Gabba

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Gabba has also had a long standing history of inciting violence in lesser primates. This can be averted with electrofunk therapy and bananas.

Gabba is a form of techno made by the Dutch, well known to be the progenitors of wooden shoes and generalised enslavement of small, poor brown people. It is worth noting that gabba is not at all related to their similar creation, anthem trance.

The Sound of Gabba[edit]

Gabba is a unique breed. Having been originally synthesized by David Hasselhoff in his landmark track, "We Have Arrived" 100 years ago, it still contains excessive chest hair and fills you with a need to prance about in a red swimsuit.

Overall, the sound of gabba can be easily created by feeding a newborn house record crack cocaine mixed with amphetamines. For additional gabba stylings, gabba producers have added their unique variation on the hard drug biblical literalism, known by its street name, "Irrational Exuberance".

History of Gabba[edit]

David Hasselhoff during his black and white years.

As previously stated, Gabba began in 1906 when David Hasselhoff first traveled forward in time, to the birth of house in 1984, carrying along his then sidekick and later lover Paul Reubens. Hassellhoff and Reubens both were enticed by the hypnotic beats and funky rhythms, and went back to 1906 to find some way of producing their own spin on this beautiful sound.

At this point, the secret agents of NAMBLA, the NAACP, and the Bilderberg group, sensing the potential l33t powers of house music released before its time, set forth to crush the duo's efforts.

It was at this point, the organizations rallied together, and with the help of the Rorand Corpurashun, created that which would define the future of the gabba sound, the busted TR 909 and equally busted speakers.

When Reubens was sent off looking for a drum machine, the agents of the NAACP secretly replaced all of the 909's he could potentially buy with busted ones. When Reubens returned to their lair with his shiny new busted 909 in hand and tried to bring up the fact that drums are not supposed to sound like what they were, Hassellhoff, tripping on orange sherbet, exclaimed, "Bitch I'm David Hasselhoff! It sound like what it sound cuz I want it, bitch!" Reubens shrugged it off, and cut the preset drum pattern, including the occassional skipping, to a 45 which he entitled "We Have Arrived."

After this great landmark album, the Dutch quickly lept upon this new sound which, as a result of their being Johnny Foreigners and speaking different languages, called Gabba.

To this day, thousands of gabba albums are routinely cut in the same style as "We Have Arrived", and has evolved into a plethora of styles which all sound exactly the same.

Speedcore[edit]

Like gabba, only faster. Popular in Empire of Japan and nazi germany, primarily because an inordinately high number of speedcore songs about robots and 8 year old girls' panties. Some say it began in New York. Those people are liars who refuse to admit that once any former axis power steals something, they made it.

Key Speedcore Tracks[edit]

"New York City OMFG IMMA SO hXc 4 LISTENING 2 DIS CRAZEE FAST MUSIKSZ!" - Lusers Of Annihilation

"Dancing With the VEE ARE NOT NAZIS 4 SHAVING OUR HEADZ AND HITTING EACH OTHER YOU STUPID AMERIKANERS!" - Fraughman

Bleeding Vomit-Stained Sanitary Towels by Ladyscraper

Bloodklaat Haat-Attaak by Generic R. A. Gacore