Feeder

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Template:Rewrite/Medium


Feeder (also known as Frida in Germany after the German transvestite who founded them) are a little known folk band from somewhere in Wales. The lead singer, Grant 'Son of a Sheep' Nicholas and original drummer Jet Lee befriended a Japanese guy, former professional wrestler, Taka Michinoku. From there, Feeder was born. They are most famous for appearing at every festival ever, including ones to which they weren't invited or that didn't even exist. Since 1997 Portoaloos have contained the warning that "If a portaloo is ever stored in a back garden, it can attract rats and Feeder."

Feeder are popular in Japan as it is well known that the Japenese people have no ears, see Paul Gilbert

Feeder have made several albums, all under the Netto record label, and released many successful singles, including the phenomonally successful 'Justin Days' - A tribute to Justin Timberland, a white rapper who makes rigger boots and other high quality footwear.

In 2002 Drummer Jet Lee tragically committed suicide at Beachy Head, England. He was replaced by former Skunk Anansie, Slayer and Spice Girls drummer Mark Richardson for the 'Comfort In Sound' album. Mark won a full place in the band after winning a raffle competition in his local Netto.

The German Influence[edit]

The German transvestite, Frida, took an intrest in the band after s/he heard them playing down at his/her local Netto. S/he put all his/her shopping money into the band, which meant Feeder had enough to buy half an amplifier. The rest they took from the charity box. This is where the inspiration for the song 'tangerine' came from, because all they found in the damn box was half an orange, causing Grant to remark that "life isnt just about fruit!"

Under management of Frida, Feeder played their very first gig outside the same Netto Store. Instantly the store manager rushed out and signed them up onto his label, Netto Records, on a 6 album deal. The young and enthusiastic frontman jumped at the chance without even reading the contract, a big mistake as the contract tied them in with no possible get out clause, made even worse by transvestite manager Frida as he included a clause that meant he would take 100% of all royalties and that Feeder would have to change their name to Frida.

Subsequently a legal battle was launched by the band, which eventually scared Netto and Frida to settle out of court, as the band had made the shocking discovery that the Netto chain was actually Danish and that Frida was not a transvestite, but really just a Very girly looking man. The settlement meant that Feeder would be able to retain their name, only to be called Frida in Germany. Also, the band regained control of all their royalties and was allowed to break their contract, but decided against the latter in a mark of respect at the decision to settle out of court.

Albums[edit]

Polythene Bag[edit]

Feeder's first full album 'Polythene Bag' included the hit song 'High' . A Song about feeling low, which for some reason almost got banned after it was discovered to promote drug use. Another notable song is track 10 - 'Changingman' which has been likened to a similarly named song by Paul Weller.

Track 11 on the album 'Tangerine' was a huge fan favourite when played live. Fans would often throw Tangerines on stage in appreciation of the track. However this practice ceased after the closing gig of the 'Polythene Bag Tour' in Nottingham. When several over enthustiastic fans gathered as many orangey objects as possible, including a few young ladies from outside the towns tanning salons. One of the women crashed into Bassist Taka Michinoku which he succesfully countered into a Michinoku Driver. Unfortunately, session guitarist Dean Tidy-Up was only WCW standard and damaged his neck when a second young lady landed head first into him.

Dean left the band shortly after this gig, fleeing in embarrasment, never to be seen. Although several people claim to save spotted Tidy-Up in the Clifton area near Bristol, reportedly wearing an orange t-shirt with the slogan "I've been Tangoed", and also holding hands with long time friend and partner Richey Edwards.

Yesterday Went Tomorrow[edit]

"Gotta hole in my head and its making me sad gotta hole in my head and the world keeps looking in" - the words from his hit song, Hole in my head. It appears Grant became a bit obsessed with operations at this time, and considered dropping music for a career in surgery.

Track 5 on the album - 'Waiting for changingman' confused many Feeder fans. One of which was quoted on a messageboard, upon release of the album, saying "WTF is Grant thinking? Lolz! Changingman was on the last album. How can he possibly expect for us to wait for something that's already been released! what a P33N!"

However it seems Grant had the last laugh as Paul Weller, having heard of the upcoming song (and also blissfully unaware of the track stolen from him used on the 'Polythene Bag' album) was quoted in the NME as saying "I'm also waiting for changingman, and when it comes, I'll be there with my Lawyers"

Grant responded with "If he wants trouble, I'll meet him Down at the tube station at midnight. to me, that's entertainment"

Echo 'the dolphin' Park[edit]

Echo Park contains the hit songs 'F**k Roger' and '7 days in the sun' , the latter being a song about someone with a complusive disorder towards sunbeds. This album is widely recognized to be their best.

The track which is of most interest to Feeder fans is the opening song 'Standing On The Edge' which was written when Grant was literally standing on the edge of the cliffs at Beachy Head, after travelling to the future to hear his album 'Pushing The Sensei.' It was only quick thinking by Taka Michinoku who rolled Grant up in a quick school boy pin away from the edge, which saved the frontman.

After a time-out following the experience, Grant was finally fit to face the public again. Being interviewed by London Radio station XFM he admitted "I was in a bad state, the album was so depressingly poor, and the fans seemed like they was turning against me. Also, back in the present, the Court Case with Paul Weller was looming, I had to go. Luckily, Taka was there to save the day, and thanks to him, Feeder will continue to produce quality music."

Despite this Feeder still went on to release the 'Pushing The Sensei' album.

Comfort in Sound[edit]

Some say this album was a tribute to the drummer, Jet Lee, who killed himself. Possibly because he travelled to the future like Grant Nicholas, but this time, there was no Taka...

Pushing The Sensei[edit]

The latest full studio album, commonly mistaken as the Jet Lee tribute album, it was actually written about Grant's experience with Karate lessons from when he was a young boy. Grant got so fed up with Karate he pushed the sensei over, who subsequently kicked him in the face. A lot of doctors have attributed the fact that Grant's face never seems to age to this specific incident.

The opening song on the album, 'Feeling A Moment' , doesn't in fact refer to an orgasm, as most people presume.

Other Releases[edit]

Picture Of Perfect Youth[edit]

After the release of the 'Comfort In Sound' album, Grant started taking to art. Creating his 'Picture Of Perfect Youth' which amazingly was also a CD comprising of Feeders best B-Sides.

Justin Days[edit]

Feeders Greatest success has probably come from a song which wasn't even good enough to get on an album, which just shows how moronic Feeder fans can be. 'Justin Days' is widely recognised to be the bands greatest song ever, and ever since it's release has been the closing song of every Feeder live show in history.

Shatter[edit]

Not content with the 'Justin Days' success, the fans petitioned in massive numbers in order to get another song released as a single. A poll on a message board insisted that the song they would petition for would be 'Shatter' a song used in a really poor Russian Language film called 'Nightwatch.'

The poll came as a big suprise for Paul Weller, who himself voted for 'Changingman' 692 times. 'Changingman' came 4th in the poll, with 692 votes.