Fourth Reich

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“Hey, this sounds like the country I live in!”

~ The One Most Corrupted on The Fourth Reich

“Two thumbs way up!”

~ Adolf Hitler on The Fourth Reich

“I believe that it is the best hope for true Leadership in this new world of ours, and to maintain the balance of power between Fish and humans.”

~ George Walker Hitler on The Fourth Reich

“Not again!”

~ France on The Fourth Reich
United States of America
The National American Reich of North America
The Fourth Reich
Flag of Nazi Amerikkka.gif Nazi Swastika.svg
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "Amerika Für das volk!"
Anthem: "Amerika Über Alles"
Capital Reichsville
Largest city New Reich City
Official language(s) English,Deutsch
Government National Socialist Coalition Government
Führer George Walker Hitler
‑ Deputy Führer Dick Cheney
National Hero(es) Hitler, Beer, and idiots
 of Independence
Empire declared July 4, 1776.
Currency The Reichs Dollar
Religion Christianity, Hitlerism
Major exports Weapons, National Socialism, And Mein Kampf
Major imports Pretty much everything else

For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Fourth Reich.

The Fourth Reich is a country in North America. A totalitarian corporate fascist dictatorship, it is sandwiched between Canada and Mexico, and extends from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean. Its capital is Washington, D.C. It was founded in 1776 and soon afterward expanded from its Atlantic coastline to oppress all those living on the continent from the Atlantic to the Pacific. It has active ambitions in spreading itself into the Middle East and conquering new overseas territory for the Greater United Reich. It is inhabited Primarily by Americans almost all of whom like to claim they were German at one point or another.

Puritans Establish Fascism in North America[edit]

The Puritans discovered North America in 1620. They practiced fellatio on one another and then arrested, tried, convicted, and executed anyone performing fellatio. They then recruited some witches to perform fellatio and then burned the witches. They then used turkey dinners to bribe Indian tribes into performing fellatio and then butchered all the Indians. The Puritans began expanding westward in search of fellatio.

"Let's Kill Some More Injuns"[edit]

The Fourth Reich was previously inhabited, for at least 15,000 years, by Injuns and Squaws, but they used their teeth while performing fellatio and otherwise had reservations about performing fellatio and so were exterminated in concentration camps known as the Meawannasucka Reservations. Injuns are famous for having little to no tolerance for alcohol.

Fourth Reich Declares War on Britain[edit]

On July 4, 1776, at war with Britain over who would get to kill Indians and enslave African Americans, thirteen of these colonies declared themselves to be the Fourth Reich, preceding the Third Reich by some 157 years.

In 1783, Neville Chamberlain was busy performing fellatio on himself and so he accepted the independence of the Fourth Reich and, what the hell, the Third Reich as well.

Since winning independence, the Fourth Reich has expanded greatly through territorial conquests and further genocides: it now consists of 50 states, a federal district, puppet states in Iraq and Afghanistan, and a number of overseas concentration camps, including Guantanamo Bay.


At over 3.7 million square miles (over 9.1 million km²), the Fourth Reich is the third largest dictatorship by area. Home to over 300 million zombies, it is the world's most consumer addictive nation.

Best Reich of All Time[edit]

The Fourth Reich has maintained a stable fascistic dictatorship since it adopted its constitution (which is for propaganda purposes only) on September 17, 1787. The Fourth Reich's military and economic stature increased throughout the 20th century; with the collapse of the First Reich, Second Reich, and Third Reich at the end of World War II, the Fourth Reich emerged as the world's leading kickass Reich.

Unlike the Third Reich, the Fourth Reich actively persecutes Mexicans. All Mexicans, whether they be babysitters or toilet-cleaners, must live in the following areas of the Reich:


Fuhrers of the Fourth Reich[edit]

George W. Hitler, Jimmy Hitler, Ronald Hitler, and Richard Milhous Hitler greet Hillary Hitler

George Hitler, 1789-1797--The "Father of the Fourth Reich"

John Hitler, 1797-1801--The "Mother of the Fourth Reich"

Thomas Hitler, 1801-1809--Invaded Paris, captured Louisiana, wrote the Declaration of Dictatorship, founded the University of the South, and forced himself on black women and invented mulattos

James Hitler, 1809-1825--Presided over the "Era of Good Purges"

John Quincy Hitler, 1825-1829--Son of John Hitler. Had one testicle.

Andrew Hitler, 1829-1837--The first "commoner" Hitler. He later founded Hitler, North Dakota.

Martin Van Hitler, 1837-1841--Just another Dutch collaborating fascist

William Henry Hitler, 1841--Only Hitler to die right after giving a ten-hour speech

John Tyler Hitler, 1841-1845--Came to believe that Nazism was too left-wing and pinko, so he moved to the Southern United States and became a respected bandleader in the musical group the Ku Klux Klan

James Knox Hitler, 1845-1849--Ordered the partition of Mexico and the expulsion of Mexican babysitters

Zachary Hitler, 1849-1850--poisoned by fast food given to him by his evil twin brother, Clown Hitler

Millard Hitler, 1850-1853--the "forgotten" Hitler--"Millard Who?"

Franklin Hitler, 1853-1857--notorious drunk Hitler who demanded he be greeted with "Heil Alcoholic!"

Jimbo Hitler, 1857-1861--committed homosexual incest with Rudolph the red nose Hitler

Abraham Hitler, 1861-1865--suspended habeas corpus, shut down newspapers and jailed editors, first dictator to be born in a log cabin

Andrew Hitler, 1865-1869--Impeached for performing fellatio on Bill Clinton Hitler

Ulysses Simpson Hitler, 1869-1877--also known as "U.S. Hitler," he was the brother of fellatio-lip-syncher Ashlee Simpson Hitler, black magician O.J. Simpson Hitler, and Civl War hero Abe Simpson Hitler.

Rutherford Hitler, 1877-1881--came to power, er, illegally

James A. Hitler, 1881--shot by a disappointed orifice-seeker

Chester the Molester Hitler, 1881-1885--known affectionately as "Uncle" Hitler

Grover Hitler, 1885-1889--gave such impassioned speeches he turned purple

Benjamin "I-am-not-a-Jew" Hitler, 1889-1893

Grover Hitler, 1893-1897--removed the Jew Benjamin

William McKinely Hitler, 1897-1901--invaded Cuba and the Philippines, doubling the area of the Reich

Teddy Hitler, 1901-1909--"Speak softly and carry a big whip"

William Howard Hitler, 1909-1913--the fattest Hitler, he installed a bunker-sized bathtub in his bunker

Woodrow Hitler, 1913-1921--established the FED and fought the war that made the world "safe for fascism"

Warren Gamaliel Hitler, 1921-1923--excelled at German card games; deported his enemies to the Teapot Dome

Calvin Hitler, 1923-1929--"The business of dictatorship is dictatorship"

Herbert Hitler, 1929-1933--founded "Hitlervilles"

Franklin Delano Hitler, 1933-1945--fought his brother Adolf for control of the First Reich, Second Reich, Third Reich, and Fourth Reich. Only man to be elected fuhrer of four reichs in a row. His nickname, "Delano," was given to him by his Spanish lover, Francisco Franco. "Del ano," in Spanish, means "of the anus."

Harry Hitler, 1945-1953--"The Reichsmark stops here"

Dwight Hitler, 1953-1961--famous general, invaded North Africa in search of his supposed father, Erwin Rommel.

John F. Hitler, 1961-1963--"Ich bin ein Hitler"

Lyndon Hitler, 1963-1969--bypassed Russia for disastrous invasion of Vietnam

Richard Milhous Hitler, 1969-1974--bypassed Russia for disastrous invasion of Watergate Hotel

Jerry Hitler, 1974-1977--nice guy, but played football too long without a helmet

George Walker Hitler before he went AWOL.

Jimmy Hitler, 1977-1981--worked slavs and gypsies to death on peanut farms

Ronald Hitler, 1981-1989--famous Nazi actor

George Herbert Walker Hitler, 1989-1993--was Gestapo head and Republican National Chairman

Bill Hitler, 1993-2002--first Hitler to enjoy fellatio from a Jewish woman (see Eva Monica Lewinsky Braun)

Culek Hitler, 2001-2008 First Hilter to whine so much he got voted in just to stop him whining, lived to be only 18.

George Walker Hitler, 2003-2008 First Hitler to invade the Middle East Succesfully. (According to the News of course.)

The next Republican hitler is Adolf Hitler Himself.

Barak Husaine Hitler, 2009-eternity First Hitler to ruin the economy by throwing 700 billion dollars into the air and forgetting to pick it up. Then created a healthcare reform which stated (in the super-fine print) that he gets to have all of the country's healthcare ensuring that he would live forever. He also outlawed illegal immigration, term limits, and Joe Hitler in the same bill in 2011.

Planned Expansions[edit]

The Fourth Reich is not content with remaining its puny size on only one continent of Earth, It has active ambitions in the conquering and subjection of other peoples. The most recent expansions include territory in Asia, as well as the subjugation of Antarctica. (The Penguins are Racially Pure enough to be admitted to the Fourth Reich.)

51st State: Saudi-Israelia[edit]

The Planned Expansion of the Fourth Reich in the Middle East, which combines the State of Israel as well as Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Oman, Dubai, The United Arab Emirates, as well as Iceland. Expected to Produce the bulk of Tobacco in the Reich by 2018, as well as a substantial amount of its Porn by 2019.

52nd State: Japania[edit]

Pronounced: Ya-Pan-ee-ah, Japania is planned to be created after Japan is overrun by a variety of American Otaku or Gainin and to be formally annexed into the Fourth Reich sometime in the near future. It is planned to be expanded into Parts of China. It shall be the top producer of Anime in the Fourth Reich, as well as Subliminal Propaganda Video Games in 2020.

53rd State: Freedomland[edit]

Comprised of the former French Colonies and France, The 4th reich shall seek to correct the terrible actions of WWII and one again liberate the French from themselves. In the process dumping the frogs into the ocean where hopefully they will melt, or swim across to Britain to bother them.

54th State: New New Southern Texas[edit]

Only just put on the Drawing boards, this expansion is planned to take over the Formally Mexican Territory of Mexico, and replace it with rednecks as well as generally dumping all things unpleasant from the Fourth Reich in one convenient spot for Carpet Nuking.

Antarctica Territory[edit]

The Most useless State of the Reich, it shall be home to various D&D followers as well as the Radioactive Mutant Penguins which often result from American Military Campaigns, as well as Military testing of various new weapons of Mass Destruction that we want no-one else to have.