Good Charlotte

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Good Charlotte
Origins Krasnoyarsk, Russia
Years Active 1802 - Present
Genre(s) Jazz
Labels RMI (Russian Music Incorporated)
Members Joel Madden, Benji Madden, Billy Martin, Paul Thomas, Dean Butterworth

Good Charlotte is Emo.
Respect him/her, or one of them will call Addy.

“Mah Grillz iz poppin, they shockin, them hoez! I am involved in AL QUEDA, Yo!”

~ Good Charlotte lyrics

“I don't know much at all.”

~ Good Charlotte lyrics

“In Soviet Russia, Charlotte Goods YOU!!!”

“It never crossed my mind once that the green gummy bears cause heartburn, and now I know. thanks to TUMS. They helped me through the tragic death of my Brother, dennis von strossenburg. GET TUMS NOW!”

~ Read from page 928 of Benji Maddens Novel, "Are you there, god? Its me, Dylan Jones...i mean, Benji madden. No wait, yeah. Benji Madden."


~ Non-Threatening Boy Magazine, March 2001-present

Good Charlotte is the most terrible band ever to attempt to blow up my brains with their incessant ghetto-emo whining. They are fanatical and communist (or social) Russian band most known for it's jazz anthems and anti-air guitar skills. They are proud of their homeland and cold birth place of Russia, and often refer to it in their albums with great patriotism.


The Good Charlotte's have always been peace-loving people, ever since they migrated to our fine, fine country from Alaska. A long and happy history of peace has followed them wherever their nomadic and cocaine-fueled lives may take them, splattered across the pages of history. In the beginning, after God made Adam and Evan, the Good Charlotte's began to sing awesome music of a beautiful girl named Charlotte who would some day become a princess. in a horrible accident, when all the Good Charlotte's clan had been together for a ridiculously inconvenient family reunion, they all died. only the few who did not attend survived. forming a band, the Good Charlotte's continue to sing awesome music and remember their killed clan.

Band members[edit]

The band is fronted by identical twin brothers Joel Madden (lead vocals & good twin) and Benji Madden (lead guitar, backing vocals & evil twin). Joel, also known as Marcus (the lycan) and Benji, also known as William (the vampire) are immortal, thus they have fronted the band since the beginning. The pair wrote their first song, "Parrots Don't Taste Like Chicken" while working at their parrot farm. Though their favourite song to date, the single never broke the Russian, or any, top 1000 list.

Other members of the band include, but are not limited to, Billy Martin (accoustic guitar & electric keyboards), Paul Thomas (guitar & saxophone) and Dean Butterworth (drums & triangle). The band has gone through several hundred members, as the life span of the Russian people is much shorter than the rest of the world, with the average death 46 years sooner due to Vodka-induced frost bite and nuclear leaks. Some of the other members of Good Charlotte include Stalin, Trotsky, Darth Vader and George Orwell. However Mr.T has appeared as a guest vocalist and trombone player! And and and ehhhh.... oh yeah! a flautist and floweriest. Good times, good times.

It is also said that they have toured with the song "Russian Sailor Dance" for over 5 years.

On September 4th 2008, the band had a massive argument after the drummer was found to have the largest penis of them all (3.8 inches). The rest of the group were so ashamed of this that they promptly committed suicide.

The Anthem Makers[edit]

The band is self-proclaimed as "the Anthem Makers" of the last 3 centuries, combined and divided. Their most famous and top-ranked singles ("The Anthem," "The Anthem 2," "The Anthem 3," "Bingo Arms Anthem," "The Krasnoyarsk Anthem," "North Coast Anthem" and "Dance Floor Anthem") have proved profound in their lyrics and wicked phat beats.


  • 1802: Good Times in Krasnoyarsk
  • 1888: The Girls of Good Times Cat House
  • 1917: Revolution
  • 1990: Breaking Down Berlin Walls
  • 2000: Good Charlotte
  • 2004: The Chronicles of Death and Death
  • 2007: Good Times Revival
  • 2008: Fag Olympics
  • 2012: The Old and the Hopeless

Top Singles[edit]

Good Charlotte has produced many hits, and a couple misses. But, the hits were very popular in Russia, where a great number of Good Charlotte's singles hit the top ten on "Russia's Weekly Top 40 with Rick Dees-inhowshin." The following is the name of the single, the album the single came from, and the top number it reached on Rick Dees-inhowshin's list.

  • Lifestyles of the Old & Sagging - "The Old and the Hopeless" (2012), #2
  • Ladies & Men vs. Girls & Boys - "The Old and the Hopeless" (2012), #7
  • The Anthem - "The Old and the Hopeless"(2012), #5
  • The Anthem 2 - "The Girls of Good Times Cat House" (1888), #6
  • The Anthem 3 - "Breaking Down Berlin Walls" (1990), #4
  • Bingo Arms Anthem - "The Old and the Hopeless" (2012), #8
  • The Krasnoyarsk Anthem - "Good Times in Krasnoyarsk" (1802) - #1
  • North Coast Anthem - "Good Charlotte" (2000) - #3
  • Dance Floor Anthem - "Good Times Revival" (2007) #9
  • The Ball Breakers Anthem - "Breaking Down Berlin Walls" (1990) - #1

Did You Know?[edit]

Werewolf Vegetarianism
  • Despite the fact that Joel Madden is a furbolg, he is a Vegetarian.
  • 17 different band members of Good Charlotte have died due to kitten huffing.
  • Good Charlotte can call on Captain Planet.
  • Joel Madden sleeps with his dad at night, and keeps the night light on. And he sleeps naked and cries in his sleep and if for some ridiculous reason this band is on tour and his dad cannot be there, he sticky tapes a picture of him to the drummers face. Then puts a hole in it.
  • All the members of this terrible, terrible band are five kinds of gay and twice as shit as an emo's will to live.
  • Their 2006 fundraising concert held in bookansneef, Russia for The end of health care lost over 20,000,000 US dollars due to riots and the deaths of fans.
  • Because of Joel Maddens strong Chinese heritige, He personally painted their Tour Bus Grey in honour of Sargent Romio von tassleberg's death in 1820. There were no survivors.
  • After a tragic falling-down-the-stairs incident, Benji Madden's left thigh was replaced with a wooden spoon.

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Good Charlotte.