Galaga

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Galaga accounts for the accurate depiction of the Star Wars circa 1980. People from all over the world bowed before the Galaga Machines in order to watch the war develop in front of their eyes.

Most people couldn't watch the carnage: thousands of alien ships were destroyed by just one of our combat ships, powered by a single coin. The death toll rose to gazillions of dead aliens.

The name of the murderers was written on the stars, and the number of their victims was written at its side.

Galaga last combat was fought in 1998 thanks to the MAME teleport system.

Biggest Galaga Murderers[edit]

LUE 99,999,999

AAA 10,092,002

ASS 9,828,283

PIO 8,244,322

NUL 8,122,587

RIO 7,152,987

COK 6,263,898

TIT 4,332,544

PSY 2,565,898

WOK 1,762,285

SHT 1,509,873

The Machine[edit]

The Galaga Machine was developed in Star Century 0079 by the last surviving humans who hid from the tyranny of their alien rulers. After creating the machines, they sent them back in time to the early 1980s in order to change the future.

Purpose[edit]

The Machine itself was actually a training module used to recruit elite fighters during the Seventh Space War. These were used mainly by young children and teenagers who gave a small donation to the Universal Milita. Donations were made when the user inserted a silver astro disc into the hyper (or coin) slot. These astro discs were immediately beamed to the Universal Militia HQ, more commonly known as Universal Pictures.

Methods of Recruitment[edit]

Once a potential pilot reached a certain skill level, the machine sent out a signal to the underground organization known as NAMCO. A highly trained task force known as Point Blank would then hunt the canidate down, kidnap them, sodomise them and force them into the Universal Militia (also known as the UM).

New pilots were then given a mass production Galaxian unit and a 2 page manual briefly describing how to turn the unit on, and from that point onwards they could only rely on themselves, for fear of being distracted by other pilots. Because of these bizarre recruitment methods and lack of real training the UM suffered heavly losses during the 80s, losing 24 times as many units as the enemy force. However since the UM out numbered the Alien forces 30 to 1 they still manged to come out on top.

The Aftermath[edit]

Although the main war is over, there are still many lost and confused pilots who have yet to realise it. They still roam outerspace, endlessly searching for one more alien to destroy, that they may achieve eternal glory and be listed in the Hall of Fame. Many of the pilots honoured in this sacred hall now suffer from arthritis, no doubt caused by the countless hours they spent blasting aliens to protect our freedom.

Related Films[edit]

There is a movie named Alien: Resurrection which retells the story of this war in great detail, it manged to win 7 Academy Awards and 2 Grammys for it's sound track.