Girl Scouts are actually not girls at all. They are in fact robots from the middle ages. The were built by a Frenchman named Arthur DuPont. He loved cookies and he wanted to share his cookies with everyone, so he built the girl scouts to sell them.
A Turn For the Worse
Following the release of WWII, the world wasn't interested in cookies any longer. The girl scout robots decided to release a film of their own. It was entitled Forrest Gump, and it had moderate sucess in the box office, pulling in a not-too-impressive 2.7 trillion rupees. The girl scouts donated this money to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and in return, Bill Gates upgraded their hardware components and also gave them a beta of Windows RG to run on. This move, however, proved to be fatal for the residents of Oak Forge, North Virgina...
The Oak Forge Incident
After being upgraded to Windows RG, the girl scouts decided to take their new components for a test run. They decided on a quiet town in North Virgina. Everything was going smoothly, until the Wingdings decided they didn't want to sell cookies anymore, so they created a virus and let it go in the system. The girl scouts partook in several actions that day: murder, rape, kidnapping, cat napping, shanking, making roast beef sandwiches, rape, in-vitro fertilization, grinding, calculating the odds of the end of the universe, tax fraud, rape, stealing candy, and worst of all, tax fraud. After this, the girl scouts went into seclusion.
Girl Scouts Today
Most modern girl scouts are the souls of the original girl scout robots possessing other girls. They don't malfunction as often that way, but when they do, you better steer clear, because they let out a super-sonic scream that detonates all the nuclear warheads on Earth at once. The last reported incident of this was in the early 90's. The typical girl scout is
- Afraid of bears
- In a group called Girl Scouts
- Hasn't died yet
- Oop She's dead
- A man whore
- A robot
- A steak sandwich