“I could have lost the RBOS 6 billion, but I would have done it for free”
“And I'm keeping every penny”
Fred Goodwin (born Fred Badwin) is a well known confidence trickster, impressionist and former leader of the Royal Bank of Scotland. He recently became famous for having a really big pension despite his incompetence. As a result of this 70% of the bank now belongs to the British tax payers, what a shame that it's worthless.
When the bank was going well everybody was happy, including the government, but then the bank got too ambitious and silly and now everyones annoyed including RBOS employees.
The biggest reason for the loss is that Sir Fred bought a Dutch bank, which turned out to be ticking time bomb of bad debt. It's since been suggested that RBOS didn't do enough research into the bank before they bought it, perhaps because Fred can't speak Dutch.
Some people want Sir Fred arrested and tried in court, others want him hanged. Unfortunately neither is likely since he hasn't really done anything wrong in the legal sense, just been a national douche.
Vandalism of property
Fred confirms that he was not in his house when it was vandalised on the 25th of May. He confirms he was infact in Dubai having more fun than the majority of the starving unemployed British population.
After 20 years, sir Fred goodwin decided that enough was enough. He hired some surviving workers from India (who were so poor that they were not affected by the credit crunch) to clean up the bodies of the angry people who, over the years, had made hunger strikes over his pension. He then went out and used some of his spare change to buy finland.
Fred (50) plans to live a further 50 years at the expense of the British taxpayer, he would also receive a telegram from his friend the Queen.
When Fred dies he will be going to hell. Yadda.