Good Old Rusty Concealed Chainsaw
“What's this stupid feec doing here? I thought it was concealed!”
“Allow Good Old Rusty Concealed Chainsaw to slice your face in half?”
“Departheid apologizes for self-referencing himself.”
“You have two chainsaws. You sell one in exchange for a cow, but you accidentally kill the cow with the other chainsaw. Now the chainsaw is bloody, and you can't sell it for the cow.”
Good Old Rusty Concealed Chainsaws were invented in order to provide an efficient way to kill zombies that required no silver or mythical enchantments. They later spread out into Tofu killing. It is sometimes said that GORCCs can be used to make corned beef, but this is only a rumour. If you ever encounter one, be sure to carry a shield. Good Old Rusty Concealed Chainsaws are wild and savage beasts of the wild until tamed by man. However, tamed GORCCs should not be trusted either, as they are lying, cowardly beasts of burden.
What Is a Good Old Rusty Concealed Chainsaw, Anyway?
It's a Good Old Rusty Concealed Chainsaw, Billy. It's not that hard to figure out, innit? Wot's it? A bit on the side'a obfuscated for you? You want I should spell it out? All right, then; I will.
As opposed to a crappy chainsaw, this one is mechanically reliable and not prone to random coffee stains.
Well, you don't want a brand new shiny chainsaw, do you? It's just going to get dirty, and besides, an old chainsaw has seen its share of work in all its days of fighting zombies and killing assassin Tofu, right? Plus, if it's old, you can't sell it for a cow, so you're stuck with it, like you should be.
It's old, then. When metal things get old or covered in blood, they get rusty. It's the way of things in this world, really. You really can't go too far in an industrialized society and not expect to see a speck of rust, éh? but don't worry it's not bad, it's good (see above).
Unless you're Doctor Who, this is quite a feat, but it is required due to the fact that most people run away from crazy people wielding chainsaws, unless they're in horror movie, and then they just back up slowly and wait to die whilst screaming at the top of their lungs.
O RLY? YA RLY.
Applications of Such an Object
It kills! With spectacular accuracy! In fact, no other weapon or object of metallic skin has ever come close to the utterly godlike and omniscient qualities of the GORCC!