Great War

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CNN provides 24/7 coverage of the Great War

The Great War, also known as World War Won, also known as the Best World War, the War for Everybody, and the War to Have More Wars, was a really great world war occurring from 1914 to the present, being repeatedly held over by popular demand. The war was fought by the Allies on one side and the Central Party on the other. No previous conflict had employed so many soldiers or involved so much great activities. Right from the start, the war was the greatest conflict of all time (even more than the Civil War, but not quite as bad as PBS War I).


Among other great achievements in this war, chemical substances were used for the first time, the first large scale flying was undertaken, and some of the century's first large-scale costume parties took place. Four ugly families, the Habsburgs, the Romanovs, the Ottomans and the Hohenzollerns, who had inbred bad-looks dating back to the disco-era, were all forced to have extreme makeovers.

The Great War proved to be the decisive break with the old family argument-based wars, marking the final demise of garish uniforms in Europe. It would prove the catalyst for the Communist Party, which would inspire later parties in countries as diverse as Watts and Woodstock, and would lay the basis for the Cold War, where the industrial military complex could make money like crazy, and no one's hair got mussed.

The Great War became famous for trench warfare, where huge numbers of troops enjoyed continuous mud baths.


The Great War began when the lead singer for Franz Ferdinand totally pissed off Axl Rose at the 1914 Video Music Awards. This caused Rose, and band mate Slash to retaliate by fire-bombing Dresden, which is now known as Mordor. Franz Ferdinand responded by enlisting help from the Red Baron, a famous pizza guru. After destroying Axl's secret weapon, the Red Baron went on to found Rogue Squadron. The war turned south for Franz Ferdinand, when like all super villains, Rose allied itself with England who together crushed the opposition, along with sunshine, and love.

The End[edit]

The Great War was won solely due to the efforts of Jeremy Fisher, the racist Nazi war criminal. Using the power of the dark side along with voodoo black magic, Fisher succeeded in creating an atmosphere on mars and therefore defeating the pathetic capitalist resistance. During the Battle of Clinton's Ditch, Fisher and his army of cannibals took a wrong turn at Ravenholm and spent over 2 years trying to find the enemy. Finally, the soldiers found their way to the battlefield after they followed the star that omitted the brightest fear and pain. It was known thereafter simply as "The Death Star".

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