G.F.Handel

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G.F.Handel


Gershwin Fivaldi Handel was a remarkable Romantic Neo-Impressionist musician (indeed, Oscar Wilde was heard to remark "well he's shit, isn't he?"), second only to his father, J.S.C.P.E...(etc.)Bach. He became frustrated with constantly being compared to his father, who was known for such classics as The Goldberg Variations and Dancing Queen, so he cryogenically froze himself, resurfacing 300 years later under the pseudonym of Avril Lavigne.

Free from the pressure his father had put him under he went on to become the world's leading musician and crime-fighter, and was quickly voted King of Americaland. However, having invented and developed a cheap and simple way for non-musicians (or commoners) to create their own music, removing the need to pay supermodels to appear on MTV in revealing outfits, he was assassinated by eighteen leading members of the music industry and a raging mob of adolescent boys simultaneously.

Works[edit]

  • The Messiah
  • The Coronation Chicken Anthems
  • The Messiah Returns
  • Straight Outta Compton
  • The Messiah Strikes Back And This Time It's Personal