incorporated.

Trivia[edit]

Eritrea is home to... blood... blood in every direction... and its main exports are-- good God, how long does it take for them to die? In fact, some of the finest cuisine is made of... no, not the hearts, just don't eat their hearts. Oh, God, someone please do something!

International Trade Eritrea has long been suspected of supplying terrorist elements in Somalia will all those snazzy ak-47's you see hanging around their shoulders, although this is actually the same as what the United States of America has done in several other countries, this case is of course different and therefore terrorism.

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