Gecko Huffing

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"Gecko Huffing" is a variation on your face Huffing discovered and refined by the Knights of Cydonia.

Demonstration of how to huff Geckos (Taken before 1997, so gecko is being huffed head 18th.)


Gecko Huffing was discovered on the Knight's annual Trek across Southern Namibia. As there were no cats around, the Knights were suffering from Huffing-related withdrawal symptoms. In a fit of blind rage, a Knight called Joe Collidog escaped from his tent naked and huffed the first thing he could find, which just so happened to be a Gecko. Such was the ecstasy that followed the huffing, all of Joe's hair fell out, including the hair on his back, sack and crack.

Refining of the technique[edit]

On returning to their settlement in the foothills of Mount Winnabobobobobob, Joe Collidog told of his experience. The elders were alerted, and Joe was hailed as a saint, and after a long ceremony, which included eating pizza and avoiding the town rapist van, Joe became Saint Joe of the Great Girth. After the tail 1st vs head 1st war of 1997 it was proclaimed that all geckos must be huffed tail 1st.

California anti-huffing Law[edit]

Due to Hollywood's heavy use of Gecko actors the movie studios immediately pushed an anti-Gecko Huffing law thru California's state house of reps. You are not even allowed to Huff Geckos in the privacy of your own home (the Govenator is watching you).

Reptiles to avoid Huffing[edit]

Alligators/Crocodiles/Caymen (for obvious reasons), Turtles/Tortoises (the shells man the shells), Komodo dragons (their mouths are full of deadly bacterium), the Trumpeter Snake (the horrible sounds it makes while being huffed will cause your ears to bleed), a Basilisk (it's hard to huff when you've been turned to stone), the Hypno-toad (it will hypnotize and huff you, much like Russia) and the licorice-whip lizard (tastes like burned rubber).