Ok. What is it? The Gayman Islands? I have never heard of it.
The Gayman Islands is a puff-magical country for you, me, my man-friend, your boyfriend and for his boyfriends and also (surprisingly) for their gay-boyfriends. It is a place for boys and men who love to sex other boys and men in the A (or who like to be sexed in the A). But for homo-gaymales only. No women allowed. Or girls. Not even your mother, Steven. Your dad, on the other hand,...maybe...just maybe...if he's cute. Just kidding! As long as he's a male-man he is allowed to participate in the gay-activities of our über-beautiful, brownish gay-country.
Sounds like fun to me. But tell me, dear: What is the Gayman Islands NOT?
- German Islands. (All German men are welcomed to the Gayman Islands, though.)
- Google Islands. (Obviously.)
- Giggle Islands. (No wait...actually it IS, because homoing tickles. A lot.)
- Goggle Islands. (Take a wild guess, why not. Hint: you're a homo.)
- Wiggle Islands. (No.)
Let me get this straight now. The Gayman Islands is there for...what kind of people? For me, maybe?
For all gay-sexual homo-men and their gay-boyfriends. (For homo-women there's an island called Lesbos.) Visiting the Gayman Islands is highly recommended for married gay-couples, homo-triplets and George Michael-duos...and, of course, for single-gayhomoers!
Ok...sounds really interesting. Where is it located?
Like you don't already know, you man...It is located in your heart. And in my heart, too. And in my trousers. Actually, in my fart-trousers. Come and I'll show you! (Please, show me yours, too.)
So, when can we go there? I'm getting all anxious here!
Hold your homos, pal. Well...how about now? You are free to go there at any time and as often as you gay-please. But: no cutting in the (gay)line, you silliest of the homos!
I understand. But why can't girls or women or homo-women or homo-gaygirls enter the Gayman Islands? Isn't that a bit evil-racialist and wrong-naughty?
No. Women aren't obviously gay-sexual homo-men, are they? Go and see Lesbos, you woman-lover. Only male-males are allowed. No girl-women or she'e-maleys.
What about lesbian-males? I know this "guy", who...
No. Just forget it. Lesbian-males...jeez.
Ok. Well, I'm certainly a man and I would very much like to go to the Gayman Islands now, please. How do I get there, sir?
It's very simple. Just follow these instructions:
- Think hard.
- Think about hardness.
- Think about stiffness.
- Think about Steven.
- Take off your phart-trousers.
Thanks for these tips! I'm off to the Gayman Islands!
Thank YOU. Have a gay-pleasant visit.
Some things to do in the Gayman Islands:
- Play with boys. Play with men. Play with semen. Experiment!
- Read some heterosexual-poetry and analyze it thoroughly. Don't cheat, you cheating gayhole!
- Take guesses who's the gayest homo on the island and who isn't.
- Sleep (with men). Or sheep with men. You decide. Or...let the sheep decide!
- Wrestle until you're all sweaty. Then, put your clothes on and wrestle some more until the sun comes up...
- Call Steven and tell him that you love his body. And his personality. And his fart-trousers.
- Find a manhole. Then...find another manhole. Count all the manholes that you find.
- Touch a gay-homo's homosexual-penis with your (or someone else's) gaysex-penis. Repeat (even though not necessary).
- Eat more Brokeback-pudding, you gay-cowhomo! No, not you. The other guy.
- This one's a bit difficult: Try to convince others that you're not a gayster. Or a Gay-Sir.
- Write down funny (German) sentences. For example: "Papa...bin ich homo-schwul?", "Friedrich Schiller ist gay!", "Zwischen deinen langen Homo-Beinen sehen wir uns.", "Schwanz im Arsch, Sperma im Mund, Herr Nietzsche!"
- Try to impregnate your boyfriend's boyfriend with some strange bodily fluid.
- Put everything in your butt.
Famous Gayman people (aka Gaymen):
- Gaylord - The Lord of the Gaymen.
- Me - No doubt about it.
- You - For sure!
- Your manfriend - What was his REAL name...
- Steven - The gay soccer player.
- Your dad - Definitely your dad.
- That Gay - He's the bestest and homoest gay.
- Hermann Hesse - The author of Stiff-in-Wolf
- Bill and Lance (from Gay-Contra 40k)
- That hole in the tip of your gaypenis. - Need I say more?
People who would like to be Gayman Islandians but can't because they simply can not, don't know how to do it or aren't able to do it because they are your mom:
- Gayporn - It's good for your bones (and boners). Just like milk.
- Gaying - When a heterosexual homoman sexloves a gaysex-oriented straightman...in the A Word.
- Iceland - for gaymen
- Lesbos - well...it's an island...but not for men nor Tom Hanks with a fake beard...an island for (fe)-males
- A Journey into a Nus - Gay-Sexualism among Homo-Gaymen - An Essay on Gay-Moustache-Philosophy
- Homoing - the act of gaysexualing
|Countries and territories of North America|
|Main: United States of America | Canada/Canadia | Mexico | Jesusland | Confederate States of America | Québec|
Northernmost: Mediocre Britain | Canada States | Duchy of Björk | People's Republic of Canada | Awesome land/Not So Awesome Land
Atlantic: United Spades of Amerika | Wikiland
Caribbean: Barbados | Communist | Dominican Republic | Earthquake | Jamaica | Tortuga | Trinidad and Tobago
|Atlantic: United Kingdom of Britannia and Northern Pangaea|
Northernmost: Greenland | Gayman Islands | Acadia | St. Pierre and Miquelon | Cancanada
Gulf of Mexico: Pen Island | Tropico | Orgasm
Caribbean: Martinique | Bermuda Triangle | British Virgin Islands | Cayman Islands | Monkey Island | Puerto Rico | U.S. Virgin Islands