Good Friday

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to Good Friday.
What really happened on that first Good Friday!

Good Friday is holy day observed by Western Mystics in Northern Europe and the United States celebrating money and wealth. In Middle English, "good" meant gold. Good Friday commemorates the crucifixion of Jesus on a cross of gold. Traditional ways of celebrating Good Friday include the Good Will Hunt, where children find golden nails, golden crosses, and golden coins (usually made out of chocolate) hidden by adults. The Good Will Hunt has its roots in a darker tradition of 1400s England, where witches were rounded up on Good Friday and were crucified on crosses of gold after having crowns of thorns pressed upon their brows.

In the reformed Augustan calendar, Good Friday is the Friday before Easter, another holy day for Western Mystics celebrating Ishtar, goddess of fertility. In the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, it was customary for English gentlemen to observe Good Friday and Easter by gathering gold coins on Good Friday to be used for the procurement of services from prostitutes on Easter.