Gettysburg Address

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Gettysburg Address.

“Five score and eighteen years from now, Alicia Keys will be born”

The Gettysburg Address, co-written by Linkin Park and Joseph Stalin after suffering through years of meaningless persecution by peers for having no luck with the opposite sex, describes how the producers of 'Walker Texas Ranger' came up with the resent surge of Chuck Norris superpower stories to increase USA's ratings. After completion of the address Stalin immeadiatley sent Linkin Park to Siberia and Mike Shinoda to Fort Minor, upon which arriving he started a breakaway rap group that is eternal destined to live in the shadows of Linkin Park.