Golda Meir

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Golda Meir
Golda Meir
Personal info
Nationality Jewish
Date of birth Unknown: mother in coma for 5 years
Place of birth &O____o&----> o-<-<
Date of death [[]]
Place of death
First Lady S. Mycock
Political career
Order 225th queen, 23rd king
Vice President S. Mycock
Prime Minister Ran in 1965 election
Term of office Stone age–Golden age
Preceded by Elvis Presley
Succeeded by Your Mom
Political party Hammus

Golda Meir (Hebrew for "Goddamn my ear") is the 225th queen of Israel. She has become famous after being the first person ever to be born as a result of her mother being raped in the ear.

Meir was born to Mathilda Ughmyhead, a woman that was raped in the ear during a bizzare "advanced Strip poker" game, where people should actually be poked by stuff after being completly naked (and you can't be poked twice on the same spot). The event caused the UN to declair the game forbidden to the mankind, but years later, as a Israeli politician, Meir could piss on the UN and allow the game in her country, the result being a lot of peple being poked by knives by terrorists.


Meir was born in the small village of Earring, Southen Earland before moving to Israel as an exchange student 22 years later. Her excellent hearing abilities made a lot of people call her "bitch", and also got to the ears of the then-king of Israel, Elvis Presley. Elvis became Meir's boyfriend and 3.5 weeks after they got married.

As a queen, Meir became famous and everybody started to notice her waxy skin color. As a result she got her second nickname, Goldy, and started a rock band with the same name. Elvis was very offended and jelous by her huge success and started to eat a lot. Finally, his daughter's marriage to Michael Jackson gave him a heart attack and he died, leaving Meir to rule Isarel by herself.

The golden era[edit]

For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Golda Meir.

While Golda Meir was the only female queen in the history of Israel, she was known for her remarkable manhood and is considered one of the greatest non-Kakun Israelies of all time. She died in 1978 and is buried on Mount Herzlikefuk.