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About fdsasdf[edit]

A photograph of the offending area on a QWERTY infected keyboard.

Fdsasdf is the sequence of letters that occours by placing the fingers of your left hand starting with your pinky finger on the A key (found on the 4th row of any QWERTY infected keyboard) and your index finger on the F key, then drumming ones fingers in an arpeggio like motion from your index finger to your pinky and back again.

fdsasdf can occasionaly be seen as the result of a bored person drumming their fingers across a keyboard and inadvertently pressing the enter key out of habit while in an IRC chat room.

fdsasdf can also occur during the making of a spam email by a person who has no life.

It can also be said outloud as "Eff-dusas-dff" for the purpose of bewildering and confusing total strangers for your own twisted amusment. But this will make you look rather stupid.

The same steps on a Dvorak keyboard will produce the the letters "Ueoaoeu" which is far funnier to say out aloud as it sounds like "Uuee-oaoh-eue" and is entirely made up of vowels.

Early Development[edit]

In 1956, Bill Gates gave birth to the very first keyboard. The process was slow and painful, and after 18 hours in labor, Mike Tyson was hired to ruthlessly gently remove the infant.

The keyboard (named Apple Sauce Gates), seemed to live its life just like any other child. It learned how to walk, do simple algebra, and talk like everyone else (its first letter that it learned was A However, being only 18 months old, it was kidnapped by Michael Jackson. There it was forced into slave labor, where it was touched and its keys were "stroked" repeatedly during its job. Cloning began at the age of 4, and enough was created to fit the One Keyboard For Every Paedophilic Parent (OKFEPP)Act, which was pushed into Congress by Mister Rogers. Soon every paedophilic parent worldwide owned a keyboard that they could touch and type using "strokes" to their heart's content.

The Fdsasdf Wars[edit]

Since the beginning, Fdsasdf was the top dog. It allowed users to keep their left hand moving while their right hand did other things such as:

  • Moving the mouse
  • Tapping your fingers on the desk
  • "Doing things" while you watch pr0n on your computer (you normal person pervert)
  • Huffing your choice of drug
  • Jamming glue bottle nozzles into your nose
  • Petting your "pussy " or "hot dog"

These above reasons made the Fdsasdf's jealous neighbor, Jkl;lkj, lonely and relatively unused. Jkl;lkj decided that wanted to be touched and stroked as much, if not more, than Fdsasdf. The Jkl;lkj started a rebellion, and in 2006, a deadly, suicidal, and vicious war broke out.

The war lasted only a day, mainly because Jkl;lkj had no way to communicate to its troops. Saying "Jkl;lkj" was an impossible feat, and many Jkl;lkj soldiers were left baffled. Jkl;lkj ordered his right flank, led by Uio, to strengthen the forward offensive, but Uio had no way to relay the message to Yhn, as Jkl;lkj couldn't endorse this order without pronouncing his name. Messages to the rear defense, led by ['/, and left flank, commanded by Nm, failed as well.

Documents were recovered from the Fdsasdf battle journal that described the closing remarks

      T sees tat te war as csted great strfe acrss te wrd ad we are gad tat et as eded

Fdsasdf in the wild[edit]

At time of writing, a google search for "fdsasdf" returns 3,510 results. Most of the results consist of user profiles - example (See full results - here.)

Searching youtube for "Fdsasdf" reveals that there are many people who either habitually drum their fingers, are very bored or unimaginitive in chosing titles for their videos.

Extensions to fdsasdf[edit]

It is quite common to also find extensions to fdsasdf such as "adsfasdfa...sdfasd" "asfdsfa...fsasfad" and " dsfasd...fdsasdf" (reference) which are produced in the same way as "Fdsasdf" but instead of drumming ones fingers an an arpeggio like motion, one simply presses the keys the fingers are sat on in a random and disordered fashion.

The mathematics of fdsasdf[edit]

To calculate the total number of fdsasdf combinations for any given number of key presses, one simply takes the formula where n is the number of presses made, and k is the number of keys used. For example, pressing 8 times using 4 keys procuces a total of 4088 possible fdsasdf's