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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Furry.

“Well, I got banned from deviantART because of them.”

~ Random deviantART member who had called some Furries' Nude Rouge The Bat artworks offensive

Furries are defined as those that delve pleasure from dressing up as animals and having sex with each other. They can be usually found inhabiting online communites such as deviantART, YouTube and quite recently Uncyclopedia. To many they are sick twisted individuals that need to have a serious brain operation. To each other, they are brothers, their ultimate goal in live is to have sex with an actual animal. Most furries are Japanese, because they're crazy as shit over there (unless you're Japanese, then ignore that). A non-furry should never approach one of these individuals without a rape whistle, taser and copious amounts of pepper spray. Thou hast been warned.

Life cycle

A typical furry.
Typical erotic furry art.
Typical furry art.

Furries are once children that grown up with animal-related cartoons, such as Sonic, Pokemon and anything made by Walt Disney. It also includes Reptiles, such as dragons, and birds. These Animal-loving children later grew up and turn on their childhood favourites, by drawing porn of them and involving in sexual intercourse with fursuits and horse dildos. They then blatantly share their furdom onto the internet, mostly via the furry site known as DeviantART, Furaffinity or e621. Since furries are friends with many non-furries, they then try to spread their fandom to non-furries, and lure them to furry conventions in the disguise of a animecon. Then they start to put the unsuspecting humans into a trance with their furry mating dance, which puts them into a trance where they will be raped with a 489 foot tall fox cock. The unsuspecting human might think they can escape, but in reality the human will be mind-controlled and turn into a gigantic furfag himself. Then the ex-human starts to infect non-furries and the cycle continues.

Types of furries

Typical wolf furry fantasizing itself. In reality, it is YOU that is a wolf furry.

Furries have a lot of kinds, each fetishing a different kind of animal/creature. The most common kind is the fox/wolf/dog furry, which worships demons in the form of a man with the fur and head of a wolf/fox or dog. The demon gives them the ability to see everything as a wolf/fox/dog and draw them as one in the process. Severe possesions have been reported to draw Rough Gay Wolf Sex and Yiff. A form of dog furry is the sparkledogfur, which draws dogs with obscenely beautiful colors and passing it as the furrie's own. in fact since all sparkledogs use the same base, sparkledogfurs often rant about who traces whose sparkledogs, causing DeviantART to implode upon it's presence. All sparkledog artists live in two places; DeviantART and furaffinity.

The second kind is the Dragonfur. These Furries fetish dragons, an animal that does not exist and does not have fur. As a result, they are the easiest furries to denial their furfaggotry. In reality, they are as bad as any other furry. since dragons do not exist they often die of dissapointment, or delude themselves for eternity.

Sonicfur's wet dream

There are also the kind that fetishes franchises instead of actual animals. These can be split in several types; The Pokefur, Digifur, Disneyfur and Sonicfur. First, the Pokefur. Since pokemon has many furry-based and sexy-looking ones, such as, but not only the following, All eeveeloutions, Gardevoir, Lucario, Houndoom, Absol, Pikachu and Garchomp, Many furries do draw Rule 34 of their favourite pokemon, and cosplay as them, even to the extent of drawing "Anthros" of them. If the furry is worse, they will even draw EVERY SINGLE POKEMON as anthro, causing cancer. The most common furry pokemon idol is The eeveeloutions, which has 8 kinds. Digifurs are the same thing, but they fetish Renamon. Secondly, we are about to talk about the Sonicfur. These furfags are the worst and most profilic furfags before the advent of Bronies. They do fetish the once good franchise known as Sonic and are the cancer to DeviantART, The gaming community, and the internet as a whole. They like to couple sonic characters in many Creative styles, such as Amy X Sonic (although Sonic does not love Amy at all), Amy X rouge, Sonichu X Chris-chan and even to the extent of pairing themselves with a canon character. They are also the dumbest furries, inable to convert anyone aside of a retard. As a result most sonicfurs are retards.

The disneyfur is the most sick fuckery of all furries, about 60% worse than the wolffurs. Since 100% of Walt Disney's creations are based on furry animals, it has attracted furry monstorities to sell their soul to the furdevil. They are in fact the greatest benefactors to ruining your childhood, known for having erections to cartoons for 6 year olds. One race of them, known as the Rangerphiles, are known for being unequaled for feroicity and contangiousness before the advent of Bronies.

Perhaps the worst furries are a swarm of eldritch monsterities known as Bronies. Also known as the descendants of Mr. Hands, These horse fuckers are the pinnacle of all furries. Not only their contangiousness is massive, capable of spreading through all 4Chan in 80 seconds, they are everywhere, ranging from DeviantART to 4chan and to the extent of memebase (Holy shit, they even made it their own religion!) Speaking of their contangiousness, anybody walking into the 20-square radius of a brony will turn into, and they can infect others just by letting them watch the show. In fact you can turn into a brony just by entering a brony site, interacting with a brony, having contact with Lauren Faust, and by watching the show. You don't even need to interact with a brony to get infected.

There are also several kinds of non-mainstream furries, such as cave story furs (who masaturbates to mimigas and anthromorphic robots), Okami furs (masturbating to Ameratsu) and Fantards of Naruto.

Typical imaginary furry female
True furry females


Despite their contangiousness and numbers, Furries have their own enemies as well. The top-tier enemies of furries is 4Chan and Anonymous, which were sent by god to destroy the scum known as furries. However, some had forsaken their purpose, and started the cancer that is killing /b/, the ghettos of 4Chan. Despite all of this, 4Chan is always the top enemy for furries due to their superior 1337 Haxor skills. Other enemies include Y!Gallery, which fursecuted all the furries from posting wolf cock, other human porn sites and human hentai artists, which they call "skinfags", as well as anybody masturbating to a human.

What you can do to help

First, draw a real lion/wolf/tiger out of it's cage, and see if the furry would run. He will have one of the two responses; Stay and have an erection, or run. Either way, he dies. Make sure to bring raw meat and a gun. Does not work with Dragonfurs.

Do not interact with them, watch My Little Pony, touch Lauren Faust or go to DeviantART/Furaffinity without troll magic. Just stay away from them anyway. Make another friend.

Secondly, Force them to watch human porn. Exposure to human porn is confirmed to make most furrie's heads A SPLODE and their body melt in flames.

Thirdly, you can use a gun to hunt for furries, just like animals. The best place to do so is a house party where fags will be out wearing fursuits. Kill anyone wearing a fursuit.

Finally, since furries are not human, and they want to be animals, putting them down with a dose of arsenic is an option.

In the internet just invite your friends to invade their hideouts already. Famous furry hideouts include DeviantART, FurAffinity, Equestria Daily (Bronies), and the furry part of 4Chan.

See also

External links

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