FIFA 09: Glory Hunter Edition

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FIFA 09: Glory Hunter Edition
Fifa09gloryhunteredition.jpg
FIFA 09: Glory Hunter Edition cover art, featuring Roman Abramovich and Peter Kenyon
Developer Chelsea
Publisher Electronic Arts
Designer Peter Kenyon
Genre Communist Propaganda

“"Daddy, I played as Chelsea and beat Man U 36-0, and Shevchenko scored 6 goals!!!"”

~ 7 year old Glory Hunter enjoying the game

“"I turned on manager mode and put in my name, and it caused the red ring of death! That cunt Roman owes me an Xbox!"”

~ Jose Mourinho tries to play Manager Mode


FIFA 09: Glory Hunter Edition is an alternate version of the game FIFA 09 by Electronic Arts. The game was commissioned by Roman Abramovich, after concern was expressed by the club's fans that player ratings in FIFA 09 were not biased enough towards Chel$ki. Due to this, Abramovich payed off EA to make an alternate version of the game, in which all Chelsea player had a rating of 99; except John Terry, who has a rating of 397 with a penalty taking ability of 500. FIFA 09: Glory Hunter Edition can only be bought at the Chel$ki Megastore and on the Russian Black Market.

There are different covers for the regional versions of FIFA 09: Glory Hunter Edition. All covers feature Roman Abramovich, accompanied by a different person for each region: North America version features Peter Kenyon dressed up in a stars and stripes bikini, the Australian cover features Mark Bosnich eating pork pies and snorting cocaine, the German cover features Michael Ballack performing fellatio on Stamford the Lion, Portuguese cover features Deco in an inflatable pool of money, and the Russian cover features a bottle of Polonium 210.

As of August 17, 2009, EA has announced that there will be a 2010 version of Glory Hunter Edition.


Gameplay[edit]

This game is a pile of biased shit. If it's not bad enough that all commentary has been replaced by those biased Chelsea TV cunts, it is impossible to lose with Chelsea. All other players in the game have been given a ranking of 1. FIFA 09: Glory Hunter Edition is a perfectly balanced and realistic game.


Additional user-controlled celebration[edit]

A feature where the player controls goal celebrations is also featured. Having been included in the original FIFA 09, Glory Hunter Edition includes all new celebrations including:

- Running off to the food stand for a pie (Frank Lampard only)

- Bursting out in tears (John Terry only)

- Yelling "It's a disgrace, a disgrace! It's a fucking disgrace!" (Didier Drogba only)

- Running into the stands to oil up Peter Kenyon's head

- Acting like a pretentious cunt, whilst yelling "GET IN THERRRREEEE!!!"

- Kissing the badge

- Handing in a transfer request

- Asking for more money

- Surrounding the referee to get an opposition player sent off

- Taking a dump in the stands

- Goalscorer gives the opposition keeper a reacharound

Teams[edit]

There are only 4 teams in FIFA 09: Glory Hunter Edition. These are Chelski, Manchester United, Barcelona and Real Madrid.

Additionally there 2 mini games that can be played in the game: Chuck Shit at Rafa Benitez, and "Lets Save A Penalty" featuring Petr Cech.

See Also[edit]

Chel$ki Abramograd F.C.
Football manager