Grebel

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

The Grebel and his Facts: Grebel and his Dread Legion have a Dread Fortress underneath Colorado, praticulary under the corrupted area known as Denver. The Canadian Space Navy has been fighting a losing battle against the Dread Legion, but they are often to busy playing Oblivion and DDR to care. Grebel reproduces by tearing off his tentacles and letting them regrow into a full Grebel. The grown Grebel's are horrible disformed and are usually just put to work in the Corn Syrup Mines, mining the substance that is so vital to Grebel. Raptor Jesus hates Grebel, and his attack on the Dread Fortress will destroy the universe and every single dimension in existence, unfortunaetly. Raptor Jesus will win of course, Grebel's Dread Legion is recruited by takin a bunch of his little clone guys that aren't horribly disformed, then gives them lazer guns and lets them shoot each other, the survivor is then given some armor and stuff and goes off to sit there until Raptor Jesus comes to destroy them. Repeat until you have a legion. The Defense Against ExtraTerrestrials (DAET) also wants the head of Grebel, mainly because he's an alien but also because he's a high ranking officer in the Federal Department of Aliens, and the DAET could get some good information off him as well. He is known to play WoW and has a 70 Loladin with the name Grebel on the Server Dragonblight, several eyewitness accounts claim. Join the fight against the Grebel, and save our Dimensions, because we alone have the power to stop him before Raptor Jesus gets pissed off enough to assault him. On a side note,some reports claim that he has an alliance with Bob Dole, this is unconfirmed. The only true way to destroy this sneaky bastard without Raptor Jesus' help is to cut off his supply of Corn Syrup. While he does make his own, he recives the largest amounts through pipelines in his tunnels. There currently are 4, the French Pipeline, the Chinese Pipeline, the Brazilian Pipeline, and the Australian Pipeline if you happen to have any heritage or family in that country, you should be ashamed of yourself right now, so redeem yourself by doing this. He also has several thousand other extremely small pipelines that go to various countries, taking out at least half of these along with the four main pipelnes will be the first half of your victory. The second half involved contaminating or destroying his reserves of Corn Syrup. The first are the Corn Syrup vats in the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, CO. One those are spiked or destroyed, you must infiltrate the Dread Fortress itself. Once past the 50 curtain walls, you must then get inside the keep, this can be done efficiently by commisioning some Canadian Top Soil from the Canadian Space Navy in orbit. Once you have the soil, sprinkle it on the guards, they will fizzle and die. Then spike or destroy the private reserve vats in the room just off of Grebel's throne room. Plant a camera in the throne room and escape, then spend the next few days watching him shrivel up, in which case he will escape to another Corn Syrup rich galaxy and safely away from Raptor Jesus' caring range. Many aliens will die, but who gives a damn about some peace loving hippie aliens in some hippie galaxy anyway, not I. ---- Supreme Commander of DAET Forces

Approved by Kansas Board of Education
Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education
This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.