Firesign Theatre

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

The Firesign Theatre was founded in 1543 on the island of Manhattan to entertain new settlers of the continent of South Canada. The name originates from the large welcome sign that was continuously vandalized by natives who set it on fire as their means of critical commentary.


During its long run of theatrical performances, the theatre hosted such hits as Beach Blanket Infected With Smallpox Bingo, Howl of the Wolf, Temporarily Humboldt County, and was the origins of the devastating theatre virus known as Cats. It is rumored that the first performance of The Rocky Horror Show was played in their lower intestines. Many famous artisans and carpenters, such as Ricky Ricardo, new to the continent got their start rebuilding the theatre sign after each night's protests.

Oscar Wilde once ceremoniously lit the sign for an evening's performance, but this has not been confirmed, denied or even mentioned to anyone who might know better, except Oscar's sweet bozo pals.


A self-sustaining society, the descendants of the original theatre performers have created art, books, radio shows, and television, notable for their usage of references to Beatles lyrics and technologies that would not exist for several hundred years.


The performers at the Firesign Theatre depend on donations of food and misplaced children and pets to survive. Their sets are composed of discarded props from the 500 year run of The Producers, and theatregoers are advised to keep track of their entrenching tools at all times.


The theatre is the stuff of legend, with performances of such complexity that re-visiting the show is almost a requirement, as many of their parables and jokes are lost on the audience the first time around. Consumption of mind-altering drugs might help, but merely adding more sugar to the Groat clusters available in the lobby has been shown to assist in interpretation. One problem of the theatre is it has no electricity, the owners intend to change this but are still waiting for an electrician or someone like him.


Despite the generations of performers who reside in the theatre, few methods of cooking, preparing food, or collecting of harvests have been proven to exist. It is assumed that the residents survive by collecting lint and other detritus left by the audience and consuming it uncooked. However, corn has been shown to be used by performers to produce tortillas, whiskey, and aluminum television antennae. More science is needed to verify these theories.


Much has been made of the theatre's usage of shoes, for industry. Others have shunned the usage of shoes and insist on vocations involving climbing up trees and learning to play the flute.


Officially sanctioned license plate holders for Theatre fans were handcrafted by Grecian Dwarfs, although there were reports of The Little People being crushed when using pliers.