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The Nintendo Gamecube was a multi-media home entertainment device produced by Nintendo sometime around 2003(ish). The system was ballin and contained such notable hits as Conker's Live and Reloaded, Perfect Dark Zero, Donkey Kong Bongo Shit, and Starfox Adventures.

The Borg Gamecube[edit]

Nintendo's official ad for the Borg GameCube.
Patrick Stewart encounters a Borg GameCube.

The Borg Gamecube was an enhanced version of the Gamecube licensed to be produced by the Borg. This enhanced version of the system featured the ability to play all GameCube games, however it also included the ability to enslave the human race due to the widespread complaint about the original version of the Gamecube lacking that feature. After the Borg Gamecube was released even the most vocal of critics began to question the wisdom of a multi-media system capable of enslaving the human race.

In the ensuing conflict between humanity and the Borg Gamecube most of Eastern Europe was destroyed by the Gamecubes, after these actions it should be noted that Nintendo's stock wavered leaving many to speculate about the future of the company. The conflict was solved by Patrick Stewart, a stage actor, who just stepped in for some reason.


Many people protested against features of the GameCube that seemed pointless, like the modem which allowed a player to play other people online. Many found that the expansion slot was better used as a storage container for their stash.


Though the console itself died off very quickly (due to it being a huge steaming pile of useless Dung) it is a very little known fact that the Nintendo Wii is actually just a squashed, reduced functionality version of the GameCube. To successfully achieve the smaller size for the Wii, Nintendo replaced most of the GameCube's internal components with crap they found inside of the legendary Atari Jaguar. Nintendo came to this decision by doing the math. Unfortunately their math was horribly off and the final product was the Wii. It was due to the Atari Jaguars former popularity that the Wii sold over nine thousand consoles, despite it actually being as useful as Gordon Brown.