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Independent & Sovereign Nation of Grahamtopolis
Believed by many to be where the original ideals of Grahamtopolis were founded, akin to Independence Hall.
Official Flag
The colors, Olive Green, Red and White represent strength, passion, and purity respectively. The Lion represents Nobility and the Dragon represents the Intellect that is valued so highly among the citizens. The crossed swords represent Grahamtopolis' revolution for freedom from The Mushroom Kingdom(That, and the fact that at any particular time there are generally several knives hidden in the couches, sometimes even real swords.) while the Star that ties the flag together represents the unity of Grahamtopolis. The G, of course, stands for the foundation of the nation itself, the ground.
Official language English and various sub dialects like l33t and punches to the face.
Official Religion Pastafarianism
Capital Technologeum
King Alexander I, Supreme Monarch of The Soveriegn Nation of Grahamtopolis.
Earth Everyone is a subject of Grahamtopolis. They just don't know it yet.
Established December 23rd, 1988
Motto "Rule through ph34r is superior win."
Currency Hamburger helper. Tuna helper in a pinch. Barter system based on fast food.
National anthem Sammy Hagar's "Heavy Metal"
National Sports Video games, D&D, Kitten Huffing
Moons Maybe four or so?
Country code Top Level Domain .grh, .org

Grahamtopolis, pronounced like the cracker plus topolis, is an ever expanding Monarchical Empire located in the Pacific Northwest. Founded in 1988 by a group of vagrants, it has become one of the leading superpowers on Planet Earth. Aside of course from the all-powerful USA


Originally founded by seven noblemen, sick of being oppressed by their government for crimes such as too much free time and the ability to form a sentence. Thus, they banded together and made their way through the the untamed wilds of the Pacific Northwest. These heroic travelers, their names recorded for posterity, were really not that important. No, really. Only like one guy actually mattered. Seriously. Oh fine. Aside from the future ruler, their were six others. Jordan the Fried, Eric the Hardcore, Kokowski the not Jewish, Tristan the Duchebag, Jake the Carpenter, and Jason the Monotonous. Leading this brave band was Alexander the Girthy, future emperor of Grahamtopolis.

After years of searching and endless persecution, and a few too many wild nights, they found themselves on upon a bountiful field of plenty. However, they realized they hadn't brought enough money to afford the standard of living.

Thus, the travelers found themselves upon a great land, from whence they could start a new life. It was very big you see, with lots of trees and other natural doohickeys that allowed them, to, you know, live and stuff.

The seven men built their city, and to it people flocked from around the world. Thus, was the beginning of Grahamtopolis.

A council was held to decide who would rule. It was split into three camps. One thought they should just choose a king, someone suggested a democratic process, and someone else had just assumed they were going to rule at the whim of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The second camp was taken out back and shot, as no one cared what the people thought. Democratically elected officials were pussies.

It was decided that they'd just pick a ruler, and considering that Newtontopolis didn't really sound to neat, Alexander was decided to lead the people. He accepted it with gusto, and very few civilians were actually killed. A win all around.

The box of rules was written up by a joint committee of Emperor Alexander I and some Belgians who were all subsequently executed for their insistence on rights for waffles. The rules themselves suffered a long ordeal which will be covered in much more detail and care later in this article.

As for Grahamtopolis itself, all was not immediately well. The original founding nobles had found their new home, yes, but it was beset on all sides by the inequities and tyranny of the world at large. So, to solve this problem, the nobles all got ridiculously drunk, and decided to call it an evening. The next morning, a flash of insight crossed Emperor Alexander's mind. They needed some knights

Many years passed. The Tiny nation grew, not only in size but power.

The Rules[edit]

RULE 1: Don't throw shit.

RULE 2: Don't throw sharp shit.

RULE 3: Throwing things is only allowed if it makes a silly noise and does not harm the recipient.

RULE 4: No girls allowed.

    Addendum- Rule 4 was repealed on account of it being a bit faggy.

RULE 5: Don't vandalize, it costs too much money to fix things.

RULE 6: Don't steal stuff, cause that's just lame

RULE 7: Dont FUCK with the chehneyans

However, in the dead of the afternoon, during a massive heat wave, a contingence of Jews attacked and destroyed the Box of Rules, thereby leaving the Nation of Grahamtopolis in a state of anarchy. Thus the ruling body of Grahamtopolis decided to save the RULES to a 256 Mb flash drive, and then had them hidden so that they would never be maligned so. The actual resting place of the rules is unknown, but many believe that it was stored in a safe in the royal palace, along with an Al Hirt record and a bag of Funions.

Judicial System[edit]

All acts against the GREAT BOX OF RULES, BRICK OF CODE, and/or any citizen of Grahamtopolis will be charged on Acounts of Douchebaggery.

Minor Douchebaggery: The breaking of law number One, and Three.

Semi Douchebaggery: The breaking of law number two, and the act of scaring away females.(It's a sausage fest right now.)

High Charges of Douchebaggery: The breaking of any two rules at once, or breaking law five and six. That and being more ugly than sin it self.


The government is an informal meritocracy. It is lead by the Emperor, currently Alexander I, and all decisions that he deems important are decided by him. If he doesn't comment or overrule or alter it within thirty days of him being informed about it, it turns into law by default. The next stage is the knights. The second highest, all the knights make up the Grand Counsel, a kind of senate. Knights are made up of the original founders of Grahamtopolis and their descendants, people who were voted into bing a knight (covered later) and Lords who had successfully completed a holy quest. The third stage are called Lords, and they are Grahamtopolean citizens who hold land and title. They are not allowed to vote, but they hold land and title, and benefit from mutual protection and trade of munchies. To become a lord, you have to be voted in by at least three lords or knights. The fourth and final stage is your average everyday citizen, who inhabits Grahamtopolis but holds no land or title. They become that way by just being declared one by a lord or knight.

Knights who gain position from a vote are quite unique. The vote must be attended by all knights or a stand in for the knights during the council. Then, the Lord must make their plea. Finally, the knights vote, and if it is a five out of seen to yes, the person becomes a knight.

Most, if not all, Imperial Edicts and laws are created by the Grand Council. Any kind of law, from taxes and new budgets to laws about kitten huffing. The Emperor can also mak Imperial Laws and edicts, but they can be rescinded by a three fifths majority Senate ruling. All laws that are successfully voted in by the Grand Council pass by the Emperor before being enacted, and they "stay of his desk" for thirty days before automatically becoming law. The Emperor can sign bills and make them laws immediately, or he can veto it and send it back for reappraisal. The judicial system is usually handled by a judicial council made up of Lords and Knights.

Great Quest[edit]

The unfortunate demise of the GREAT BOX OF RULES led to a a few of the original nobles setting out on a quest. Despite the fact that many do not know the tale it doesn’t subtract from the true importance of it. Eric the Hardcore, Kokowski the not Jewish, and Pelly the Comedian ascended their journey. There were many new lands and items discovered and the questees themselves found a new medium for the Box of Rules, which was dubbed upon their return to Grahamtopolis as the BRICK OF CODE(Despite the fact that the rules have yet to be written on the BRICK OF CODE.)

Current Quests[edit]

Operation Cwal: The actual plans themselves are Top Secret but they may have something to do with the Great Box of Rules and the contingence of Jews.

Operation Joint Efforts: To Clean the waste of Grahamtopolis.

Operation End to ye old: To overthrow Lord Alexander 1 (shhhhh, He doesn't know yet!)