“At least Tamia can read them”
:Personal Note: The writter of this article would like to know just what the fuck do you, Uncyclopedia Owners, need in order for this article to be a "pretty one". It has quotes, it has paragraphs, it has internal links, it has headers, it has paragraphs, it has pictures..... What more do you want? A Fucking parade??
A Fake Book (From the expression Fawk Hook) is a prototype publication that features "fake" information. It was first conceived as a way to make "fake" money. Soon after, the people who believed they'd get a profit from this, realized they were indeed phonies when it came to fooling innocent civilians.
A fake book is constructed following a series of prerequisites:
- It has a brief Glossary (Pronounced Glow-vhei-ghe-ah-reeeah-baef)
- An introduction by either the author or an attorney
- An index no longer than 3 chapters
- A margin of 2.5 points between the first two lines and a degree of 2 milimeters of separation between paragraphs after the 23...24th paragraph. No, 22nd.
- 24rth and that's final, I promise
- A parallel section with References and some weird stuff
- A nice cover with sample perfume
Fake Books were created by an ex-stock-quote-gambler by the name of Bill Evans. During his teenage years, Bill (Also called Moe) would spend endless hours trying to figure out the perfect equation that would lead to eternal cheating on naive people. Finally it came to his head one night when he was reading a book called "Little women" and he thought "Oh my gosh, her boobs are like soooo fake". He stopped right there and realized that fakeness is the secret to success in the black market.
He then consulted his good ol' friend Jamey Aebersold, who is today the second richest scam artist right next to Oprah and Ron Jeremy. Mr Aebersold (Though he likes being called Jamey) gave Bill some suggestions on how to make people desire the fakeness in his books. Today Bill regonizes his debt to mr Aebersold and thus sent him a fake check via mail to his house. What he didn't know was that Jamey was ready for that surprise and the check actually arrived to a fake house (See also "Sunny Day Real Estate").
In the 60s (Or maybe it was the 50s. I don't know, man. Do some research yourself for a change) the Fake Book Industry went through a decline that almost sent it to the depths of fuckin' hell. There was a huge controversy about the fakeness of such books and a lot of people complained and some even went as far as telling the FBI about the whole thing. Thus, in the following decade, the Aebersold company released a new publication of "The Real Fake Books". Unfortunately, people were quicker than expected to realize that these books were also fake. Therefore, "The NEW Real Fake Books" were released only two months after that. This one lasted a little bit, but eventually the trap was revealed once again. And so, "The Real NEW Real Fake Books. These ones are REAL for sure, I promise" were released in the summer of next year; and everyone was happy. There is, however, some controversy regarding the fact that maybe the real reason people were happy was because this one came with cool picz of the jazz artis.... eeer... of the writters.
After the Decline, the Fake Book industry decided to release the new Play Along series. These were books that came with a fake cd that you could play while reading the book. The idea proved to be really stupid and ironically, that is the reason while it is the highest paid idea in the market. People like stupid ideas, that's all there is.
Recently (Just yesterday, to be more accurate) a new series of Fake Booklets have been released. The series spam a variety of house appliences such as Tvs, fridges, computers, telephones... anything you can think of. The Fake Booklets include fake instructions regarding the operation of these appliances. The Aebersold company also released the Fake Stamps, which can be purchased at a store near you.
- Fake Bookings
- Fake Boo
- Fake you, motherfaker
- False Magazines
- Untrue catalogs
- Liar notebook
- The Bible