Grand Theft Election: Bush v. Gore

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GrandTheftElection.png

Introduction[edit]

Grand Theft Election is a PS2 game released in early 2001. It tells the tale of a corrupt and despotic political party that comes to power by manipulating the results of a federal election.

Story[edit]

Before the Election[edit]

You start the game as the crack smoking, alcoholic, oil executive/ex-governor of Texas. Your goal is to raise enough money to run for president. Spurred on by your ex-president father and younger brother, who is governor of Florida, you enlist the aid of Jews, Zionists, fundamentalist Christians, military contractors, and oil companies in order to secure the presidency. In your climb to the top you must slander all of your opponents and attempt to fool people into thinking you are a decent human being.

The Election[edit]

The election is very close, while it looks like all your bribing and trickery has had some effect, there is probably a pretty good chance that your opponent might win. It ends up with you and your opponent in a dead heat, it all comes down to a single state.

Election Aftermath[edit]

It looks like your opponent has a slight advantage in the disputed state. In the weeks after the election you must drive around and bribe all the judges on the Supreme Court. With the money given to you by your father it should be enough to buy off the judges. This will be enough to secure the presidency and further your plans for world domination.

Characters[edit]

George W. Bush[edit]

The main protagonist of the game and US presidential hopeful. With his oil money, his dad's money, support from his brother, the religious right, jews, and Corporate America, he hopes to secure the presidency to further his goals of world domination. Good things about him: none. Bad things: he's a gay, in love with Osama Bin Laden, has small dick so Laden pushes him in the ass and uses female perfume, from his lover Bin Laden who uses the same perfume.

George H.W. Bush[edit]

Former president and father of George Jr, George Sr. contributes heavily to his son's campaign. He is secretly ploting to take over the world along with his son, through both military and economic imperilism (aka neoliberalism). He is a gay, like all of the Bush family. He's in love with Jeff Hardy, but his longtime lovers are Satan, God and Jesus Christ. He took Cheeny one night to his bedroom and did naughty stuff.

Jeb Bush[edit]

The retarded brother of George Jr. and second son of George Sr. He helps bribe judges so George can win Florida. Reason of his sickness is the fact that both Georges, hungry for sex, attacked him and fucked him so bad he can now barely speak.

Al Gore[edit]

George Bush's retarded opponent and the main obstacle standing in the way of Bush's plan for global opposition. Keeps demanding recounts after recounts.

Donald Rumsfeld[edit]

Commander of the Republican Army, new Defence seceratary of the Bush government. Plans to conquer the world. Has plans to invade Iraq and liberate their oil supplies.

Dick Cheney[edit]

Bush's running-mate and corporate pawn. Cheney is the CEO of Halliburton a multi billion dollar crime syndicate. Plots with Donald Rumsfeld to invade Iraq so he can give his company a monopoly on all construction contracts.

Barrack Obama[edit]

Somehow is considered the most powerful character in the game because of his supersonic ears. His ears are said to be able to hear old people getting intimate from 2 miles away (which might also be why he dislikes firearms). Some people also believe that he is the spawn of Satan giving him the powers to do anything that is evil... but in order to use this power you have to use cheatcodes.

Criticism[edit]

This video game received an unbelivably positive reactions from critics, but, as expected, poor reactions from players with 2% of the players claiming that they threw that game into their garbage bins after 2 minutes of gameplay, while 98.00001% of the players claiming that the box doesn't come with the game disc , instead, it comes with a DVD sex tape which features George Bush and Al Gore along with Bill Clinton and John Kerry. This angered many buyers and Grand Theft Auto series fans. Rockstar, however claimed that the game box should come with only a blank manual guide and suspected that the manufacture put the porn DVD disc due to the fact that EA paid them money to do this. Rockstar is now planning to sue EA and the manufacturer for 10 million and since people will do anything for money Rockstar eventually won the case by bribing the judge with a million dollars and is currently using the money to make their sequel to the game Grand Theft Election:we're all fucked.

See Also[edit]

Grand Theft Auto
Games
The Lost Games Lego Island | Cosmo | Poop City | Tatooine | Television City | Television City 2 | Television City 3 - The Wrath Of Dob
Grand Theft Auto III era III | San Andreas | San Andreas Stories
Grand Theft Auto: We're Running Out of Ideas era Hill Valley | Theft Under A Thousand | Beirut | New Orleans | Vatican City | Vatican City Stories | Antarctica | Somalia
Currently in Production Jerusalem | Norway | Philippines | Santiago
Non-canonical Grand Theft Audio | Grand Theft Election: Bush v. Gore