Green Berets

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A lean, mean, rocking machine!
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about United States Army Special Forces.

The Green Berets is a rockband of the American Army, which represents the soldier as he should be. However, with the interference of Gay fish Kanye West is now the groupleader. This caused major riots and now everyone inside the rockband is a gay fish. This all came to suprise of John Wayne. He was hoping to create an army female-friendly althought Clint Eastwoord quickly reverted the revision of John Wayne. The Green Berets were sent to Vietnam where they quickly developed a drug habit. This is generally presumed the reason why America won the Vietnam war.

When the Green Berets were sent out to the middle east, the quickly got high of all the surrounding mountains. Osama bin Laden was there tourguide, however the Green Berets never paid the fee. This caused Osama to involve the patriotic organisation Taliban. As of revenge of never paying the tour fee they have hijacked 4 tiny aircrafts to bring down the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. The fourth one was targeted at the basement of Chuck Norris but never made it as Supersonic Onslaught lasers shot it from the sky, causing it to crash in Pennsylvania.


Founded by His Royal Highness, Colonel Aaron Bunk, in 1952, when men were men, the Green Berets wore floppy hats, sunglasses, and tattoos, resembling members of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club. Their attire offended President John F. Kennedy (a dapper dresser), and he used his executive privilege to order that the troops wear a green beret with a pink ribbon and lavender lace. Kennedy wanted to set these elite forces apart from the pantywaists who were serving in the regular army.


The Green Berets are divided into three divisions; Drums, Guitar, Panflute.


Women are not allowed to join the prestigious band of the Green Berets. Ever. Training is said to be "grueling" or "worse than k. p." (kitchen police), and many trainees have broken nails or smudged their makeup (or greasepaint, as it is known in the Rock Band). It takes about 20 years for a trainee to qualify as a Green Beret, at which time he generally retires. Mr. T, of A-Team fame, claims to have been a Green Beret, as does Janet Reno, prior to her male-to-female sex change.

Only a handful of Hollywood's best have been allowed to portray the Green Berets, among whose ranks are:

The Green Berets' motto is "We fear no one (not even the Marines who jackoff all day and night to gay porn.), Cause we rock better anyway!"

See Also[edit]