Evil monkeys

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Approved by Kansas Board of Education
Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education
This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.


Evil Monkeys (A.K.A. The Artic Monkeys/Homo Bananais)

Evil monkeys (look at them - they're evil)

are small furry creatures (not to be confused with Ewoks. Ewoks ruined the last Star Wars movie and furthermore "gahhhhhh" (the writer has been stabbed due to an Ewok based accident and has been replaced by a younger and more attractive writer. This wiki will now continue as scheduled.))

Origin[edit]

The Evil Monkeys, and their rival tribe the Not-Quite-As-Evil-Monkeys a.k.a. The Gorillaz, came from the planet Earth (some people think that they came from this planet but it's pronounced differently). The two tribes were tired of fighting so they had a spoon off, but it was a draw so they decided to see who could conquer a planet first. The evil monkeys went to Earth (this Earth) and the not quite as evil monkeys went to the mystical land of Germany "ahhhhh"(the first writer has suvived the stabbing and shot the new writer in the head).

EWOKS[edit]

The Ewoks have been proven to have caused all problems in life such as"ughhh"(now this is were things get confusing. The second writer survived the gunshot and has started a fist fight with the current/first writer and a third writer (who is so good looking that everyone and everything finds him attractive)has killed them both with a katana) "I AM SEXY," says he.

The Plan[edit]

these do not contain c.o.l.a.

The Evil Monkeys' plan is to get us hooked on a highly addictive chemical called Colatteral Overdose Lime Adittive or C.O.L.A. for short(many people think that C.O.L.A. is found in cola products but thats what the evil monkeys want us to think it is infact in everything but cola products).

Once were all hooked on C.O.L.A. the Evil Monkeys will only give us c.o.l.a. if we work in their banana mines, So they will have conquered Earth (our Earth)and they will have beaten the not quite as evil monkeys "brains"(for no reason the first 2 writers have turned into zombies and while the third writer is distracted a fourth writer kills them all with a grenade surprisingly leaving the computer unharmed)

Our Defence[edit]

Me and a group of hobos hooked on cocaine are working on a weapon to defend the Earth (our Earth). This will make a worse problem which will be covered in evil monkeys with over powered death rays