“Goulash? Yes, I remember eating it. Terrible stuff.”
“I'll have mine with extra hot sauce and peppers.”
“It's not goulash. It's gulyás. Gúúúúlyáás.”
Goulash is a existential concept of the combination of various souls (gouls) into a mash, which over the course many eons becomes edible to humans. Some people say that this adds an extra 'm' to the word, but these nay-sayers fail to account for the Nordic rule of dropping the letter 'm' from all words which deal with the supernatural.
The taste of Goulash can only be described as parilysing and while little is known about the effects of Goulash upon those not mentally ill, it has been speculated that consuming all of the Goulash in the universe would render a person invincible, i.e. "The One".
Commonly miscredited to Marie Curie, Goulash was actually discovered by Sir Francis Drake nearly 5000 years before the birth of Christ at the ancient ruins of New York City. Historical records tell of the miniature people of Sweden using Goulash as a form of capital punishment, but are probably incorrect.
Others say, that it had been originally invented by the Hungarians 1000000 years B.C., after that it was lost, but at last reinvented by Attila the Hun while eating his horse's shit in the V. century.
Scientist are sure that eating a goulash may cause serious mental illnesses such as the "wannabe physicist", "wanna conquer the world" syndromes. If somebody eats too much goulash he will turn into a Hungarian. And that is incurable.
Isra1337 tried to kill Goulash in A.D. 2006 moth of december 13, but some goulash-fan patriot saved it.
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