Forum:RANT - all rants go here

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Note: This topic has been unedited for 5095 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.

i've been fukin editing a fukin template since fukin afternoon and i'm fukin still not done. i'm postponing it for fukin tomorrow now (or maybe the day after). this is what my fukin affair with uncyclopedia finally leads to - i've become a fukin code-coolie for the fukin whore. for a fukin indian, i'd have thought not being a code coolie was a privilege (were not one starving), but is this what courtship always leads to? this fukin sucks. what happened to fukin romance? where is fukin art. what happened to creativity. what became of beauty???????? where is fukin wild passionate sex??????? -- mowgli 17:41, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

I'm not mad about anything. It feels kind of odd. There's this warm feeling in my belly, like I just ate a big bowl of porridge. Weird. That was't a very good rant, was it?--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:52, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

what are you fukin trying to say? -- mowgli 18:21, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
I dunno. I'm not in a ranting mood, I guess. Give me time, I'll come up with something...nope.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 18:25, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
take your time. i have a definition for uncyclopedia in the meantime: noun. a place for those who can't wrap themselves up.
don't ask me for sense or meaning of the above. let me go edit wiktionary in the meantime. -- mowgli 18:39, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
(Okay, I'll try harder to do this "rant" thing). Cottage cheese! C'mon. WTF is cottage cheese? It makes me not want a cabin, knowing that in all probability, it contains that foul and lumpy dairy by-product! Cottage cheese, which by its very name demeans the great name of cheese. I am outraged! (How's that? Am I getting closer?)--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:05, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

All I'm asking is for everyone on Earth to agree with me politically, religiously, and morally. Is that too much to ask?--<<http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f1/Bradmonogram.png>> 19:18, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Wow! Concise and coherent, filled with grammar and punctuation. Even I can see that that's a poor excuse for a rant.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:23, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
You want real ranting and want everyone on Earth to agree with you pollitically religiously, and morally, you might want to join the IWETHEY forum and rant away there. --2nd_Lt Orion Blastar (talk) 23:42, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
I tried! None of them understood me, EITHER! It turned out we disagreed, and they said I was crazy (can you believe it!?! ME?!?!?! CRAZY!!??!?!11?!??) And so, in conclusion, I'm going on a Quixotic quest to prove to the world that I'm right and EVERYONE else is wrong. I like my chances...--<<http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f1/Bradmonogram.png>> 16:32, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
Well if you figure out how to get everyone else to admit that you are right and everyone else is wrong, please let me know how you did it. I can only reach such levels of success through Ninjitsu violence. --2nd_Lt Orion Blastar (talk) 00:48, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
Sorry... I'm not too esperienced with whining... I'll do better next time.--<<http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/f/f1/Bradmonogram.png>> 20:39, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
Me neither. Compared to us, that Mogli has got it down.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:42, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

I am sick and fucking tired of hearing all this pusilanimious bullshit you call ranting! If I hear one more fucking rant, I swear to God, I will destroy the internet. I'll fucking do it. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Get a fucking grip! None wants to read you're god-damned rants! Have a nice day. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 22:03, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

All of you just shut your fucking mouths! It's people like you that cause all the war and disease and famine in the world! What the fuck, every fucking time I log in, it feels like i've just walked into a drunken bar fight between 18,000+ preschoolers, what with your constant whining and bitching and throwing your toys everywhere--ENeGMA, pick up your goddamn Legos!--I've had it up to here! <puts hand to crown of head> Oh, and wtf do you consider "funny" around here?? Ouroboros was fucking hilarious, and none of you know shit about humour! That's another thing, why you goddamn Brits have to spell tuff with extra letters, like flavour and programme, wtf?! You're assholes, all of you. Shut your goddamn pieholes, stop your bithcing, and get laid, maybe that'll shut you up for a while. This is a fucking joke, you guys are pathetic! --Señor DiZtheGreat Honor me! CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 23:35, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

I agree. People who love to rant need to just shut up for a change. It annoys you all the time when people complain, and I just wish that people who can't find something better to do would stop ranting. It would make me very happy. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 01:29, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
Just shut the fuck up & let me do the thinking for you, you capitalist scum. Premier Tom Mayfair 08:55, 8 October 2006 (UTC)
I too agree, about the extra letters. Although I, personally, just use them to make me appear real classy-like, especially with already too foreign words like tonne (and having it weigh 2200 pounds just to f*ck with Americans). Madness! Not that I'd rant about such a trivial matter. That would be silly.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:21, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
Yeah them Brits think that they invented the English language or something, don't they? I'll have you know that our beloved President George W. Bush knows the truth that English was invented in the USA and Dubya speaks the proper pronunciations of English words, and the rest of you are just Morans who cannot pronounce or spell the English words properly. In the UK it is the Queen's English, in the USA it is Dubya's English. Don't Be Stupid everybody knows that. Ouroboros was one of the funniest articles on Uncyclopedia only if you discount the collective works of Benson who is better than the rest of us. --2nd_Lt Orion Blastar (talk) 03:14, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
The 'nuk-u-ler' salad dressing please? Could someone pass that before my brain salad surgery and North Korea begin giving me a headache again? (plz) -MrEd 04:31, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
Awwww, got a headache? HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! Repeat as often as you like. --2nd_Lt Orion Blastar (talk) 17:27, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

Byaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! --Señor DiZtheGreat Honor me! CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 15:46, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

UNCYCLOPEDIA IS THE WORST HATE HATE HAT!!!!!!!!1111 UNCCYCLOPEDIA IS A LOAD OF POOPY! ~ Ghelæ talkcontribs 16:20, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

I stole Ghelæ's sig! Now he's angry at me! WTF is up with that!?! I mean, doesn't everybody want to steal Ghelæ's sig!?! Why is he mad at me for doing it when Vosnul did the same thing!?! WTF WTF WTF!?! --General Insineratehymn 17:30, 30 September 2006 (UTC)



I hate that I have to breathe every single fucking day of my hopeless existence. I mean it's really annoying, you know? Breathing. Fuck it. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!Mrthejazz 17:22, 1 October 2006 (UTC)



I'm too lazy to type out a fresh rant right now, but here'a a collection of old, Classic RantsTM over at some Miniluv topics.

I think obvious bans, such as vandals and such shouldn't require much paperwork to perform. But, for situations that are more of a gray area, there ought to be some sort of check/balance on an admin's impulse to ban everything that moves. If it isn't a clear vandal, maybe warn them. In the case of things like Benson, the Tompkins de-op, and reverting an admin's revert of many edits on an article you wrote (yes, I got banned for that. Famine basically screwed up the page, I reverted, he reverted back, I reverted again, putting details in the edit summary, unexpected ban), bans shouldn't be made so quickly. I understand a full-on voting process is too time-consuming, but at the least things could be brought up at the ol' cabal, and let some other admins and users give some input as to whether something is a banworthy offense. This way, admins can keep each other from getting out of hand. Also, one importand thing I'd like to bring up is that on Wikipedia, banned users can still edit their own talk page. They can stick a template up disputing the ban, and things will be looked at. Here, you have no voice at all to tell your side of the story until you are unbanned. --Nintendorulez | talk 19:43, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
Yes, that's another thing. A calm discussion over disputes could easily be done rather than banning those who disagree. I've been banned for things I had no clue would be banworthy, such as trying to remove one of two contradicting templates. Did anyone simply warn me first, and tell me not to do it again? No. Just a 30-day ban out of nowhere. --Nintendorulez | talk 19:03, 14 June 2006 (UTC)
The bureaucrats don't seem to be doing anything about itchy trigger fingers on the "ban" button, corruption, etc. --Nintendorulez | talk 15:56, 16 June 2006 (UTC)
(At a proposal for rules to keep the admins from power abuse) I've always known many will never forgive me for my crimethink, but some rules might at least keep the bans from getting out of hand. --Nintendorulez | talk 22:41, 15 June 2006 (UTC)
I've gotten plenty of unwarranted bans of quite long length. When trying to ask Famine why so many of my edits to my own article were reverted, he simply started flaming me rather than answering my questions. That's something. --Nintendorulez | talk 19:01, 14 June 2006 (UTC)
(At a proposal to clarify the rules beyond "Don't be a dick") I think we need to be a bit more specific on some things. While the obvious, such as page blanking and whatnot, doesn't need clarification, I can think of some questionable bans in the past. I tried to remove a reference to me on a particular article, got banned for a few days. How was I to know I couldn't try to keep attacks on users out of the main namespace? Another time Famine reverted a LOT of edits to Tourette's Syndrome with no reason mentioned in the edit summary. Spelling was wrecked, templates were altered, links removed, etc. When I reverted it asking what happened in the edit summary, it was reverted again with no answer. I reverted once more, mentioning in detail what is in the edit summary, got banned. Asked what was going on on Famine's talk page, got yelled at and ban extended. I particularly wonder about the rule with admins fallibility, since some admins seem unwilling to even admit their infallibility and ban those who question them. --Nintendorulez | talk 18:57, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
(More from above topic) Which isn't very specific to say in the rules. Humorous? Yes. A legitimate rule? No. It's basically the same as "If we feel like banning you for no reason whatsoever when you least see it coming, we'll do it". My point is that we need clarification. The rules leave too much gray area of what is and isn't bannable, and I'm sure some people may constantly fear getting banned out of the blue for something that nobody ever knew was bannable. --Nintendorulez | talk 22:03, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
There is a de-facto double standard; if someone like Nintendorulez were the one creating and recreating a substub like euroipods, he'd be banninated in a New York minute for recreating a twice-deleted page. I doubt that we really want to entrench this disparity (where some just get away with more than others) as "official" policy? --Carlb 01:17, 22 April 2006 (UTC)
That was my whole point about Euroipods from the very beginning. All it does is encourage idiots to keep writing shit like that, and unlike the writers of Euroipods, they'll just wind up getting banned for it. But how were they to know that a featured article is also the kind of thing you get banned for? It's nothing but mixed messages. --Nintendorulez | talk 22:03, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

Hope you all enjoyed these Classic Rants. --Nintendorulez | talk 23:38, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Classic rants? CLASSIC RANTS? I fucking hate it ppeeple are 2 lazy to fucking come up with new, original and new fucking rants! WTF?!! is a "classic rant", anyway. What the fuch! Goddamn people doesn't realize that a rant is never fucking classic, it's just a rant, damnit! Waaa! I just crushed my mouse,this "Classic rant" cut andd fucking paster really make s me blod boil!--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:25, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

I'm lazy too. So...

Talk:Euroipods. The ultimate classic rant. And Nin's final rant there will be an inspiration for an UnBook I hope to write in the next week month year whenever I get out of college. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 02:54, 3 October 2006 (UTC)