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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Gopher.

Most advanced animal on the planet. Far exceeds the knowlege of the human species.

The gophers took over in 1977 as most advanced species. Then enslaving mankind only to make us pop up out of machines so they could smash us in the head with a mallet.

This poem is Enscribed upon the Gopher state building.

Love! Exciting and new --

come aboard, we're expecting you!

The Love Boat,

soon will be making another run,

the Love Boat

promises something for everyone!

Set a course for adventure,

your mind on a new romance --

and Love Won't hurt anymore --

it's an open smile, on a friendly Shore! --Sven 22:09, 5 Aug 2005 (UTC)