George Bush Themepark
After much debate over the actual feasibility of having a president based theme park the United States of America has decided to hold back all educational funding to build a multibillion-dollar theme park. This theme park, dubbed BushLand, is being built in the 51st state of Iraq and will open before the next presidential election.
Many of the rides and attractions will feature George Bush and all of his many sordid accomplishments. One of the most anticipated attractions is the “Weapons of Mass Destruction” ride. This ride will be highly interactive, with each participant being issued a metal detector and a robotic bomb-sniffing turtle. However, it is rumored that there will be no actual weapons of mass destruction anywhere on the ride. Also there is high anticipation for a Hurricane Katrina simulator, but you will not have any help getting on and off the ride. The Free Ride is a roller coaster biography of Bush in which you start in Texas, barely make it through high school, then progress through Yale with a 2.0 gpa (during this portion of the ride, riders are encouraged to drink liquor and snort blow off the tits of the hottest chick on the ride), your Dad buys you the Texas Rangers (as you pass along the Rangers portion, riders are instructed to cover their eyes while Jose Canseco and Rafael Palmeiro take turns injecting each other with steroids), you become Governor of Texas, and then finally president (most of the presidential portion of the ride is spent circumventing a replica of Bush's vacation ranch in Crawford, Texas).
Aside from Bush themed rides there will also be several acres devoted to past presidents. These rides shall include, Fun With the White House Intern, Big Boy Drop, Communist Communist, How Long is Dick Cheney?, MANBEARPIG's Cavern, and the Presidential Ear Wax Museum.
Aside from high flying action packed rides there will be many stores for you to buy what ever your hearts desire. Wal-Mart has already signed a contract with the park, and will be the major suppler of commercial goods for the park.
There is no shortage of places to stay at Bushland. The Katrina Mobile Home Park offers many fantastic features, including only slightly water damaged beds and free continental gumbo.
Food and drink
Starbucks and McDonalds have joined together to provide gourmet food for the entire park. The Park will include 42 Starbucks and 54 Golden arches. They will be located at the entry and exit of every ride and will offer free barf bags for those who suffer from bulimia.
During the initial construction there was plenty of debate over the chosen location for the park. Many of the park’s framers wanted the park to be built on Three Mile Island or south of Dollywood. However after much lobbying, on the part of Keanu Reeves, Baghdad was decided to be a most excellent location.
Donald Trump property tycoon and avid Sim City player have offered his apprentices to build the park free of charge. Also, the many Baghdad brothels have provided labor and entertainment.