Gundam

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The classic RX-78-2 Gundam

“I had a Gundam once. He was magnificent.”

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GUNDAM is an ancronym for Giant Unrealistic Nuclear Dams Armed Masterfully. Thought up by a silly Japanese who goes by the name of "Tomino" for world conquest using simple logic. A big GUN+a big DAM=GUNDAM; but instead of actual use, they thought it better to put it into absurd animes. This way captures peoples hearts and minds through stupidity. This is that story. This is GUNDAM.

The original Sexy Mobile Suit Gundam was an animated science-fiction series that debuted on Engrish television in 1979. It was unpopular and was promptly cancelled. Despite this, it managed to spawn a series of sequels, including nine television series, four video series, ten movies, a line of branded designer undergarments for transgendered males, and countless novels, comics, and original video game adventures that together comprise the uplifting Gundam saga. Among Japanese fans, the original TV series and its three-part movie adaptation are now fondly referred to as "Kidou Senshi (AKA 'Mobile Suit') Gundam: Original First Gundam, The Old Series", or KS(AKAMS)G:OFG:TOS for short(er).

Gundam was notable in that it was vastly different from the "super robot" shows of the time. The typical formula for a "super robot" show involved a boy becoming the pilot or controller of a flashy, heroic-looking robot built by his father, and using it to fight off the legions of monstrous, bizarre enemies which would surface in each new episode. By contrast, Gundam presented a serious, dramatic view of war, and the machines ("mobile suits") in the show represented this view with a very militaristic, utilitarian look, with minimal gimmicks. It was this fresh perspective on the robot show genre which led to the "Real Robot" genre.

Mobile Suit Gundam[edit]

Typical Gundam

Despite its name, Mobile Suit Gundam was the first Gundam series, and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. It takes place in the year 0079 of the Universal Century. It tells the story of the Earth Federation and their war against the Principality of Zeon. It follows its main character Amuro Ray, a young whiny boy whose home colony Side 7 is attacked at the start of the series. Then he ends up entering a prototype mobile suit known as the RX-78-2 Gundam, a mech which only he is able to pilot with no training or experience because he's the only one who read the instruction manual. From time to time, a masked pilot named CHAR! Aznable shows up to whoop Amuro's ass, despite the fact he uses a mobile suit that is special in no way other than it being painted pink light red.

There are three versions of the original Gundam series: The TV Series, the Movie Trilogy, and Extra Crispy.

In this, and a few other series, the two main opposing forces that fight with REALLY COOL EXPLOSION NOISES and BRUTAL aluminum foil twisting, in a vaguely World War II-like setting are:

  • THE EARTH FEDERATION:

- The "Allies" of Earth in the future that is heroic, but then goes crummily corrupt in later series

     VS.
  • THE PRINCIPALITY OF ZEON:

- The non-racist space nazis that want independence from the Earth's rule for no legit reason. Also, their rulers descended from some European family that no one knows about called the Wa-Zabi. To add to that, they're strangely a Duchy. (And I thought royal, fat-assed family systems wouldn't exist that far in the future.)


Notable characters of the series included:

Of THE EARTH FEDERATION:

  • York Cray - York is the leader of the Earth Federation. He was the founder of the weapon company York Industries and sells some the weapons it makes to the other members of the Earth Federation.
  • Amuro Ray - Amuro is a Newtype human. This means he has the unique ability to read instruction manuals. At the beginning, he has to hold his own with a giant top secret high-tech mecha of the Earth Federation military that was entrusted to him because as 15 year old child with no experience, he was best suited for such a task. Later, the Gundam gets improvements such as magnetic coating(mechanics can put fridge-magnets on the Gundam with which they can leave notes to remind themselves or other people to fix malfunctions. This has greatly improved the Gundam's capacities). Amuro was also the forerunner for the Emo culture, putting Emo into the minds and hearts of millions of Japanese children before the term even existed.
  • Sayla Mass - Sayla is in fact, not the sister of CHAR!. Whoever thinks that should watch the series again to notice how wrong it was to think she is CHAR!'s sister.
  • White Jesus - The rival of Black Jesus. They both try to attract as many Christians as possible. White is the captain of the "White Base" flagship where the Gundam is launched from. The others also call him Flashy Mohammed, Bleached Moses, Red Power-Ranger and Bright Noah. After a big fuss about what he should be called, the White Base crew decided on simply labelling him "Captain". Frustrated about this turn of events, he spends his time bitchslapping anyone that comes around.
  • Hayato Kobayashi - Hayato pilotes the Guntank. He's in need of an Atkins diet.
  • Kai Shiden - Kai pilotes the Guncannon, and just wants to get his damn pension. Also from Puerto Rico and can't speak English ["Hey padre, Quattro is a Char"]]
  • Ryu Jose - The first of 3 Islamist suicide bombers. He crashes a Boeing into SOI-EN002-Hamon, Lord of Striking Thunder.
  • Mathilda Ajan - The second of 3 Islamist suicide bombers. She pilots a Boeing into the Black Tri-Stars.
  • Sleggar Law - The third of the 3 Islamist suicide bombers. He pilots his Boeing into the Big Zam (look below for the definition of this Mobile Armor) ==>
  • Dr. Deranged - A once-intelligent former biochemist named Dr. Bob Miller, Dr. Deranged has the power to blast people with magic. He made a solution that he thought would increase bone density, but instead it made him 94% more stupid. He then earned the name "Dr. Deranged". Dr. Deranged always has to be supervised by York Cray.

==> The BIG ZAM is nothing more than a mutated, metallic, one-eyed, overgrown pistachio developed by the Zekes (nickname for the Zeon by the Feddies) of DOOM. By the way, they managed to stab TWO legs miraculously into that thang, and somehow, it was still able to walk without crushing any of the major cities (i.e. Kansas City) below its stubby toothpicks of feet.


Of THE PRINCIPALITY OF ZEON (remember, the non-racist space nazis)

  • CHAR! Aznable - CHAR! is Amuro's rival and a CHAR!acter with many CHAR!acteristics, such as having multiple names such as CHAR!mander, CHAR!meleon, CHAR!izard, CHAR!millionaire, CHAR!billionare CHAR!coal and other unnotable ones that no one really cares about. The real name of this CHAR!acter though, is Casval Rem Deikun, though he hides his true identity. The reason for this is that Casval Rem Deikun is not as cool looking as CHAR!. CHAR! has earned himself the nickname "Red Comet" by painting his mobile suits red. He's also known as the series' proverbial Leeroy Jenkins for his famed attack upon Jaburo in South America, the Earth Federation's Headquarters, and his leadership skills during the Battle of Seattle. He also possesses the unique ability of being a pedophile with CHAR!ming personality, his partners tend to go mad and become very very evil out of sexual frustration once he leaves them if they live long enough for it. Another CHAR!asteristic feature of CHAR!, is that everything he does is 3 times more awesome than anyone else doing it. For example if CHAR! CHAR!ges batteries, they become red and are henceforth called "CHAR! Custom batteries", CHAR!ge 3 times as fast and hold the CHAR!ge 3 times as long.With the three times faster thing going on, it struck an idea for him to start selling his customise item eg. Char custom cooking apron which make you cook three times faster etc...etc...However there is a few problems with his mechandise.It is three times the price and also spoilt three time faster.

Note:

CHAR! has become a famous actor nowadays, known for playing insignificant rival CHAR!acters [with his innumerable clone cousins] such as Zechs in Gundam Wing, Rau Le Creuset in Gundam SEED or Silver Crown in Gundam Wing: G-Unit, but has also taken roles outside of the Gundam universe such as Ken from Street Fighter, Pizza/Soldat J from King of Braves: GaoGaiGar, Proto Man from Mega Man and Mega Man Battle Network, Zero from Megaman Zero and Obi Wan in the last Star Wars movie, where he pilots a Jedi Starfighter with customized red color (this is actually true).

  • Lalah - Lalah grew up in Teletubbyhlandh together with Tinkyh Winkyh, Dipsyh and Poh where they served as prostitutehs for childrenh under 3 yearhs. That was until she was rescued by CHAR!, who let her work as prostitute for people over 3 years for the first time. As an Indian/Teletubby, Lalah can use the divine powers of Ganesha and grow multiple arms, allowing her to remote control multiple RC toys at once to confuse her enemies. She died at the hands of Amuro as he broke all her toys. They both got really horny and Lalah wanted him to stick his pole into her, which Amuro fatally misunderstood ultimately resulting in Lalah's tragic death.
  • Rambo Lol - Rambo was once a big-shot and a master of guerilla tactics. Unfortunately, he enlisted the Gorillaz instead of guerillas and they couldn't pilot mobile suits as well as he thought.
  • SOI-EN002-Hamon, Lord of Striking Thunder - Rambo's wife, and on the other hand, not his wife. Nobody knows about their relationship as she loves him but on the other hand, does not. Is killed on the 11th September as one of the Boeings crash into her.
  • The Black Tri-Stars - Sent by Black Jesus to destroy the White Base and assassinate White Jesus. They have came up with a great strategic killer move: The Jet Stream Attack. Instead of fighting one on one, they cheat by all ganging up on an enemy at once. This innovative way of combat made them nearly undefeatable. But as the battle drew on, it turned out that, you know, three guys who suck end up sucking three times as much as one guy who sucks. a lot.
  • Ma's Cube - He likes pots and oil. While Bush was busy capturing the oil in the middle east, Ma's Cube took over Odessa.

Zeta Gundam[edit]

The Zeta Gundam, featured in the ZZ Gundam TV show, exemplifies the gritty, realistic style which Gundam first applied to robot shows.

As anyone would be able to infer from its name, Zeta Gundam is the second Gundam series and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. It takes place in Universal Century 0087, which is Seven years after the end of the One Year War from the original series, and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. It follows young protagonist Kamille Bidan, a lovable, sweet young man who learned at a young age that he likes to yell at people and hit them.(He quickly learned, however, that other people like to hit him too). Kamille also hates his name; he would prefer to be called "Alf". As Kamille is a troubled youth, who soon loses his parents to the Titans(who are portrayed as evil and wear black but actually are just misunderstood), it is decided that he should be placed in the tender care of a rogue military group, where his great love for violence could be exploited for fun and profit. There he meets a mysterious pilot named Quattro Vagina, who despite being constantly mistaken by everyone who sees him as a CHAR!, though he's not a CHAR!.

Zeta Gundam's popularity was so great that a mere twenty years after its production, it was re-released, edited with over 10% new footage as a trilogy of movies. It is projected that one day, mankind will evolve beyond his corporeal form, into a fully enlightened being of pure energy, and leave the cradle of his species and his civilization forever, even as our ancient sun is finally extinguished. And on that day, Zeta Gundam will be reissued on DVD with new bonus features and a special bonus paperweight shaped like the bosom of Four Murasame.

Gundam ZZ Top[edit]

“Life like Gundam ZZ, Anime Ja Nai”

~ Oscar Wilde on life

Gundam ZZ Top is the third Gundam series and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. It takes place in UC 0088, seven days after the end of Zeta Gundam. It follows its main character Judo Ashita in his quest to steal the Zeta Gundam from the AEUG in order to sell it as scrap metal. After Judo has made several attempts at stealing the Zeta Gundam, AEUG officer Bright Noa(aka. White Jesus) randomly enlists Judo as the new pilot and offers to feed him as compensation for fighting in a war against the Neo Zeon forces. Over the course of the series, however, Judo demonstrates his unique skills in combat, pioneering such bold maneuvers as strapping fifty tons of high explosives to his mobile suit and asking his enemies to please not blow him up. Another unique feature of this Gundam series was a useful female character who doesn't die. And she, unlike many others manages to copy Amuro's amazing ability to read an instruction manual.

As per the name, ZZ Top was scheduled to appear in the second half of the series, in a shocking variation on the usual 'protagonist mecha gets upgraded' theme, but Tomino's plans were changed when he received permission to make CHAR!'s Counterattack. Tomino hastily designed the ZZ Gundam (using empty toilet rolls, cheerios and a semen-based adhesive) and removed all references to ZZ Top from the script in order to better link ZZ Top Gundam to Char's Counterattack. Fans claim that evidence of Tomino's stressed attempts to reschedule and rewrite ZZ Top Gundam can be found in the so called 'Moon Moon' arc of the show, which is thought to be even better than the rest of the series, probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans, twice in the same sub-article.

Elements of ZZ Top eventually resurfaced in popular 90's Rock-Opera, Macross 7, and in Tomino's own work 'Turn-A Gundam', where a similarly named 'Turn-X-Top' is seen, further linking the Turn-A era to the Universal Century. It is also speculated that Quattro Vagina's sunglasses were influenced by ZZ Top. The Turn-A's moustache is thought to be a in-joke for staff who worked on the ZZ Top Gundam's beard.

Also credit as pioneer of popular lolicon genre.

CHAR!'s Midlife Crisis[edit]

CHAR!'s Counter Attack is the first original Gundam movie, and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans; it takes place in UC 0093, four years after the end of Gundam ZZ. It finishes the rivalry between the original Gundam protagonists Amuro Ray, and his long time rival(but part time friend and drinking buddy) CHAR! Aznable (AKA Casval Rem Daikun, The Red Comet, Edward Mass, Quattro Vagina, and Amanda Hugandkiss). In the story, CHAR! has founded a new Neo Zeon movement called New Neo Zeon, so that he can crash a space colony loaded with nuclear weapons into the Earth in order to prevent humans from destroying Earth's fragile ecosystem(a perfect plan that has become a staple of Gundam). He also has a hidden agenda of forcing a conflict against Amuro who he's been pissed at for 13 years because Amuro stole his underaged girlfriend, killed her, and then continued going out with her ghost. Amuro opposes CHAR! in his new Gundam which is cleverly called the "Nu Gundam". At the climax of the film, as CHAR! is on the brink of his final defeat, he leaves the battlefield to make an appearance on The Muppet Show, where he sings a song about an inchworm as a class full of silhouetted obsessive-compulsive puppet students discuss arithmetic.

There was also a bunch of novels about White Jesus's (who has a moustache now) spawn, Hathaway, who changes his name to Mafty Osama Bin Erin and joins/founds a terrorist orginization to kill the White Jesus. Hathaway/Mafty/Osama/Jesus Junior also gets a Gundam (Shocking!!!) called the Ξ Gundam (More commonly known as the "Artist formerly known as Gundam."

Obviously, no one stands against White Jesus. Hathawaymaftyosamajuniorjesuspirateterroristguy is beaten by some white chick named Penelope, who may or may not shoot missiles out of her vagina, and is sentenced to death by the hand of jesus, more commonly known as "BrightSlap." It wasn't until after his death that White Jesus realized he had just brightslapped his own son, and in grief, brightslapped himself, which caused a chain reaction that destroyed the entire planet. The end.

Gundam 0080: Rocket In My Pocket[edit]

Gundam 0080 was the first series in which Gundam creator Yoshiyuki Tomino had no hand in creating. Because of this, it is considered by many to be one of the greatest Gundam series ever. The story follows a young child named Alfred "Hotpants" Izuruha, whose interest in war and wearing short shorts leads him to join the heroic Principality of Zeon to aid his comrade Zeon pilot Bernard Wiseman in his mission to capture or destroy the evil Earth Federation's prototype Gundam RX-78NT1. This prototype Gundam just so happens to be piloted by Al's old friend and next door neighbor, Christina Mackenzie. Since she is one of the hottest babes ever to be rendered in animation form, experts agree that the series would have been a lot better had she been given at least one gratuitous nude bathing scene (ala the White Base girls, Lyla Mira Lyla from Zeta, Kiki Rosita from 08th MS Team and many other Gundam females). This touching tale shows us the true nature of war, as once-naive, starry-eyed Al sees his friends and neighbors ruthlessly slaughtered by stray fire as giant robots fight above his hometown, his best friend roasted until he popped, leaving only a small pile of smoldering, foul-smelling bloody meat, and in the end, Al sheds a tear to express his great sadness that the fun adventure had to come to an end.

Gundam 0083: Stardust Memory[edit]

Gundam on the cover of Time magazine

Gundam 0083 takes place in UC 0083, in between the One Year War from the original Gundam series and the Gryps Conflict from Zeta Gundam, and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. Its premise combines the typical "inexperienced pilot is faced with an attack and enters a Gundam" plotline, with the also typical "person from an enemy faction steals a new prototype Gundam" plotline. It is this clever plot development which has led many to hail 0083 not only as the best Gundam series, but actually the single most inspired piece of storytelling ever committed to the great medium of videotape.

  • Kool Ur-A-Gay - Kool is the best Gundam pilot ever, his mad skills easily distinguishing him from the other mediocre pilots such as Amuro, Heero, Kira and the Mighty Shockwave. In fact, Kool has never lost although everybody knows that carrots are his one major weakness, if you offer Kool a carrot, he will go emo and instantly commit suicide. Wished that his Gundam has magic so that he can save everyone from Operation Stardust
  • Analvel "Kamikaze" Gato - Analvel is the best Gundam pilot ever, he captured the Federation;s GP02A and had multiple clashes with Kool. In fact, he fought to a draw with Kool on many occasions until he decided that life was too boring and rammed his new mobile armor Nahh Ziel into a Salami-class sandwich.
  • Cheena Grawlhaul - Cheena is the best Gundam pilot ever, she managed to double deal with Anaheim Electronics and got herself a brand new Gundam. Unfortunately, it looked like a giant Zeon mosquito by the time it rolled out from the production line. Little is known about her but what we know is that she died a heroic death.
  • Nina "MY GUNDAMS!!!" Purpleton - Nina Purpleton owns all the Gundams because she is loosely referred to as a designer of some models. She treats them as her children and has hot loving with them in her free time, and they are all her Gundams. What only few know, is that every single Gundam of all Gundam series belong to her. Damaging them will result in her going psycho and immediately eradicating anything that harms her dear Gundams and purge them into a fate worse than death, which explains why people tend to win when piloting a Gundam, which belongs to her.
  • Chuck Norris Keith - Chuck is the best Gundam pilot ever, his mad skills easily distinguishing him from the other mediocre side characters such as Camille, Judau, Athrun and the Maximals from Least Wars which is why his name is "Chuck Norris" Keith. Feels attracted to women that are larger, stronger and hairier than himself.
  • South Burning - Named after a disease he has which causes him to feel a constant burning pain in the "south" area.
  • Dick Allen - Friends with Kool and Chuck. His early demise during an unfortunate scuffle with a Dom Tropen in his SUPER-POWERED GM resulted in him being a complete dick. Kool had to clear his personal effects or trash because no one wanted them.

Gundam F91[edit]

Gundam F91 is a TV series that takes place in UC 0123, thirty years after Char's Counterattack, and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. It was originally planned as a 52 episode series, however, in preproduction it was knocked down to 26 episodes, then knocked down to 13 OVAs, upped to 151 TV episodes, knocked down to 6 OVAs and then knocked up: nine months later it gave birth to one 118 minute movie. This constant format change is said to have been caused by a large consumption of illicit drugs at Studio Sunrise. Because of the constant change in the run time, the movie itself is a complete mess that is impossible to understand. The movie ends with protagonist Seabook Arno defeating Kurt Angle in the Daytona 500 race with his Formula 91 racecar. He celebrates his victory by drinking a bottle of milk, and then he douses himself with gasoline and lights himself on fire, dying in the process. Many fans see this puzzling final scene as a tribute to Thích Quảng Đức; immolation, after all, is the sincerest form of flattery.

In an interview held at Anime Expo New York, Tomino revealed that the inspiration for F91 came to him while he was watching an episode of Sesame Street in which Mr. Hooper engineered a mechanized army of flying robots designed to eliminate all Muppet life. This story inspired Tomino to devise his own story with some slight similarities to that episode. Even the name, "F91", came from the show, as the episode was sponsored by the letter F and the number 91.

Victory Gundam[edit]

Victory Gundam is a TV series that takes place in UC 0153, thirty years after Gundam F91 and is regarded as the best by Gundam fans, though this is strictly conjecture; little is actually known about Victory Gundam because it was extremely unpopular--in fact, it was so unpopular that to this day, no one has actually ever seen an episode of V Gundam. Despite this setback, anime researchers studying the scant information on the beast known as Victory Gundam from fossil records have reached this conclusion: the show is believed to have featured a young boy as the pilot of some type of machine, who at some point fights in some sort of conflict. It is also believed that the young boy was ultimately successful in his struggle.

It is also known that the series creator, Tomino "The Ripper" Yoshiyuki, was forced by the evil puppetmasters of Bandai to assemble and hand-paint every Gundam toy which went on the market. As a result, he fell into a state of deep depression and began to script increasingly bloody death scenes for all his characters, culminating in the final episode where the Victory Gundam explodes, killing the remaining cast and destroying the universe.

Mobile Suit Gundam: 08th MS Team[edit]

08th MS Team is a TV series which features a main character by the name of Shiro Amada, a young man who joined the Earth Federation to get revenge on the Principality of Zeon for gassing his family in their Holocaust-like purges, and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. At the end of the series, he ditches his fellow soldiers and leaves the Earth Federation forces to get with a hot Zeon babe while compensating for a missing limb. 08th MS Team shows that Gundam isn't all about flashy firefights - the giant 80-ton festively-colored mobile suits in this show are very stealthy as they stomp around in the jungle.

It is also notorious for showing that the Japanese like Shiro want to rape lolicons like Kiki.

Gundam WeeD[edit]

This Gundam series is a retelling of the Bible for the 21st century, featuring Kira "Zeus" Yamato (an emo kid, who crossdresses in the closet and have gay sex with is best friend Athrun) and his ambiguously platonic main squeeze Lacus Clyne, who do their best (including massive pwning) to bring peace to the world, joined by Kira's androgynous sister who probably is a lesbian, Cagalli Yula Athha, and her equally homosexual on-off boyfriend, Athrun Zala (and former boyfriend Fox McCloud). As a result, it is considered by many Gundam fans to be the worst Gundam series ever. However, Gundam fangirls still consider it the best Gundam series ever.

Kira Yamato in his Mobile Suit Gundam: Strike Freedom. Note the mad tech specs on this model

One of the highlights of the show is that it has the never-before-seen sequence of Gundams being stolen, as well as these being piloted by young kids, in addition to an (horrors! Hide the children's eyes!) ambiguous sex scene, images of handguns, and underage porn. Yamato (who is often called "Zeus" for reasons unconfirmed by the show's creators - someone will say "Hey, Zeus!" and Yamato will turn around) first endures the trials of the war, desperately trying to protect those he loves while equipped with his only moderately mighty Gundam. Also every person he meets sports a different color hair selected at random from a 128 Crayola Crayon box.

In an interview, the show's director Hiroaki Fukuda said that many of the creative decisions that led to Gundam WeeD were taken from his personal life. When he was racked with guilt over his solicitation of underaged prostitutes, he came up with the name "Gundam Sin". However, that ultimately had to change, as the title would be unacceptable in America, so Fukuda tried variations of the prostitute idea and came up with "Gundam WeeD". Fukuda dealt with his guilt by becoming a chain smoker, which led to "Gundam Ashtray", involving a complex storyline and an imaginative new robot design. However, staff for the show, frustrated with Fukuda's behavior, soon left the project, demanding better treatment for their return. This led to a new concept robot for the show, called "Strike Gundam". The loss of these valuable staff members forced Fukuda to draw heavily from other Gundam stories and rely on his wife to develop the show's concept.

Besides Newtypes, there are some people who possess something called "SEED". Due to the look and attitude of those who use it, it's widely believed that in reality "SEED" is common Engrish and they meant to name it "WEED"(of course the makers of this show were on it) instead. This belief is strengthened by the title of the next in the story, titled "Stargazer", as well as the inclusion of a bong-shaped attachment that turns the lead robot of the second season into the "Stoner Implulse Gundam".

Some Whales point out that Gundam WEED might be a tribute to Princess Nevada, as one of most memorable scenes has a mobile suit stab another in the neck with box-cutter.

Gundam WEED Ash Tray[edit]

A Side story mango series which is placed along side WEED. It follows the efforts of Lowe "High Gear" Guele and a bunch of junk collecters and their Ash Tray Red Frame Gundam, which carries a HUEG SWORD with it, and Gai and the Snake's Head group, which have a similar Ash Tray Gundam, only it's BLUE, and has a PATRIOTIC COWBOY HAT head. Fans generally agree that the Ash Tray series is over 9000 times better than the main WEED series, but do not admit it for fear of angering Zeus Yamato.

Gundam WEED Destiny Zeta[edit]

(aka Gundam WEED Density, due to the dense lead characters.)

Picking up where Gundam WEED (see above) left off, this series heavily focus on the studies of diseases, especially eye diseases and is also regarded as the worst by Gundam fans after Gundam SEED's failure.

It features a new protagonist, Shinn "AAAAA!" Asuka, another emo kid who has trouble controlling his emotions and hence relies heavily on his inner "WEED" to get by. He is also the only known subject to ever suffer from the Rare "Red Eye Disease", making him fall in love with innocent girls wearing skimpy clothes. Like Kira and Athrun he too has a girl shaped body. The plot revolves around the Phantom Limb squadron, a force of the Earth Alliance which is also a part of Blue Cosmos which is actually just a front organization for a cabal of uber-rich capitalists called Logos who profit off of war and control the Earth Alliance exploiting cultural backwardness and hatred for coordinators. This Logos is controlled by a psychotic she-male, Lord Djibril, who is the most notorious and vicious of all Logos. So anyways, the PLANTS (hourglass-like space station things) deploy their new l33t battleship Minervus to chase down Phantom Limb. This is interrupted when random terrorist coordinators force the old PLANT to crash into earth, sparking a new war between the Earth Alliance and PLANTS. The Earth Alliance Atlantic Federation (representing the American Empire) makes unreasonable demands, saying that if the PLANTS don't remove themselves from power they will be removed because they are a threat. Also like the American Empire, the Earth Alliance forces other, nuetral countries of the alliance to join them in their holy crusade. But it is later revealed that the Earth Alliance is not the only force of evil, Chairman Glibert Durandal later reveals his mechanical plans after eliminating the Logos capitalists to implement "Destiny Plan", another idealistic and hopeless plan to make a rationally-ordered society for the PLANTS and Earth and ending war by killing anyone who disagrees with it. This is a major twist as halfway though the story, the evil capitalists / neo-racists and their puppet governments and are replaced by crazy a intellectual and millions of brainwashed people.

The technology of Gundam WEED Destiny involves the standard Mobile Suit, the Mobile Armor, the Mobile Fighter and the Mobile Ship. Basically, a few big space robots can dominate swarms of other vehicles like tanks and airplanes with their light sabers.

The love story is more complex than in the original Gundam WEED. Shinn falls in love with Stellar Loussier, an enemy Gundam pilot, ala Romeo and Juliet, who appears to be suffering from Alzheimer's Disease, ala 50 First Dates. She dies in his arms and he swears revenge on her killer, ala almost every sappy revenge story out there. But then he forgets about her and falls in love with Luna overnight. Another of his secret love interests(SHHHHH!) is his sexchanged roommate, Rey Za Burel. Kind of interesting, really... the girl-changed-to-a-boy-with-girly-hormones-still Rey, constantly supports and takes care of Shinn(both physically and mentally). And Shinn obviously doesn't care whether or not he's sleeping with a girl in a boy's body.

Another interesting thing about this Rey Za Burel is his urges for Gilbert Durandal. (To quote... "GIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLBEEEEEERRRRRRRTTT!" girly shriek) Obviously, this misunderstood teen is having problems coping as a guy and still deviates to his girly hormones. Other known subjects of rare eye diseases also include Athrun "Green Eyes" Zala, who is widely accepted to be a wizard, and his good friend Kira "Zeus" Yamato, who suffers from a varation of this, "purple eyes", causing him and Athrun to be visually impared, mistaking each other's lovers and ending up in bed with the wrong girlfriends...including Kira sleeping with his sister and sometime Athrun.

The Fate-ful ending.

The plot of this story again centers on Kira "Zeus" Yamato and his friends saving the Earth (and the weird hourglass shaped thingies) from WORLD DOMINATION by an idealistic Chairman who hopes to end all future wars (wait - doesn't this make Yamato and gang the villains?) and ensure peace and prosperity for all, by killing lots of people needlessly, like TRUE heroes! (read "war" as "the ability to continue this stupid series for another go at it").

Despite Kira Yamato and Athrun Zala being PWNED by Shinn 'AAAAA' Asuka who is actually a Baltan in disguise, they survive 'miraculously' (actually haxing the anime, but shhhh) and defeat the Chairman and Asuka (but not actually killing them) in the final episode, ensuring that more wars and killings will occur and paving the way for the domination of Lacus Clyne as well as the next Bandai Gundam series so they can sell more crap.

Gundam WEED Stargazer C.E. 73[edit]

"Gundam WEED Stargazer The Series Super Mobile Suit Sunshine C.E. 7.3 Movie Film for Internets" Is an epic, 3 hour long movie, that almost every fan, who considers this the best Gundam production ever, did complain how very very long this series movie is. And it was long. Way too long. In fact, it was so long that this website can't encompass how sheerly completely epically long this production was. It featured Phantom Limb pilots Sven Cal Bang Bang Byangangang, who piloted Strike Noir, a.k.a. Gundam "Neo". Scams Token-palooza, who pilots Remold Buster. And MIUDE! (a.k.a. Skimpy McBigtits) Pilot of "Bullet Bait Bloo Dool" a.k.a. "Armor Clusterfuck Gundam". It involves hours and hours on neverending action, including the appearance of a new orginization, the DSSIEDFDSED, a peaceful group who manages to have "Gundam Stargazer", which is designed to have an AI Unit installed. However, about 2 1/2 hours into this movie series, Phantom Limb attacks DSSIEDFDSED, and tries to steal the AI Unit. The ultimate outcome of this movie is as of yet, not known, as this was such a long series...we mean movie...well, series movie, that every one who watched it fell asleep before they could find out what ultimately happened.

Public Opinion[edit]

This sequel is considered to be the best C.E. timeline (WeeD, etc) Gundam by the U.C. timeline (Mobile Suit Gundam, Zeta Gundam, etc) Gundam fans and the worse C.E. timeline Gundam by C.E. timeline Gundam fans.

The U.C. Gundam fans give the following reasons for their selection:

  • The main character is not a god but instead Jesus.
  • The main character receives more character development within 45 minutes than Shinn did in the entire Gundam WeeD Destiny series.
  • It is not clear who is good and who is bad.
  • The main character's friends die.
  • The different sides are not portrayed as being stereotypically good or bad.
  • It is short and sweet.
  • There are no childish big-eyed female characters.
  • The 2 female characters portrayed are not childish and big-eyed.
  • There is no KIRA! and ATHRUN! and SHINN! and LUNA! and ETC!
  • There are very few half-a-second poses.
  • Lack of hotness and nudity of random female characters. Zomg.

no winey like bitchs U.C. Gundam fans' reason as to why this is only the best of the C.E. timeline and not of all Gundam timelines:


The C.E. Gundam fans give the follwing reason for their condamnation:

  • The main character is not a god but Jesus.
  • The main character receives more character development within 45 minutes than Shinn did in the entire Gundam WeeD Destiny series.
  • It is not clear who is good and who is bad.
  • The main character's friends die.
  • The different sides are not portrayed as being stereotypically good or bad.
  • It is short and bitter.
  • There are no childish big-eyed female characters.
  • The 2 female characters portrayed are not childish and big-eyed.
  • There is no KIRA! and ATHRUN! and SHINN! and LUNA! and ETC!
  • There are very few half-a-second poses.
  • Lack of hotness and nudity of random female characters. Zomg.

C.E. Gundam fans' reason as to why this is only the worse of the C.E. timeline and not of all Gundam timelines:

Gundam Wing[edit]

Gundam Wing (also known as Gun-damn Wing in Europe) is an alternate universe version of the Gundam series and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. After the huge success of Gundam WEED, Gundam AIDS, Gundam Trashmetal & Gundam Fried Cucumber with Rice, the creators decided on to trash all of the previously created characters, and decided to set the whole story during World War II with Zechs as a modern form of Stalin, and Trieze as a modern form of Fritz Barbarossa. The main characters were:

  • Heero - A goth poser kid. The creators originally wanted to name him Hero, but that just shows Japanese people don't know English, and they mistranslated him back to Hero from kanjis, so he became Heero, which is pretty much the same as Hero only with the difference of the e letter. It's really important since in most of the Engrish words, there's usually more than just one mistakenly written down letter (for example Char Anzablabla is once written down as Duplo Vagina). His favorite hobby is self detonating his Gundam. Luckily, his clothes are completely indestructible as they, like his mobile suit, are made from Gundanium. No matter how many times he self detonates, they never rip, wrinkle, or even get scratched. Additionally, being the goth poser he is, he likes to say "I will kill you" to people's faces, but never actually makes an effort to kill them, even if he is pointing a loaded gun at them. It is his goth poser way of saying "I want to do you." He is still a virgin to this very day. At the end of Endless Waltz his Gundam's double barrel cum cannon backfired and killed the Gundam but he survived the subsequent 9000 degree temprature and 10 mile fall plus add the other 10 miles he had to fall underground in enough time to shoot a defenseless little girl and kill her with a gun that had no bullets. Add all of this up and you end up with one bad ass motherfucker.
  • Duo - A kid on amphetamines. He also wants to be a goth, and make out with gals. In Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz, he upgraded his Gundam Deathscythe Hell Custom Ultimate X Premium Omega with a weedwhacker, replacing the previously used barber scissors. His famous quote is "Blah blah blah, I'm the god of DEATH, BLAH BLAH!!" which means, "I wanna be cool, but I'm still a whiney jackass with a girly pigtail & a stupid truck driver cap."
  • Quatre - The only existing gypsy with blond hair, and blue eyes. He also was in a lot of homosexual manga porn artworks as a model. It's really noticeable that he's the only character from the series who looks like a woman, despite the fact he's a tranny. His friends include Omar Shamir, Amir Farad, Omar Santana, Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Toe the Cammel and Einsatz the Gay.
  • Trowa - An emo kid from the last century, he's the founder of Tokyo Hotel. He enjoys spending his time with performing suicide dives in front of the crowd at the Circus, since MySpace didn't exist yet, so there were no place for public self-pity, other than Circus Maximus. Trowa knows his best friend Dumbo from there.
  • Wu Fei - Angry anarchistic punk kid who thinks of his Gundam as his girlfriend. His mother didn't let him go to a Fuck the Police concert, which made him angry and he hates women because of it.
  • Relena - A hippie, the creators originally wanted her for Gundam WEED, but after they realised there's no such series, they put her into this one. Her father is well known for making the organizing works for the yearly Woodstock festival for the communes colonies, but then he got killed by Quistis Trepe of Final Fantasy 8. She has the hots for Heero and constantly wants him to come and "kill" her. She also very observant because she asks questions like "Those are missiles aren't they?" or "That's a gun right? Are you going to shoot me Heero?"
  • Zechs - He wears a mask and is rumored to be Heero's secret man lover. Nothing is certain, because it's a secret only they know. It is rumoured that he is in fact a trans-dimensional being known as a CHAR!, but this theory remains unsupported.

The story plot is as follows: Stalin & Barbarossa wanna destroy everything, Relena smokes weed, then the main characters realize they should spend their free time not committing suicide, but killing other people. This turned them from emos, into gothic industrial heroes, while they explored the newly made synthetic drug called the Zero System(which, incidentally, is also the name of a Progressive Industrial Polka Band from Iraq). There is also a sequel where a 10 year old girl decides to destroy the world, but (BEWARE, IT'S SPOILER IT CAN BURN YOUR TOES!!!) she fails even without having Chuck Norris in the movie. At the end, everyone destroys their Gundams, since they realize they don't want to be part of another sequel with a meaningless story. This is why the creators started to search for other characters: Gundam Wing: Polka Forever is confirmed, and will be in theaters soon, with main characters like the members of Funeral For A Friend, and of course, the lost daughter of Jim Morrison. Another sequel Salsa todos los tiempos is rumored to be in the planning stages.

G Gundam[edit]

Some fans question G Gundam's status as a legitimate Gundam series, since it more easily falls into the Super Robot category because of the abilities of the robots to split up and combine into different forms, and the characters(listed below) are equally over-the-top. However, most Gundam fans take these factors as proof that G Gundam is indeed the best Gundam series ever. (These fans are not to be trusted, and if encountered, you should stick your fingers in your ears and yell "GUNDAM IS ONLY ABOUT THE SERIOUS TRAGEDIES OF WAR! I HAVE NO SON!") This is also the favorite Gundam series of those with a latex fetish--especially gay ones. Though Rain and Allenby are hot...sort of...okay anyways:

G Gundam is the story of a man named Dumbass Cashew--renamed from the original Dumbaß for the American version due to lack of fonts for rendering the German ß, which was the producers' favorite letter. Dumbass roams the world searching for his brother by going up to random people and sticking an old photograph in their face while shouting "Have you seen this man?!" Before they can answer the question, he strips naked, gets into a skintight latex bodysuit, and commands his Gundam to shove its Burning Finger up their ass. Listed below are people Dumbass faced in combat, as well as the other people in the show, whenever the editors get around to writing something funny, and not stupid.

  • Chibodee Crotchface - A shockingly accurate depiction of the average American, Chibodee Crotchface grew up on the mean streets of New York, where a tragic ear-biting incident by a group of clowns dressed as terrorists led him on the road to boxing. Also, his parents died. As a Gundam Fighter, Chibodee bravely hides behind a team of five robo-bitches who he declares are "all the protection he needs", and greets everyone with "Howdy!" His Gundam is a giant football player with boxing gloves, revolvers, a surfboard, a banjo, and a potbelly. In fact, the only thing missing is a cowboy hat.
  • Jorge de Frenchman - His first name is actually pronounced 'George', but then, the Japanese are worse at French than they are at English. Dumbass comes to Jorge's castle in search of his brother, interrupting his match with the light-footed Castro Gundam, hailing from Neo San Francisco. His signature moves are throwing roses at his enemies(that'll work) and prompt surrender.
  • Sai Saichi: Some Shaolin kid. He wants to win to rebuild his Shaolin temple(which he was responsible for destroying with fireworks). Accompanied by two pedo-monks. Dumbass promptly kicked him in the face and that was that last we heard about that jerk for several episodes.
  • Argo Naught: In Neo Russia, Gundam pilots you!
Master Asia is tripping balls!
  • Master Asia: Master Asia, alias Super Asia, alias Jesus, alias Chuck Norris is the ultimate master of simply everything, giving him a state of art ability to ignore the rules of physics. Not only is he Dumbass' teacher, but he also tried to kill Justin Timberlake for the King of Hearts title (but only left him emotional scars, which explained his breakups with Britney Spears and Cameron Diaz) and taught all the other people from Dragonball how to fight. Master Asia abused Dumbass by thrusting his hands into fires, throwing him off mountains, and cheating at the King of Iron Fist tournament(supposedly all training). Betrays Dumbass to have hot loving with the Devil Gundam. Also, he's dying, so he takes Mary Jane as treatment. With the ability to make fire appear out of nowhere, spread communism ("the East is burning red") and as mentioned before to ignore any type of physics, Master Asia's intentions are enigmatic and deep, though some might say he just randomly kicks anybody's ass that get in his way. His achievements include walking over water, turning water into wine, dividing the seas and leading 300 Spartans into a hopeless battle after feeding them with some fish and bread.
  • Rain un Maparade: Dumbass' "girlfriend" and Annie Lennox's loathed cousin, who inspired her to create a song called "Here Comes Rain Again." She's too dumb to realize she's in an abusive relationship, what with the abandonment, neglect, and drinking. Dumbass has probably smacked her around a bit and had countless orgasms with her. In fact, as soon as she got rescued by Dumbass in the final episode, Dumbass felt like he was "in heaven" as he felt Rain's boobs in his chest while hugging her naked body, and the only way the two defeated the Devil Gundam is by having sex in its sight. Also, you have to love her camel toe, while she transrapes herself into her battlesuit.
  • Allenby Beardsly: A girl(seriously!), Dumbass has no issues beating the bejesus out of her. Attracted to Dumbass, despite numerous beatings. Her Gundam is a giant robot version of Sailor Moon.
  • The Shuffle Alliance (code name: In-Sync): originally consisted of Justin "Sexyback" Timberwolf (King of Hearts), JC So-Gay ("Queen" of Spades), Lance Soprano (Jack-off Diamonds, which classified him as a fag), Chris Jerkpatrick (Ace of Clubs), and Joey the Fat One (Black Joker), these 5 dudes use their superior "fighting" (singing and dancing) techniques to maintain order and peace in the world at the same time piloting giant metallic pretty boy replicas of themselves.
The original Shuffle Alliance

Turn A Gundam[edit]

This is another story by "Kill 'em All" Tomino (Although only 6 named people died), and his last. This is the first time a Hindu has ever piloted the Gundam; in fact, this is the ONLY time. As the deadly Moonlight Butterfly ate up all the technology of Earth(and reverted life back to the medieval age), the Earthrace, as it was called, is helpless against the still high-technology Moonrace. Or almost helpless, as some deported Moonie named Loran Cehack discovers a Gundam hidden inside the Statue of Liberty, and life for the Moonrace, as we knew it, became hard for them until they declared financial bankruptcy.

Ironically, the Gundam known as Turn-Ass has the Moonlight Butterfly Technology that fried the hyperfuturistic world as you know it, and is mankind's only hope against some OBL-like figure named Gym Gymniham who runs, true enough, a fitness gym in a Moonrace city named after himself.

Also, it was stated that all the other Gundam worlds were connected by some now-discredited theory called the Big Crunch theory, and that proponent, later to be revealed as Tomino himself, hinted that all Gundam series are previous history of the Turn-Ass Gundam series.

Although it was on par with older series like Zeta, rednecks screamed of PC-ness, as the protagonist's ethnic backgound shows. Turn-Ass fans were derided as 'Moonracists'. Also, it was later revealed that Loran was actually a girl and his/her voice actor was a North Korean agent with the name of Park Romi. This explains why it wasn't, and would never be available in Engrish in America.

Feats

  • Real ammunition cannot damage its armour
  • Beam weapons are deflected by its I-field
  • Can teleport
  • Can warp its attacks (can warp a beam shot directly INTO a cockpit)
  • Beam rifle at maximum power is stronger than a colony laser
  • Regeneration
  • The Moonlight Butterfly that destroyed Earth's civilization was at 20% power
  • System Turn A's chest's multipurpose silo can summon weapons (it can only "summon" stuff from Earth, and apparently it can only be done with special devices made specifically for the Turn A.)
  • The Moonlight Butterfly at 100% output can cover everything from Earth to Jupiter
  • The teleportation system makes it possible for, as long as there are nanomachines available at all, regenerate everything entirely, including the pilot (Teleportation system apparently "saves" the status of the machine and everything in it and sends it somewhere. The nanomachines can use that data to regenerate everything (it just takes ages, depending on how much needs to be regenerated; Complete regeneration of everything is said to take thousands of years))
  • The Turn Series uses DG cell technology. (this means they can be destroyed with love)
  • They're actually meant for newtypes to pilot, as they were created by the newtypes for interstellar war.
  • The Turn A's hands are so sensitive they can be used to pick up a regular human-sized bucket of water.
  • Tthe Kylas Gilly or however you spell it (the thing from V Gundam) can't even scratch the Turn A, and the Turn X Top can take control of it remotely (Turn A probably can too).
  • Turn A's power source is two "縮退炉" ("degeneracy engines"). It is run by degenerates.
  • The I-field beam drive system creates a film of particles over the surface of the machine and moves the parts (hence the lack of any need for motors and shit inside).
  • Can wash clothes
  • Can still lose to plothax

Gundam X (The Abridged Series)[edit]

Little is known of this series, except this is a hentai series about a guy named Garrod Ran and a mysterious girl named Tifa Lockheart Adil. Working like a bad fanfic, the series shows what would happen if everything went apeshit and colonies were slammed into earth(The answer: bad things). and now Garrod, Tiffa, and some vultures (or something like that) are forced to survive this post-apocalyptic world, poor ratings, and the early cancellation of the show. Although fan reaction of this series were mostly negative, some consider it the best Gundam series ever. Gundams featured include the title mech Gundam X, along with Virsago(the purported son of Gundam Epyon and Gundam Nataku), Leopard, a blatant Heavyarms clone(many had speculated that Roybea 'Roabea Roybie Roabii' Loy, the guy who piloted this robot stole the remains of the Heavyarms after it was destroyed), Airmaster(which, y'know, fights in the air), along with Ashtaron and Gundam Quadruple-X, built by those UNE bastards because they think what the best method to avoid a new war is creating a mobile suit even more powerful than those that ruined the earth in the first place.

Because Escaflowne and Evangelion were being aired at the time, Gundam X suffered low ratings, and until today, it was only available in Jesusland.

Gundam 00[edit]

A.D. 2307 the world is divided between three great superpowers, and a delicate balance of power is maintained with the orbital elevators that each superpower possesses. War is still common, and the private military group Celestial Being seeks to start an all out war with the three superpowers through the armed intervention with pretty boys piloting mobile suits called Gundam on their military base.

Little is known about this series either, except that involves another typical Gundam jack done by a Kurdish religious fanatic, Setsuna F. Seiei(also know as Setsuna Fucking Seiei), who is a member of a holier-than-thou peaceful war-mongering terrorist group of peace-keepers known as Celestial Being. Many fans consider this to be the best Gundam, until Rosie O'Gundam was released.

At the end of the first season the show's policy is "If you ain't dead then your a pussy".

Factions in the first season:

1) The American Empire/Union In the future, the United States annexes all of South America, Latin America and Canada to form the Union of Solar Energy and Free Nations/Trade. Notable technology is the Flag fighter and aircraft carriers.

2) The Humane Reform League A mixture of Asian countries and east European countries in a Soviet-esque fashion, they control one orbital elevator. They appear to be more socialist and militarist than the other three nations. Their goals are to reform humanity in a humane way. They are the most advanced faction with a space colony, a large space fleet and Mobile Suit Tieran Tousi.

3) Advanced European Union In the future, the Eurpoean Union becomes "advanced". Standard European social market model is applied to all of Europe. They are also the least technologically advanced and most stagnant of the three superpowers. The culture is perverted enough to produce the likes of Patrick Colasour, and Enact mobile suit fighters.

Confirmed characters include the following:

Setsuna Fucking Seiei - Typical protagonist. Joined Celestial Being. Holier-than-thou peaceful war-mongering terrorist peace-keeper that pilots a Gundam revolving purely around cutting himself with its three gigantic vibrating switchblades and four beam saber. Walking around and start to tell people about his identity,which is a Class "S" rank secret. His long-time wish of becoming a Gundam has finally been granted (He IS Gundam). It is believed that he killed his parent or relative to join a stupid group of terrorists who worship Kira "Zeus" Yamato. Possibly a pimp who tried to get a useless princess as his mummy. Goes emo when hot-yet-crazy girls randomly kiss him while showing no sign of any interest in kissing only. It was also thanks to this incident where he developed the "falcon punch" technique that pwns Neena Trinity all hot-yet-crazy girls. When his Gundam gets high, it can turn red and go VSHOOM! This is due to CHAR! building the Gundam, making it 3 times faster than before, but making it 3 times more likely to cut itself. His Gundam is Ex-Shi'ia.

Lockon Stratos - Typical handsome long haired guy. 24 year old player. PSN and Xbox Live ID is [n00b]lockonSNIPER. Refers to himself in third person. Likes to use the word 'lock-on' all the time, especially when doing it. Catch-phrases include "Lock-on is locking-on!", and most commonly uttered when catching sight of his next 'target'. Also prone to forgetting that he is not some 1337 CS player, and will yell 'BOOM HEADSHOT!!!' after a successful snipe. His unfornate death was predicted by some whippersnappers stating by yelling that he would die for being over 20 years old. Likes 14 yr old girls...a LOT! He has a robot called Haro which helped him to pilot his Gundam in the maneuver since he is a noob in doing that. His Haro is very good in getting girls with it's cuteness(which make guys irritated by repeating the same phrase twice), not to mention that it has it's own harem which consisted mainly with it's incest with fellow Haros. Unable to become Gundam because he's Irish. His Gundam is Dynapack, which has the powerful ability to take out it's guns and act like 50 Cent.

Allelujah Paptism - Typical handsome long haired emo boy. He's a 19 year old Christian fanatic. Joined Celestial Being to 'save' people, especially from themselves. Prone to committing random acts of violence against people of all religions when his other personality came out. Had killed most of his own race in the name of Veda and is going to die because his Gundam is orange. Suspected to have slept with Sumeragi-san after a drink during the day he turned 20, therefore cheating on his even more emo boyfriend Setsuna. Possible mother complex. Also believes that his split personality may be White Jesus. His Gundam is Carry-Os. It's special ability is raping other giant robots with it's long, hard "blade" mounted on his left arm.

Tieria "The Trap" Erde - Typical purple-haired gay. His age is unknown. It is speculated that he was a victim of 'child abuse' in KIRA! and Lacus's Orphanage for Pretty Children. Is going to die because he is a trap. Like Setsuna, Tieria wanted to become a Gundam but sadly he can't due to his ability to make his own Gundam strip in front of the enemy. He has a girls face & wears pink so he might be a girl trap in a shell of a man like his gundam. Rumored to have a large crush on that Irish dude, Lockon, but could not fuck him as he only likes 14-year-old girls. After Lockon's death, Tieria desperately searches for his body, and found it. he hid the body in his room, where he could privately masturbate over him when he is alone. Looks extremely feminine and is probably a sex-changed girl (Well, either that or he is the gayest looking bastard ever). Pilots Virtue, a.k.a. The Fat Shit Gundam a.k.a. Dr Phil gundam, which can shed it's armor to become Stevie Wonder Gundam, which has the special Trial system to make his opponents listen to superstition untill their mobile suits stop working, which usually takes only 2 seconds.

Sumeragi-san - Celestial Being's planner; typical middle-aged woman with bouncy boobs and chugging down beer and other alcoholic beverages like there's no tomorrow. Keeps oh-so-submissive and mum when Tiera "The Trap" Erde admonishes her, but later asks him to join her in her room, where Tieria always refuse to have sex with her due to the fact that he only wants to have sex with Lockon, who is dead. Is going to die because she doesn't share her booze. She was known to have beaten Murrue Ramius (CwUBT-Captain with Unbeatable Boobs Tournament)from Gundam WeeD in the most bouncy,biggest,etc... boobies cathegories.

Confirmed irrelevant characters include:

Shinji Crossbreed - Some redundant good-for-nothing, full of nothing but bullsh!t dude who goes to some school who has probably the shittiest fate among all the characters in Gundam 00. Dreams to be a space engineer. Louise's ex-boyfriend. Has never gotten laid by the age of 20. His sister is killed during his trip in Spain, where he found out that his girlfriend lost her arm, destroying his dreams of getting a proper handjob from Louise. It is rumored that this is why Shinji dumped the bitch.

Louise Hailavee - an orphan after a hot emo chick killed off her whole family during a wedding. The emo chick also cost her her arm, which destroyed her mentally, thinking that she could never properly please Shinji with a decent handjob. It is not known whether Shinji dumped her or Louise dumped herself after the loss of her arm. Rumored to have recovered and ran off with Tieria "The Trap" Erde, who uses her as a sex-slave/maid/tool of masturbation after Tieria gave her new hands. Not known if Shinji will ever have sex with her.

Graham "Fuckagundam" [Cr]Acre[s] - an insane gay gundamophilic man who's only dream is to be able to insert his human-sized dick to a Gundam sized ass. After realizing that this is impossible after burning his dick in the exhaust pipe, he instead decided to make his pathetic cannon-fodder of a mobile suit able to have sex with a Gundam, equipping his giant robot version of Wesley Willis with a GN Penis. He had attempted to rape Setsuna's Gundam, but failed as Setsuna managed to cut off his GN Penis. Graham lost all will to fight after that and supposedly died, but will probably return in Gundam 00 wearing a mask, and a revamped GN Penis. Rumored to also be gay to Billy Katagiri.

Billy Katagiri - a Canadian/Japanese cross-breed. His ancestor is believed to be Dwight D.Eisenhower, who had sex with a Japanese woman in the Second World War and never called her back. Likes to have an amazingly long hair, equal to Duo Maxwell from Gundam Wing, and is rumored due to the fact that it is undoubtedly, uncuttable. When his building went BOOOM!!, guess what, his hair is still intact!!! Loves Sumeragi, probably beacuse of her boobs, and he constantly stares at them when they meet. Sumeragi, however, is not interested him and so, he became gay. With Graham "Fuckagundam" [Cr]Acre[s].

Patrick Coleslaw - Some European guy who puts cockroaches to shame. Not only does he eat them, he has gained their Uber GOd Invincibility's hacks. His cockroach powers were powerful enough to withstand a thorough assrape from Tieria. He also wants to rape everything he sees including Gundams. May be the brother of Ali Al Suckass, due the fact that they both pilot the tic-tac Entact,the fact that they want to rape gundams, and the red hair. He is the bitch of Kathy, who he is very attracted to despite her blatant masculinity. Like all the other male characters in this show, he is probably gay and is just mistaking her for a man in the first place. Possible reasons he sucks at everything includes the possibility that he is French, which would explain EVERYTHING.

Ali Al Suckass - Not so typical Crazy red-haired evil man who bribed setsuna, in exchange for a blowjob, had him kill his entire family.Raped and killed Shinji's sister. Rumoured to be a "fuckagundam" also, trying to fuck Ex-shi'ia everytime they fight. However, as he did not have a GN penis, he got pissed and killed the whole trinity team (except the hot emo chick), stole a gundam and strated to rape more and more mobile suits. However, ex-shi'ia fucked him back with the first live sex act of TransAm and Ali had to give up fucking for a while and he went back to masturbating.After repairs, he had 8 fangs penises that can pierce any gundam and their cum can burn through any metal.


List of the Deceased

  • Lockon (died cause he went blind in one eye from masturbating)
  • Cristie (died cause she could not have hot robot sex)
  • Lchibozhioum (that guy from the bridge, hes a robot)
  • the gay doctor (his death was FABULOUS)
  • Shinji's sister (was raped by Ali Al Suckass, who also died)
  • Louises parent and rest of her family (HAHA shes an orphan)
  • Haro's gay lover
  • the guy who made the Gundams
  • the Trinities (except the hot emo chick who usually kills anyone she sees if anyone should die it should be her, and was rumored to be a clone of Flay Alster from WEED)
  • Howard Mason (was attemptedly avenged by the token black guy who also died)
  • Daryl Dash (African American Islamist, crashed his suit at Dynames)
  • and thousand of other people (damn these ppl suck at peace)

Gundam 00 Second Season[edit]

The stupid world continue to spin four years after they rape Celestial Being and killed most of them after the job.

1) Earth Sphere Federation: Your typical evil empire looking to expand itself and dominant the galaxy (eventually, in season 2 they are having trouble conquering the world). Authoritarian and controls the population through propaganda and keeping them docile with consumer goods. Controlled by the superior Innovators.

2) A-Laws: The Autonomous War-Mongering Force, commits war crimes and is the strength behind the Empire ... sorry, Federation. They are also secretly controlled by these shady Innovator characters. They have advanced technology such as Momento Mori, a super ray-gun, the Ahead mobile suit, aircraft carriers and space cruisers that actually look like they are made for war (unlike the shoe-box spaceships from the first season).

3) Kataron: The Rebel Alliance / Anti-Government forces that impose the Empire / Federation. Nothing else worthy of noting, aside from the fact they suck and always lose battles.

4) Coup Forces: Disgruntled military faction that tries to blow up the orbital elevator for fun.

5) The Innovators: A shady organization of feminine-looking guys who control the Federation and A-Laws.

Setsuna FUCKING Seiei - AKA Setsuna F. Snake(Upgraded version). Be afraid, be very afraid. The crossbreed between a human and a Gundam is back for more gay action. Proven to be gaying around with shinji for four years after getting raped. New abilities of him has been shown on the first episode of second season such as instant teleportation...where he teleported to earth from space to find the replacement of his first gay partner - Lockon Stratos at the end of episode one. He can also teleport his own mobile suit and has god-like powers inside of it, as he cured everyone that had an incurable deseise and also change the world. Was seen mimicing Old Snake from MGS4 while trying to find and save Saji. He also seems to be in telepathy with Tieria "The Trap" Erde as proven they can sense each other. His new Gundam, 00 Riser (not to be confused with Gundam 00 neither 00 Gundam or 0 Riser, the same for 0 Gundam) has the ability to learn every people thoughts and sexual measures. For instance, he learned about the tiny size of Saji's cock and Louise breasts, while they were trying to do static sex on the back of his Gundam. He is so powerful that in the last episode of the series, he lifted a GN Drive and rebuilt Gundam Exia from the ashes in a matter of 10 seconds. Aside from the Immortal Colassour, he is the only one who can survive any fatal-explosion caused by Gundam fights. More new abilities to be shown in the Gundam 00 Movie that will premiere in 2010.

Strapon Rockabs' - AKA The "Dan Henderson" Dylandy. After suffering his right eye from masturbation, he miraculously crawled back from the dead when Master chief found his dead body in Hawaii after Lockon crash-landed there. Surprisingly he survived the crash, and as a matter of fact, partied and rocked on stage after the season 1 was over. After 4 years of partying and playing around (Which includes joining Kataron so he could lock-on to Shirin), he finally gets recruited by Setsuna at the same time watching Dr.Phil and doing a blow-up doll of Tieria "THe Trap".

After Lockon gets hired by Setsuna to join celestial being, he is introduced to the crew members, but unfortunately he does not remember his friends from the past due to excessive booze/kinky screwdriving for the past 4 years. Shortly after that, he gets the Keldim "The cubicle" gundam and tries to hit on Feldt Grace again by coercion, only to get his man gems wrecked in the process. He has sex with Anew Returner on OP2 of the second season, making Kira Yamato jealousy now that "Hardcore" ON has hardcore action.

Graham "Fuckagundam" Acre Mr. Bushido - The usual Gundam masked villan. No one knows who he/she really is, his identidy is one of the series mysterys and it's probably never going to be revealed. He looks like Graham Acre, but it can't be him since he died in the end of the first season. Mr.Bushido was the first and only one to complety master Trans GrahAM, an overpower Gundam technique that allows him to beat every fucking Mobile Suit, but not his own. Trans GrahAM it's moRe red, more shiny, has more particles, so it's more powerfull than transAM. He also wears sexy clothes when not on duty.

Ribbons "Cannone" Almarks- AKA: God The mastermind and the reason why Gundam 00 exists. He was born with a penis the size of an earthworm and thus was given the name "Ribbons". He has an entire harem of sex slaves/innovators whom he has gay sex with on a regular basis. He also had a past with Setsuna when he was just a boy ribbons suck the dick of setsuna and setsuna said to him, Oh!! Gundam. That is why Ogundam is the first gundam.

See Also[edit]

Zeta Gundam[edit]

The Zeta Gundam, featured in the ZZ Gundam TV show, exemplifies the gritty, realistic style which Gundam first applied to robot shows.

As anyone would be able to infer from its name, Zeta Gundam is the second Gundam series and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. It takes place in Universal Century 0087, which is Seven years after the end of the One Year War from the original series, and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. It follows young protagonist Kamille Bidan, a lovable, sweet young man who learned at a young age that he likes to yell at people and hit them.(He quickly learned, however, that other people like to hit him too). Kamille also hates his name; he would prefer to be called "Alf". As Kamille is a troubled youth, who soon loses his parents to the Titans(who are portrayed as evil and wear black but actually are just misunderstood), it is decided that he should be placed in the tender care of a rogue military group, where his great love for violence could be exploited for fun and profit. There he meets a mysterious pilot named Quattro Vagina, who despite being constantly mistaken by everyone who sees him as a CHAR!, though he's not a CHAR!.

Zeta Gundam's popularity was so great that a mere twenty years after its production, it was re-released, edited with over 10% new footage as a trilogy of movies. It is projected that one day, mankind will evolve beyond his corporeal form, into a fully enlightened being of pure energy, and leave the cradle of his species and his civilization forever, even as our ancient sun is finally extinguished. And on that day, Zeta Gundam will be reissued on DVD with new bonus features and a special bonus paperweight shaped like the bosom of Four Murasame.

Gundam ZZ Top[edit]

“Life like Gundam ZZ, Anime Ja Nai”

~ Oscar Wilde on life

Gundam ZZ Top is the third Gundam series and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. It takes place in UC 0088, seven days after the end of Zeta Gundam. It follows its main character Judo Ashita in his quest to steal the Zeta Gundam from the AEUG in order to sell it as scrap metal. After Judo has made several attempts at stealing the Zeta Gundam, AEUG officer Bright Noa(aka. White Jesus) randomly enlists Judo as the new pilot and offers to feed him as compensation for fighting in a war against the Neo Zeon forces. Over the course of the series, however, Judo demonstrates his unique skills in combat, pioneering such bold maneuvers as strapping fifty tons of high explosives to his mobile suit and asking his enemies to please not blow him up. Another unique feature of this Gundam series was a useful female character who doesn't die. And she, unlike many others manages to copy Amuro's amazing ability to read an instruction manual.

As per the name, ZZ Top was scheduled to appear in the second half of the series, in a shocking variation on the usual 'protagonist mecha gets upgraded' theme, but Tomino's plans were changed when he received permission to make CHAR!'s Counterattack. Tomino hastily designed the ZZ Gundam (using empty toilet rolls, cheerios and a semen-based adhesive) and removed all references to ZZ Top from the script in order to better link ZZ Top Gundam to Char's Counterattack. Fans claim that evidence of Tomino's stressed attempts to reschedule and rewrite ZZ Top Gundam can be found in the so called 'Moon Moon' arc of the show, which is thought to be even better than the rest of the series, probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans, twice in the same sub-article.

Elements of ZZ Top eventually resurfaced in popular 90's Rock-Opera, Macross 7, and in Tomino's own work 'Turn-A Gundam', where a similarly named 'Turn-X-Top' is seen, further linking the Turn-A era to the Universal Century. It is also speculated that Quattro Vagina's sunglasses were influenced by ZZ Top. The Turn-A's moustache is thought to be a in-joke for staff who worked on the ZZ Top Gundam's beard.

Also credit as pioneer of popular lolicon genre.

CHAR!'s Midlife Crisis[edit]

CHAR!'s Counter Attack is the first original Gundam movie, and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans; it takes place in UC 0093, four years after the end of Gundam ZZ. It finishes the rivalry between the original Gundam protagonists Amuro Ray, and his long time rival(but part time friend and drinking buddy) CHAR! Aznable (AKA Casval Rem Daikun, The Red Comet, Edward Mass, Quattro Vagina, and Amanda Hugandkiss). In the story, CHAR! has founded a new Neo Zeon movement called New Neo Zeon, so that he can crash a space colony loaded with nuclear weapons into the Earth in order to prevent humans from destroying Earth's fragile ecosystem(a perfect plan that has become a staple of Gundam). He also has a hidden agenda of forcing a conflict against Amuro who he's been pissed at for 13 years because Amuro stole his underaged girlfriend, killed her, and then continued going out with her ghost. Amuro opposes CHAR! in his new Gundam which is cleverly called the "Nu Gundam". At the climax of the film, as CHAR! is on the brink of his final defeat, he leaves the battlefield to make an appearance on The Muppet Show, where he sings a song about an inchworm as a class full of silhouetted obsessive-compulsive puppet students discuss arithmetic.

There was also a bunch of novels about White Jesus's (who has a moustache now) spawn, Hathaway, who changes his name to Mafty Osama Bin Erin and joins/founds a terrorist orginization to kill the White Jesus. Hathaway/Mafty/Osama/Jesus Junior also gets a Gundam (Shocking!!!) called the Ξ Gundam (More commonly known as the "Artist formerly known as Gundam."

Obviously, no one stands against White Jesus. Hathawaymaftyosamajuniorjesuspirateterroristguy is beaten by some white chick named Penelope, who may or may not shoot missiles out of her vagina, and is sentenced to death by the hand of jesus, more commonly known as "BrightSlap." It wasn't until after his death that White Jesus realized he had just brightslapped his own son, and in grief, brightslapped himself, which caused a chain reaction that destroyed the entire planet. The end.

Gundam 0080: Rocket In My Pocket[edit]

Gundam 0080 was the first series in which Gundam creator Yoshiyuki Tomino had no hand in creating. Because of this, it is considered by many to be one of the greatest Gundam series ever. The story follows a young child named Alfred "Hotpants" Izuruha, whose interest in war and wearing short shorts leads him to join the heroic Principality of Zeon to aid his comrade Zeon pilot Bernard Wiseman in his mission to capture or destroy the evil Earth Federation's prototype Gundam RX-78NT1. This prototype Gundam just so happens to be piloted by Al's old friend and next door neighbor, Christina Mackenzie. Since she is one of the hottest babes ever to be rendered in animation form, experts agree that the series would have been a lot better had she been given at least one gratuitous nude bathing scene (ala the White Base girls, Lyla Mira Lyla from Zeta, Kiki Rosita from 08th MS Team and many other Gundam females). This touching tale shows us the true nature of war, as once-naive, starry-eyed Al sees his friends and neighbors ruthlessly slaughtered by stray fire as giant robots fight above his hometown, his best friend roasted until he popped, leaving only a small pile of smoldering, foul-smelling bloody meat, and in the end, Al sheds a tear to express his great sadness that the fun adventure had to come to an end.

Gundam 0083: Stardust Memory[edit]

Gundam on the cover of Time magazine

Gundam 0083 takes place in UC 0083, in between the One Year War from the original Gundam series and the Gryps Conflict from Zeta Gundam, and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. Its premise combines the typical "inexperienced pilot is faced with an attack and enters a Gundam" plotline, with the also typical "person from an enemy faction steals a new prototype Gundam" plotline. It is this clever plot development which has led many to hail 0083 not only as the best Gundam series, but actually the single most inspired piece of storytelling ever committed to the great medium of videotape.

  • Kool Ur-A-Gay - Kool is the best Gundam pilot ever, his mad skills easily distinguishing him from the other mediocre pilots such as Amuro, Heero, Kira and the Mighty Shockwave. In fact, Kool has never lost although everybody knows that carrots are his one major weakness, if you offer Kool a carrot, he will go emo and instantly commit suicide. Wished that his Gundam has magic so that he can save everyone from Operation Stardust
  • Analvel "Kamikaze" Gato - Analvel is the best Gundam pilot ever, he captured the Federation;s GP02A and had multiple clashes with Kool. In fact, he fought to a draw with Kool on many occasions until he decided that life was too boring and rammed his new mobile armor Nahh Ziel into a Salami-class sandwich.
  • Cheena Grawlhaul - Cheena is the best Gundam pilot ever, she managed to double deal with Anaheim Electronics and got herself a brand new Gundam. Unfortunately, it looked like a giant Zeon mosquito by the time it rolled out from the production line. Little is known about her but what we know is that she died a heroic death.
  • Nina "MY GUNDAMS!!!" Purpleton - Nina Purpleton owns all the Gundams because she is loosely referred to as a designer of some models. She treats them as her children and has hot loving with them in her free time, and they are all her Gundams. What only few know, is that every single Gundam of all Gundam series belong to her. Damaging them will result in her going psycho and immediately eradicating anything that harms her dear Gundams and purge them into a fate worse than death, which explains why people tend to win when piloting a Gundam, which belongs to her.
  • Chuck Norris Keith - Chuck is the best Gundam pilot ever, his mad skills easily distinguishing him from the other mediocre side characters such as Camille, Judau, Athrun and the Maximals from Least Wars which is why his name is "Chuck Norris" Keith. Feels attracted to women that are larger, stronger and hairier than himself.
  • South Burning - Named after a disease he has which causes him to feel a constant burning pain in the "south" area.
  • Dick Allen - Friends with Kool and Chuck. His early demise during an unfortunate scuffle with a Dom Tropen in his SUPER-POWERED GM resulted in him being a complete dick. Kool had to clear his personal effects or trash because no one wanted them.

Gundam F91[edit]

Gundam F91 is a TV series that takes place in UC 0123, thirty years after Char's Counterattack, and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. It was originally planned as a 52 episode series, however, in preproduction it was knocked down to 26 episodes, then knocked down to 13 OVAs, upped to 151 TV episodes, knocked down to 6 OVAs and then knocked up: nine months later it gave birth to one 118 minute movie. This constant format change is said to have been caused by a large consumption of illicit drugs at Studio Sunrise. Because of the constant change in the run time, the movie itself is a complete mess that is impossible to understand. The movie ends with protagonist Seabook Arno defeating Kurt Angle in the Daytona 500 race with his Formula 91 racecar. He celebrates his victory by drinking a bottle of milk, and then he douses himself with gasoline and lights himself on fire, dying in the process. Many fans see this puzzling final scene as a tribute to Thích Quảng Đức; immolation, after all, is the sincerest form of flattery.

In an interview held at Anime Expo New York, Tomino revealed that the inspiration for F91 came to him while he was watching an episode of Sesame Street in which Mr. Hooper engineered a mechanized army of flying robots designed to eliminate all Muppet life. This story inspired Tomino to devise his own story with some slight similarities to that episode. Even the name, "F91", came from the show, as the episode was sponsored by the letter F and the number 91.

Victory Gundam[edit]

Victory Gundam is a TV series that takes place in UC 0153, thirty years after Gundam F91 and is regarded as the best by Gundam fans, though this is strictly conjecture; little is actually known about Victory Gundam because it was extremely unpopular--in fact, it was so unpopular that to this day, no one has actually ever seen an episode of V Gundam. Despite this setback, anime researchers studying the scant information on the beast known as Victory Gundam from fossil records have reached this conclusion: the show is believed to have featured a young boy as the pilot of some type of machine, who at some point fights in some sort of conflict. It is also believed that the young boy was ultimately successful in his struggle.

It is also known that the series creator, Tomino "The Ripper" Yoshiyuki, was forced by the evil puppetmasters of Bandai to assemble and hand-paint every Gundam toy which went on the market. As a result, he fell into a state of deep depression and began to script increasingly bloody death scenes for all his characters, culminating in the final episode where the Victory Gundam explodes, killing the remaining cast and destroying the universe.

Mobile Suit Gundam: 08th MS Team[edit]

08th MS Team is a TV series which features a main character by the name of Shiro Amada, a young man who joined the Earth Federation to get revenge on the Principality of Zeon for gassing his family in their Holocaust-like purges, and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. At the end of the series, he ditches his fellow soldiers and leaves the Earth Federation forces to get with a hot Zeon babe while compensating for a missing limb. 08th MS Team shows that Gundam isn't all about flashy firefights - the giant 80-ton festively-colored mobile suits in this show are very stealthy as they stomp around in the jungle.

It is also notorious for showing that the Japanese like Shiro want to rape lolicons like Kiki.

Gundam WeeD[edit]

This Gundam series is a retelling of the Bible for the 21st century, featuring Kira "Zeus" Yamato (an emo kid, who crossdresses in the closet and have gay sex with is best friend Athrun) and his ambiguously platonic main squeeze Lacus Clyne, who do their best (including massive pwning) to bring peace to the world, joined by Kira's androgynous sister who probably is a lesbian, Cagalli Yula Athha, and her equally homosexual on-off boyfriend, Athrun Zala (and former boyfriend Fox McCloud). As a result, it is considered by many Gundam fans to be the worst Gundam series ever. However, Gundam fangirls still consider it the best Gundam series ever.

Kira Yamato in his Mobile Suit Gundam: Strike Freedom. Note the mad tech specs on this model

One of the highlights of the show is that it has the never-before-seen sequence of Gundams being stolen, as well as these being piloted by young kids, in addition to an (horrors! Hide the children's eyes!) ambiguous sex scene, images of handguns, and underage porn. Yamato (who is often called "Zeus" for reasons unconfirmed by the show's creators - someone will say "Hey, Zeus!" and Yamato will turn around) first endures the trials of the war, desperately trying to protect those he loves while equipped with his only moderately mighty Gundam. Also every person he meets sports a different color hair selected at random from a 128 Crayola Crayon box.

In an interview, the show's director Hiroaki Fukuda said that many of the creative decisions that led to Gundam WeeD were taken from his personal life. When he was racked with guilt over his solicitation of underaged prostitutes, he came up with the name "Gundam Sin". However, that ultimately had to change, as the title would be unacceptable in America, so Fukuda tried variations of the prostitute idea and came up with "Gundam WeeD". Fukuda dealt with his guilt by becoming a chain smoker, which led to "Gundam Ashtray", involving a complex storyline and an imaginative new robot design. However, staff for the show, frustrated with Fukuda's behavior, soon left the project, demanding better treatment for their return. This led to a new concept robot for the show, called "Strike Gundam". The loss of these valuable staff members forced Fukuda to draw heavily from other Gundam stories and rely on his wife to develop the show's concept.

Besides Newtypes, there are some people who possess something called "SEED". Due to the look and attitude of those who use it, it's widely believed that in reality "SEED" is common Engrish and they meant to name it "WEED"(of course the makers of this show were on it) instead. This belief is strengthened by the title of the next in the story, titled "Stargazer", as well as the inclusion of a bong-shaped attachment that turns the lead robot of the second season into the "Stoner Implulse Gundam".

Some Whales point out that Gundam WEED might be a tribute to Princess Nevada, as one of most memorable scenes has a mobile suit stab another in the neck with box-cutter.

Gundam WEED Ash Tray[edit]

A Side story mango series which is placed along side WEED. It follows the efforts of Lowe "High Gear" Guele and a bunch of junk collecters and their Ash Tray Red Frame Gundam, which carries a HUEG SWORD with it, and Gai and the Snake's Head group, which have a similar Ash Tray Gundam, only it's BLUE, and has a PATRIOTIC COWBOY HAT head. Fans generally agree that the Ash Tray series is over 9000 times better than the main WEED series, but do not admit it for fear of angering Zeus Yamato.

Gundam WEED Destiny Zeta[edit]

(aka Gundam WEED Density, due to the dense lead characters.)

Picking up where Gundam WEED (see above) left off, this series heavily focus on the studies of diseases, especially eye diseases and is also regarded as the worst by Gundam fans after Gundam SEED's failure.

It features a new protagonist, Shinn "AAAAA!" Asuka, another emo kid who has trouble controlling his emotions and hence relies heavily on his inner "WEED" to get by. He is also the only known subject to ever suffer from the Rare "Red Eye Disease", making him fall in love with innocent girls wearing skimpy clothes. Like Kira and Athrun he too has a girl shaped body. The plot revolves around the Phantom Limb squadron, a force of the Earth Alliance which is also a part of Blue Cosmos which is actually just a front organization for a cabal of uber-rich capitalists called Logos who profit off of war and control the Earth Alliance exploiting cultural backwardness and hatred for coordinators. Logo design services in Dubai suggests this Logos is controlled by a psychotic she-male, Lord Djibril, who is the most notorious and vicious of all Logos. So anyways, the PLANTS (hourglass-like space station things) deploy their new l33t battleship Minervus to chase down Phantom Limb. This is interrupted when random terrorist coordinators force the old PLANT to crash into earth, sparking a new war between the Earth Alliance and PLANTS. The Earth Alliance Atlantic Federation (representing the American Empire) makes unreasonable demands, saying that if the PLANTS don't remove themselves from power they will be removed because they are a threat. Also like the American Empire, the Earth Alliance forces other, nuetral countries of the alliance to join them in their holy crusade. But it is later revealed that the Earth Alliance is not the only force of evil, Chairman Glibert Durandal later reveals his mechanical plans after eliminating the Logos capitalists to implement "Destiny Plan", another idealistic and hopeless plan to make a rationally-ordered society for the PLANTS and Earth and ending war by killing anyone who disagrees with it. This is a major twist as halfway though the story, the evil capitalists / neo-racists and their puppet governments and are replaced by crazy a intellectual and millions of brainwashed people.

The technology of Gundam WEED Destiny involves the standard Mobile Suit, the Mobile Armor, the Mobile Fighter and the Mobile Ship. Basically, a few big space robots can dominate swarms of other vehicles like tanks and airplanes with their light sabers.

The love story is more complex than in the original Gundam WEED. Shinn falls in love with Stellar Loussier, an enemy Gundam pilot, ala Romeo and Juliet, who appears to be suffering from Alzheimer's Disease, ala 50 First Dates. She dies in his arms and he swears revenge on her killer, ala almost every sappy revenge story out there. But then he forgets about her and falls in love with Luna overnight. Another of his secret love interests(SHHHHH!) is his sexchanged roommate, Rey Za Burel. Kind of interesting, really... the girl-changed-to-a-boy-with-girly-hormones-still Rey, constantly supports and takes care of Shinn(both physically and mentally). And Shinn obviously doesn't care whether or not he's sleeping with a girl in a boy's body.

Another interesting thing about this Rey Za Burel is his urges for Gilbert Durandal. (To quote... "GIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLBEEEEEERRRRRRRTTT!" girly shriek) Obviously, this misunderstood teen is having problems coping as a guy and still deviates to his girly hormones. Other known subjects of rare eye diseases also include Athrun "Green Eyes" Zala, who is widely accepted to be a wizard, and his good friend Kira "Zeus" Yamato, who suffers from a varation of this, "purple eyes", causing him and Athrun to be visually impared, mistaking each other's lovers and ending up in bed with the wrong girlfriends...including Kira sleeping with his sister and sometime Athrun.

The Fate-ful ending.

The plot of this story again centers on Kira "Zeus" Yamato and his friends saving the Earth (and the weird hourglass shaped thingies) from WORLD DOMINATION by an idealistic Chairman who hopes to end all future wars (wait - doesn't this make Yamato and gang the villains?) and ensure peace and prosperity for all, by killing lots of people needlessly, like TRUE heroes! (read "war" as "the ability to continue this stupid series for another go at it").

Despite Kira Yamato and Athrun Zala being PWNED by Shinn 'AAAAA' Asuka who is actually a Baltan in disguise, they survive 'miraculously' (actually haxing the anime, but shhhh) and defeat the Chairman and Asuka (but not actually killing them) in the final episode, ensuring that more wars and killings will occur and paving the way for the domination of Lacus Clyne as well as the next Bandai Gundam series so they can sell more crap.

Gundam WEED Stargazer C.E. 73[edit]

"Gundam WEED Stargazer The Series Super Mobile Suit Sunshine C.E. 7.3 Movie Film for Internets" Is an epic, 3 hour long movie, that almost every fan, who considers this the best Gundam production ever, did complain how very very long this series movie is. And it was long. Way too long. In fact, it was so long that this website can't encompass how sheerly completely epically long this production was. It featured Phantom Limb pilots Sven Cal Bang Bang Byangangang, who piloted Strike Noir, a.k.a. Gundam "Neo". Scams Token-palooza, who pilots Remold Buster. And MIUDE! (a.k.a. Skimpy McBigtits) Pilot of "Bullet Bait Bloo Dool" a.k.a. "Armor Clusterfuck Gundam". It involves hours and hours on neverending action, including the appearance of a new orginization, the DSSIEDFDSED, a peaceful group who manages to have "Gundam Stargazer", which is designed to have an AI Unit installed. However, about 2 1/2 hours into this movie series, Phantom Limb attacks DSSIEDFDSED, and tries to steal the AI Unit. The ultimate outcome of this movie is as of yet, not known, as this was such a long series...we mean movie...well, series movie, that every one who watched it fell asleep before they could find out what ultimately happened.

Public Opinion[edit]

This sequel is considered to be the best C.E. timeline (WeeD, etc) Gundam by the U.C. timeline (Mobile Suit Gundam, Zeta Gundam, etc) Gundam fans and the worse C.E. timeline Gundam by C.E. timeline Gundam fans.

The U.C. Gundam fans give the following reasons for their selection:

  • The main character is not a god but instead Jesus.
  • The main character receives more character development within 45 minutes than Shinn did in the entire Gundam WeeD Destiny series.
  • It is not clear who is good and who is bad.
  • The main character's friends die.
  • The different sides are not portrayed as being stereotypically good or bad.
  • It is short and sweet.
  • There are no childish big-eyed female characters.
  • The 2 female characters portrayed are not childish and big-eyed.
  • There is no KIRA! and ATHRUN! and SHINN! and LUNA! and ETC!
  • There are very few half-a-second poses.
  • Lack of hotness and nudity of random female characters. Zomg.

no winey like bitchs U.C. Gundam fans' reason as to why this is only the best of the C.E. timeline and not of all Gundam timelines:


The C.E. Gundam fans give the follwing reason for their condamnation:

  • The main character is not a god but Jesus.
  • The main character receives more character development within 45 minutes than Shinn did in the entire Gundam WeeD Destiny series.
  • It is not clear who is good and who is bad.
  • The main character's friends die.
  • The different sides are not portrayed as being stereotypically good or bad.
  • It is short and bitter.
  • There are no childish big-eyed female characters.
  • The 2 female characters portrayed are not childish and big-eyed.
  • There is no KIRA! and ATHRUN! and SHINN! and LUNA! and ETC!
  • There are very few half-a-second poses.
  • Lack of hotness and nudity of random female characters. Zomg.

C.E. Gundam fans' reason as to why this is only the worse of the C.E. timeline and not of all Gundam timelines:

Gundam Wing[edit]

Gundam Wing (also known as Gun-damn Wing in Europe) is an alternate universe version of the Gundam series and is probably regarded as the best by Gundam fans. After the huge success of Gundam WEED, Gundam AIDS, Gundam Trashmetal & Gundam Fried Cucumber with Rice, the creators decided on to trash all of the previously created characters, and decided to set the whole story during World War II with Zechs as a modern form of Stalin, and Trieze as a modern form of Fritz Barbarossa. The main characters were:

  • Heero - A goth poser kid. The creators originally wanted to name him Hero, but that just shows Japanese people don't know English, and they mistranslated him back to Hero from kanjis, so he became Heero, which is pretty much the same as Hero only with the difference of the e letter. It's really important since in most of the Engrish words, there's usually more than just one mistakenly written down letter (for example Char Anzablabla is once written down as Duplo Vagina). His favorite hobby is self detonating his Gundam. Luckily, his clothes are completely indestructible as they, like his mobile suit, are made from Gundanium. No matter how many times he self detonates, they never rip, wrinkle, or even get scratched. Additionally, being the goth poser he is, he likes to say "I will kill you" to people's faces, but never actually makes an effort to kill them, even if he is pointing a loaded gun at them. It is his goth poser way of saying "I want to do you." He is still a virgin to this very day. At the end of Endless Waltz his Gundam's double barrel cum cannon backfired and killed the Gundam but he survived the subsequent 9000 degree temprature and 10 mile fall plus add the other 10 miles he had to fall underground in enough time to shoot a defenseless little girl and kill her with a gun that had no bullets. Add all of this up and you end up with one bad ass motherfucker.
  • Duo - A kid on amphetamines. He also wants to be a goth, and make out with gals. In Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz, he upgraded his Gundam Deathscythe Hell Custom Ultimate X Premium Omega with a weedwhacker, replacing the previously used barber scissors. His famous quote is "Blah blah blah, I'm the god of DEATH, BLAH BLAH!!" which means, "I wanna be cool, but I'm still a whiney jackass with a girly pigtail & a stupid truck driver cap."
  • Quatre - The only existing gypsy with blond hair, and blue eyes. He also was in a lot of homosexual manga porn artworks as a model. It's really noticeable that he's the only character from the series who looks like a woman, despite the fact he's a tranny. His friends include Omar Shamir, Amir Farad, Omar Santana, Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Toe the Cammel and Einsatz the Gay.
  • Trowa - An emo kid from the last century, he's the founder of Tokyo Hotel. He enjoys spending his time with performing suicide dives in front of the crowd at the Circus, since MySpace didn't exist yet, so there were no place for public self-pity, other than Circus Maximus. Trowa knows his best friend Dumbo from there.
  • Wu Fei - Angry anarchistic punk kid who thinks of his Gundam as his girlfriend. His mother didn't let him go to a Fuck the Police concert, which made him angry and he hates women because of it.
  • Relena - A hippie, the creators originally wanted her for Gundam WEED, but after they realised there's no such series, they put her into this one. Her father is well known for making the organizing works for the yearly Woodstock festival for the communes colonies, but then he got killed by Quistis Trepe of Final Fantasy 8. She has the hots for Heero and constantly wants him to come and "kill" her. She also very observant because she asks questions like "Those are missiles aren't they?" or "That's a gun right? Are you going to shoot me Heero?"
  • Zechs - He wears a mask and is rumored to be Heero's secret man lover. Nothing is certain, because it's a secret only they know. It is rumoured that he is in fact a trans-dimensional being known as a CHAR!, but this theory remains unsupported.

The story plot is as follows: Stalin & Barbarossa wanna destroy everything, Relena smokes weed, then the main characters realize they should spend their free time not committing suicide, but killing other people. This turned them from emos, into gothic industrial heroes, while they explored the newly made synthetic drug called the Zero System(which, incidentally, is also the name of a Progressive Industrial Polka Band from Iraq). There is also a sequel where a 10 year old girl decides to destroy the world, but (BEWARE, IT'S SPOILER IT CAN BURN YOUR TOES!!!) she fails even without having Chuck Norris in the movie. At the end, everyone destroys their Gundams, since they realize they don't want to be part of another sequel with a meaningless story. This is why the creators started to search for other characters: Gundam Wing: Polka Forever is confirmed, and will be in theaters soon, with main characters like the members of Funeral For A Friend, and of course, the lost daughter of Jim Morrison. Another sequel Salsa todos los tiempos is rumored to be in the planning stages.

G Gundam[edit]

Some fans question G Gundam's status as a legitimate Gundam series, since it more easily falls into the Super Robot category because of the abilities of the robots to split up and combine into different forms, and the characters(listed below) are equally over-the-top. However, most Gundam fans take these factors as proof that G Gundam is indeed the best Gundam series ever. (These fans are not to be trusted, and if encountered, you should stick your fingers in your ears and yell "GUNDAM IS ONLY ABOUT THE SERIOUS TRAGEDIES OF WAR! I HAVE NO SON!") This is also the favorite Gundam series of those with a latex fetish--especially gay ones. Though Rain and Allenby are hot...sort of...okay anyways:

G Gundam is the story of a man named Dumbass Cashew--renamed from the original Dumbaß for the American version due to lack of fonts for rendering the German ß, which was the producers' favorite letter. Dumbass roams the world searching for his brother by going up to random people and sticking an old photograph in their face while shouting "Have you seen this man?!" Before they can answer the question, he strips naked, gets into a skintight latex bodysuit, and commands his Gundam to shove its Burning Finger up their ass. Listed below are people Dumbass faced in combat, as well as the other people in the show, whenever the editors get around to writing something funny, and not stupid.

  • Chibodee Crotchface - A shockingly accurate depiction of the average American, Chibodee Crotchface grew up on the mean streets of New York, where a tragic ear-biting incident by a group of clowns dressed as terrorists led him on the road to boxing. Also, his parents died. As a Gundam Fighter, Chibodee bravely hides behind a team of five robo-bitches who he declares are "all the protection he needs", and greets everyone with "Howdy!" His Gundam is a giant football player with boxing gloves, revolvers, a surfboard, a banjo, and a potbelly. In fact, the only thing missing is a cowboy hat.
  • Jorge de Frenchman - His first name is actually pronounced 'George', but then, the Japanese are worse at French than they are at English. Dumbass comes to Jorge's castle in search of his brother, interrupting his match with the light-footed Castro Gundam, hailing from Neo San Francisco. His signature moves are throwing roses at his enemies(that'll work) and prompt surrender.
  • Sai Saichi: Some Shaolin kid. He wants to win to rebuild his Shaolin temple(which he was responsible for destroying with fireworks). Accompanied by two pedo-monks. Dumbass promptly kicked him in the face and that was that last we heard about that jerk for several episodes.
  • Argo Naught: In Neo Russia, Gundam pilots you!
Master Asia is tripping balls!
  • Master Asia: Master Asia, alias Super Asia, alias Jesus, alias Chuck Norris is the ultimate master of simply everything, giving him a state of art ability to ignore the rules of physics. Not only is he Dumbass' teacher, but he also tried to kill Justin Timberlake for the King of Hearts title (but only left him emotional scars, which explained his breakups with Britney Spears and Cameron Diaz) and taught all the other people from Dragonball how to fight. Master Asia abused Dumbass by thrusting his hands into fires, throwing him off mountains, and cheating at the King of Iron Fist tournament(supposedly all training). Betrays Dumbass to have hot loving with the Devil Gundam. Also, he's dying, so he takes Mary Jane as treatment. With the ability to make fire appear out of nowhere, spread communism ("the East is burning red") and as mentioned before to ignore any type of physics, Master Asia's intentions are enigmatic and deep, though some might say he just randomly kicks anybody's ass that get in his way. His achievements include walking over water, turning water into wine, dividing the seas and leading 300 Spartans into a hopeless battle after feeding them with some fish and bread.
  • Rain un Maparade: Dumbass' "girlfriend" and Annie Lennox's loathed cousin, who inspired her to create a song called "Here Comes Rain Again." She's too dumb to realize she's in an abusive relationship, what with the abandonment, neglect, and drinking. Dumbass has probably smacked her around a bit and had countless orgasms with her. In fact, as soon as she got rescued by Dumbass in the final episode, Dumbass felt like he was "in heaven" as he felt Rain's boobs in his chest while hugging her naked body, and the only way the two defeated the Devil Gundam is by having sex in its sight. Also, you have to love her camel toe, while she transrapes herself into her battlesuit.
  • Allenby Beardsly: A girl(seriously!), Dumbass has no issues beating the bejesus out of her. Attracted to Dumbass, despite numerous beatings. Her Gundam is a giant robot version of Sailor Moon.
  • The Shuffle Alliance (code name: In-Sync): originally consisted of Justin "Sexyback" Timberwolf (King of Hearts), JC So-Gay ("Queen" of Spades), Lance Soprano (Jack-off Diamonds, which classified him as a fag), Chris Jerkpatrick (Ace of Clubs), and Joey the Fat One (Black Joker), these 5 dudes use their superior "fighting" (singing and dancing) techniques to maintain order and peace in the world at the same time piloting giant metallic pretty boy replicas of themselves.
The original Shuffle Alliance

Turn A Gundam[edit]

This is another story by "Kill 'em All" Tomino (Although only 6 named people died), and his last. This is the first time a Hindu has ever piloted the Gundam; in fact, this is the ONLY time. As the deadly Moonlight Butterfly ate up all the technology of Earth(and reverted life back to the medieval age), the Earthrace, as it was called, is helpless against the still high-technology Moonrace. Or almost helpless, as some deported Moonie named Loran Cehack discovers a Gundam hidden inside the Statue of Liberty, and life for the Moonrace, as we knew it, became hard for them until they declared financial bankruptcy.

Ironically, the Gundam known as Turn-Ass has the Moonlight Butterfly Technology that fried the hyperfuturistic world as you know it, and is mankind's only hope against some OBL-like figure named Gym Gymniham who runs, true enough, a fitness gym in a Moonrace city named after himself.

Also, it was stated that all the other Gundam worlds were connected by some now-discredited theory called the Big Crunch theory, and that proponent, later to be revealed as Tomino himself, hinted that all Gundam series are previous history of the Turn-Ass Gundam series.

Although it was on par with older series like Zeta, rednecks screamed of PC-ness, as the protagonist's ethnic backgound shows. Turn-Ass fans were derided as 'Moonracists'. Also, it was later revealed that Loran was actually a girl and his/her voice actor was a North Korean agent with the name of Park Romi. This explains why it wasn't, and would never be available in Engrish in America.

Feats

  • Real ammunition cannot damage its armour
  • Beam weapons are deflected by its I-field
  • Can teleport
  • Can warp its attacks (can warp a beam shot directly INTO a cockpit)
  • Beam rifle at maximum power is stronger than a colony laser
  • Regeneration
  • The Moonlight Butterfly that destroyed Earth's civilization was at 20% power
  • System Turn A's chest's multipurpose silo can summon weapons (it can only "summon" stuff from Earth, and apparently it can only be done with special devices made specifically for the Turn A.)
  • The Moonlight Butterfly at 100% output can cover everything from Earth to Jupiter
  • The teleportation system makes it possible for, as long as there are nanomachines available at all, regenerate everything entirely, including the pilot (Teleportation system apparently "saves" the status of the machine and everything in it and sends it somewhere. The nanomachines can use that data to regenerate everything (it just takes ages, depending on how much needs to be regenerated; Complete regeneration of everything is said to take thousands of years))
  • The Turn Series uses DG cell technology. (this means they can be destroyed with love)
  • They're actually meant for newtypes to pilot, as they were created by the newtypes for interstellar war.
  • The Turn A's hands are so sensitive they can be used to pick up a regular human-sized bucket of water.
  • Tthe Kylas Gilly or however you spell it (the thing from V Gundam) can't even scratch the Turn A, and the Turn X Top can take control of it remotely (Turn A probably can too).
  • Turn A's power source is two "縮退炉" ("degeneracy engines"). It is run by degenerates.
  • The I-field beam drive system creates a film of particles over the surface of the machine and moves the parts (hence the lack of any need for motors and shit inside).
  • Can wash clothes
  • Can still lose to plothax

Gundam X (The Abridged Series)[edit]

Little is known of this series, except this is a hentai series about a guy named Garrod Ran and a mysterious girl named Tifa Lockheart Adil. Working like a bad fanfic, the series shows what would happen if everything went apeshit and colonies were slammed into earth(The answer: bad things). and now Garrod, Tiffa, and some vultures (or something like that) are forced to survive this post-apocalyptic world, poor ratings, and the early cancellation of the show. Although fan reaction of this series were mostly negative, some consider it the best Gundam series ever. Gundams featured include the title mech Gundam X, along with Virsago(the purported son of Gundam Epyon and Gundam Nataku), Leopard, a blatant Heavyarms clone(many had speculated that Roybea 'Roabea Roybie Roabii' Loy, the guy who piloted this robot stole the remains of the Heavyarms after it was destroyed), Airmaster(which, y'know, fights in the air), along with Ashtaron and Gundam Quadruple-X, built by those UNE bastards because they think what the best method to avoid a new war is creating a mobile suit even more powerful than those that ruined the earth in the first place.

Because Escaflowne and Evangelion were being aired at the time, Gundam X suffered low ratings, and until today, it was only available in Jesusland.

Gundam 00[edit]

A.D. 2307 the world is divided between three great superpowers, and a delicate balance of power is maintained with the orbital elevators that each superpower possesses. War is still common, and the private military group Celestial Being seeks to start an all out war with the three superpowers through the armed intervention with pretty boys piloting mobile suits called Gundam on their military base.

Little is known about this series either, except that involves another typical Gundam jack done by a Kurdish religious fanatic, Setsuna F. Seiei(also know as Setsuna Fucking Seiei), who is a member of a holier-than-thou peaceful war-mongering terrorist group of peace-keepers known as Celestial Being. Many fans consider this to be the best Gundam, until Rosie O'Gundam was released.

At the end of the first season the show's policy is "If you ain't dead then your a pussy".

Factions in the first season:

1) The American Empire/Union In the future, the United States annexes all of South America, Latin America and Canada to form the Union of Solar Energy and Free Nations/Trade. Notable technology is the Flag fighter and aircraft carriers.

2) The Humane Reform League A mixture of Asian countries and east European countries in a Soviet-esque fashion, they control one orbital elevator. They appear to be more socialist and militarist than the other three nations. Their goals are to reform humanity in a humane way. They are the most advanced faction with a space colony, a large space fleet and Mobile Suit Tieran Tousi.

3) Advanced European Union In the future, the Eurpoean Union becomes "advanced". Standard European social market model is applied to all of Europe. They are also the least technologically advanced and most stagnant of the three superpowers. The culture is perverted enough to produce the likes of Patrick Colasour, and Enact mobile suit fighters.

Confirmed characters include the following:

Setsuna Fucking Seiei - Typical protagonist. Joined Celestial Being. Holier-than-thou peaceful war-mongering terrorist peace-keeper that pilots a Gundam revolving purely around cutting himself with its three gigantic vibrating switchblades and four beam saber. Walking around and start to tell people about his identity,which is a Class "S" rank secret. His long-time wish of becoming a Gundam has finally been granted (He IS Gundam). It is believed that he killed his parent or relative to join a stupid group of terrorists who worship Kira "Zeus" Yamato. Possibly a pimp who tried to get a useless princess as his mummy. Goes emo when hot-yet-crazy girls randomly kiss him while showing no sign of any interest in kissing only. It was also thanks to this incident where he developed the "falcon punch" technique that pwns Neena Trinity all hot-yet-crazy girls. When his Gundam gets high, it can turn red and go VSHOOM! This is due to CHAR! building the Gundam, making it 3 times faster than before, but making it 3 times more likely to cut itself. His Gundam is Ex-Shi'ia.

Lockon Stratos - Typical handsome long haired guy. 24 year old player. PSN and Xbox Live ID is [n00b]lockonSNIPER. Refers to himself in third person. Likes to use the word 'lock-on' all the time, especially when doing it. Catch-phrases include "Lock-on is locking-on!", and most commonly uttered when catching sight of his next 'target'. Also prone to forgetting that he is not some 1337 CS player, and will yell 'BOOM HEADSHOT!!!' after a successful snipe. His unfornate death was predicted by some whippersnappers stating by yelling that he would die for being over 20 years old. Likes 14 yr old girls...a LOT! He has a robot called Haro which helped him to pilot his Gundam in the maneuver since he is a noob in doing that. His Haro is very good in getting girls with it's cuteness(which make guys irritated by repeating the same phrase twice), not to mention that it has it's own harem which consisted mainly with it's incest with fellow Haros. Unable to become Gundam because he's Irish. His Gundam is Dynapack, which has the powerful ability to take out it's guns and act like 50 Cent.

Allelujah Paptism - Typical handsome long haired emo boy. He's a 19 year old Christian fanatic. Joined Celestial Being to 'save' people, especially from themselves. Prone to committing random acts of violence against people of all religions when his other personality came out. Had killed most of his own race in the name of Veda and is going to die because his Gundam is orange. Suspected to have slept with Sumeragi-san after a drink during the day he turned 20, therefore cheating on his even more emo boyfriend Setsuna. Possible mother complex. Also believes that his split personality may be White Jesus. His Gundam is Carry-Os. It's special ability is raping other giant robots with it's long, hard "blade" mounted on his left arm.

Tieria "The Trap" Erde - Typical purple-haired gay. His age is unknown. It is speculated that he was a victim of 'child abuse' in KIRA! and Lacus's Orphanage for Pretty Children. Is going to die because he is a trap. Like Setsuna, Tieria wanted to become a Gundam but sadly he can't due to his ability to make his own Gundam strip in front of the enemy. He has a girls face & wears pink so he might be a girl trap in a shell of a man like his gundam. Rumored to have a large crush on that Irish dude, Lockon, but could not fuck him as he only likes 14-year-old girls. After Lockon's death, Tieria desperately searches for his body, and found it. he hid the body in his room, where he could privately masturbate over him when he is alone. Looks extremely feminine and is probably a sex-changed girl (Well, either that or he is the gayest looking bastard ever). Pilots Virtue, a.k.a. The Fat Shit Gundam a.k.a. Dr Phil gundam, which can shed it's armor to become Stevie Wonder Gundam, which has the special Trial system to make his opponents listen to superstition untill their mobile suits stop working, which usually takes only 2 seconds.

Sumeragi-san - Celestial Being's planner; typical middle-aged woman with bouncy boobs and chugging down beer and other alcoholic beverages like there's no tomorrow. Keeps oh-so-submissive and mum when Tiera "The Trap" Erde admonishes her, but later asks him to join her in her room, where Tieria always refuse to have sex with her due to the fact that he only wants to have sex with Lockon, who is dead. Is going to die because she doesn't share her booze. She was known to have beaten Murrue Ramius (CwUBT-Captain with Unbeatable Boobs Tournament)from Gundam WeeD in the most bouncy,biggest,etc... boobies cathegories.

Confirmed irrelevant characters include:

Shinji Crossbreed - Some redundant good-for-nothing, full of nothing but bullsh!t dude who goes to some school who has probably the shittiest fate among all the characters in Gundam 00. Dreams to be a space engineer. Louise's ex-boyfriend. Has never gotten laid by the age of 20. His sister is killed during his trip in Spain, where he found out that his girlfriend lost her arm, destroying his dreams of getting a proper handjob from Louise. It is rumored that this is why Shinji dumped the bitch.

Louise Hailavee - an orphan after a hot emo chick killed off her whole family during a wedding. The emo chick also cost her her arm, which destroyed her mentally, thinking that she could never properly please Shinji with a decent handjob. It is not known whether Shinji dumped her or Louise dumped herself after the loss of her arm. Rumored to have recovered and ran off with Tieria "The Trap" Erde, who uses her as a sex-slave/maid/tool of masturbation after Tieria gave her new hands. Not known if Shinji will ever have sex with her.

Graham "Fuckagundam" [Cr]Acre[s] - an insane gay gundamophilic man who's only dream is to be able to insert his human-sized dick to a Gundam sized ass. After realizing that this is impossible after burning his dick in the exhaust pipe, he instead decided to make his pathetic cannon-fodder of a mobile suit able to have sex with a Gundam, equipping his giant robot version of Wesley Willis with a GN Penis. He had attempted to rape Setsuna's Gundam, but failed as Setsuna managed to cut off his GN Penis. Graham lost all will to fight after that and supposedly died, but will probably return in Gundam 00 wearing a mask, and a revamped GN Penis. Rumored to also be gay to Billy Katagiri.

Billy Katagiri - a Canadian/Japanese cross-breed. His ancestor is believed to be Dwight D.Eisenhower, who had sex with a Japanese woman in the Second World War and never called her back. Likes to have an amazingly long hair, equal to Duo Maxwell from Gundam Wing, and is rumored due to the fact that it is undoubtedly, uncuttable. When his building went BOOOM!!, guess what, his hair is still intact!!! Loves Sumeragi, probably beacuse of her boobs, and he constantly stares at them when they meet. Sumeragi, however, is not interested him and so, he became gay. With Graham "Fuckagundam" [Cr]Acre[s].

Patrick Coleslaw - Some European guy who puts cockroaches to shame. Not only does he eat them, he has gained their Uber GOd Invincibility's hacks. His cockroach powers were powerful enough to withstand a thorough assrape from Tieria. He also wants to rape everything he sees including Gundams. May be the brother of Ali Al Suckass, due the fact that they both pilot the tic-tac Entact,the fact that they want to rape gundams, and the red hair. He is the bitch of Kathy, who he is very attracted to despite her blatant masculinity. Like all the other male characters in this show, he is probably gay and is just mistaking her for a man in the first place. Possible reasons he sucks at everything includes the possibility that he is French, which would explain EVERYTHING.

Ali Al Suckass - Not so typical Crazy red-haired evil man who bribed setsuna, in exchange for a blowjob, had him kill his entire family.Raped and killed Shinji's sister. Rumoured to be a "fuckagundam" also, trying to fuck Ex-shi'ia everytime they fight. However, as he did not have a GN penis, he got pissed and killed the whole trinity team (except the hot emo chick), stole a gundam and strated to rape more and more mobile suits. However, ex-shi'ia fucked him back with the first live sex act of TransAm and Ali had to give up fucking for a while and he went back to masturbating.After repairs, he had 8 fangs penises that can pierce any gundam and their cum can burn through any metal.


List of the Deceased

  • Lockon (died cause he went blind in one eye from masturbating)
  • Cristie (died cause she could not have hot robot sex)
  • Lchibozhioum (that guy from the bridge, hes a robot)
  • the gay doctor (his death was FABULOUS)
  • Shinji's sister (was raped by Ali Al Suckass, who also died)
  • Louises parent and rest of her family (HAHA shes an orphan)
  • Haro's gay lover
  • the guy who made the Gundams
  • the Trinities (except the hot emo chick who usually kills anyone she sees if anyone should die it should be her, and was rumored to be a clone of Flay Alster from WEED)
  • Howard Mason (was attemptedly avenged by the token black guy who also died)
  • Daryl Dash (African American Islamist, crashed his suit at Dynames)
  • and thousand of other people (damn these ppl suck at peace)

Gundam 00 Second Season[edit]

The stupid world continue to spin four years after they rape Celestial Being and killed most of them after the job.

1) Earth Sphere Federation: Your typical evil empire looking to expand itself and dominant the galaxy (eventually, in season 2 they are having trouble conquering the world). Authoritarian and controls the population through propaganda and keeping them docile with consumer goods. Controlled by the superior Innovators.

2) A-Laws: The Autonomous War-Mongering Force, commits war crimes and is the strength behind the Empire ... sorry, Federation. They are also secretly controlled by these shady Innovator characters. They have advanced technology such as Momento Mori, a super ray-gun, the Ahead mobile suit, aircraft carriers and space cruisers that actually look like they are made for war (unlike the shoe-box spaceships from the first season).

3) Kataron: The Rebel Alliance / Anti-Government forces that impose the Empire / Federation. Nothing else worthy of noting, aside from the fact they suck and always lose battles.

4) Coup Forces: Disgruntled military faction that tries to blow up the orbital elevator for fun.

5) The Innovators: A shady organization of feminine-looking guys who control the Federation and A-Laws.

Setsuna FUCKING Seiei - AKA Setsuna F. Snake(Upgraded version). Be afraid, be very afraid. The crossbreed between a human and a Gundam is back for more gay action. Proven to be gaying around with shinji for four years after getting raped. New abilities of him has been shown on the first episode of second season such as instant teleportation...where he teleported to earth from space to find the replacement of his first gay partner - Lockon Stratos at the end of episode one. He can also teleport his own mobile suit and has god-like powers inside of it, as he cured everyone that had an incurable deseise and also change the world. Was seen mimicing Old Snake from MGS4 while trying to find and save Saji. He also seems to be in telepathy with Tieria "The Trap" Erde as proven they can sense each other. His new Gundam, 00 Riser (not to be confused with Gundam 00 neither 00 Gundam or 0 Riser, the same for 0 Gundam) has the ability to learn every people thoughts and sexual measures. For instance, he learned about the tiny size of Saji's cock and Louise breasts, while they were trying to do static sex on the back of his Gundam. He is so powerful that in the last episode of the series, he lifted a GN Drive and rebuilt Gundam Exia from the ashes in a matter of 10 seconds. Aside from the Immortal Colassour, he is the only one who can survive any fatal-explosion caused by Gundam fights. More new abilities to be shown in the Gundam 00 Movie that will premiere in 2010.

Strapon Rockabs' - AKA The "Dan Henderson" Dylandy. After suffering his right eye from masturbation, he miraculously crawled back from the dead when Master chief found his dead body in Hawaii after Lockon crash-landed there. Surprisingly he survived the crash, and as a matter of fact, partied and rocked on stage after the season 1 was over. After 4 years of partying and playing around (Which includes joining Kataron so he could lock-on to Shirin), he finally gets recruited by Setsuna at the same time watching Dr.Phil and doing a blow-up doll of Tieria "THe Trap".

After Lockon gets hired by Setsuna to join celestial being, he is introduced to the crew members, but unfortunately he does not remember his friends from the past due to excessive booze/kinky screwdriving for the past 4 years. Shortly after that, he gets the Keldim "The cubicle" gundam and tries to hit on Feldt Grace again by coercion, only to get his man gems wrecked in the process. He has sex with Anew Returner on OP2 of the second season, making Kira Yamato jealousy now that "Hardcore" ON has hardcore action.

Graham "Fuckagundam" Acre Mr. Bushido - The usual Gundam masked villan. No one knows who he/she really is, his identidy is one of the series mysterys and it's probably never going to be revealed. He looks like Graham Acre, but it can't be him since he died in the end of the first season. Mr.Bushido was the first and only one to complety master Trans GrahAM, an overpower Gundam technique that allows him to beat every fucking Mobile Suit, but not his own. Trans GrahAM it's moRe red, more shiny, has more particles, so it's more powerfull than transAM. He also wears sexy clothes when not on duty.

Ribbons "Cannone" Almarks- AKA: God The mastermind and the reason why Gundam 00 exists. He was born with a penis the size of an earthworm and thus was given the name "Ribbons". He has an entire harem of sex slaves/innovators whom he has gay sex with on a regular basis. He also had a past with Setsuna when he was just a boy ribbons suck the dick of setsuna and setsuna said to him, Oh!! Gundam. That is why Ogundam is the first gundam.

See Also[edit]