Fire Truck

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Firetruck?

A Fire Truck is a floating bubble that feeds fire to the people. Without their supply of fire, the people will starve, and (god forbid) burn the village down in an angry mob. It was named in honour of the feline the firetruck due to its speed and all-around sex appeal.

History of the Fire Truck[edit]

Fire was invented by George Bush-Washington to capture hungry natives. When his rival cousin Al Zaccharius Gore-Goyle III invented the water-bomb to try to defeat Bush-Washington in the upcoming election, the people lost their fire. No more beefy-grilled steak for the hungry yokels. Thus, B.W.'s closest advisor, Quail-Diggin' Cheney, came up with the idea of the Fire Truck.

Over the years, the fire truck evolved to fit the times. Such as the retro-truck in the 60's, that delivered love-flames. Not only did these love flames let the housewife cook, but they also made her really, really happy. It was this happiness that made the handsome firefighters a popular male figure in society today. (Those who say that it was because of 9/11, well, you're wrong. Only in the 60s did fire make people happy).

In the revolutionary 80s, fire trucks lost their popularity. This came after the police brigade saved innocent pothead teenagers from their favoured passtime, then returned them to their parents unharmed. Firemen retaliated with the sizzling boy & girl bands of the 90s, and the ability to be recruiting agencies for terrorists en-masse. Today, more firemen are being married than police. And their flamming love-buggy of choice? You guessed it.


With the price of oil soaring, the American Government has kept the best known secret in the history of mankind. Firehydrants fuel fire trucks. The bubble in the truck, coated with oil, must always be fueled up for the truck to float along the streets. And the siren eats up more oil than an SUV. At each stop, the Fire Truck takes a free, unlimited supply of oil from the Firehydrant so that the bubble can be refilled, and so the firemen can grease their hair to remain fresh for the ladies.


Even though Fire Trucks have gained popularity around the world, the internet has caused fire to become a thing of the past. Today, global warming has replaced the fire truck. Human-rights activists, tree-hugging people who love burning forests before adopting the orphaned bears, have deemed global warming bad and a threat to society.

Without their Fire Trucks, firemen worry that they will have trouble finding a date. They now use Internet dating to try and compensate, but it's just not the same. The U.S. government hopes that the war in Iraq will increase demands for fire, as the war on Terrorism has done to demands for firearms.

Weapon that can gun through a fire truck's tires[edit]

It is known that only some types of weapon are able to gun through a fire truck's tire. The list includes weapons such has a 303, a crossbow, a spartan, Barrack Obama or ultimate Jesus. Gossips and myths tells that a certain type of African inter-continental balistic missile might have enough firepower to break the tire, but it's yet to be proven by modern medicine.