Hadrian's Wall

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“Build me a wall”

~ Emperor Hadrian on keeping out Rod Stewart

Hadrian's Wall, built by the SNP from 122 AD onwards rests on the bolder between England and Scotland, and should be getting up any time soon or else it'll be missing work.

In the artists impression of Hadrian's Wall above, you can make out the opposing forces fighting over a section of the wall. The army on the right are dressed in blue, as the Picts of the time would daub themselves blue before committing to battle as a means of scaring the enemy.

All About Walls[edit]

As far as walls go, it's underrated. Roman Emperor Hadrian's Wall is less popular than the Great Wall of China but still very nice since it's not as crowded, though business has gone up since the Berlin Wall was taken down for spoiling the view.

Modern historians and fuckwads have a number of alternative (read: wrong) theories about the origins of Hadrian's Wall. Some say it was named after guitarist Hadrian Belew, actor Hadrian Zmed, or the very popular (insert other person's name named Adrian, but with the name misspelled "Hadrian," here).

One common theory is that the wall was erected to protect the English from Scottish football fans rampaging over the border, but many a Roman Centurion has cast doubt on this claiming that they wanted England to "look tidy".

According to historians of ancient Chinese heritage Hadrian's Wall was built to protect China from invading parties, but seeing that the builder of the wall was Irish, he got drunk the day before, and built it in England. The lesson learned: Don't let an Irish man build your wall, because it might end up 6,000 miles away from where it was intended to be.

Others suggest, due to the wall being a mere 4 feet high, that the wall was built by traitorous and drunken Irish mason, hired by the English, to keep out leprechauns who then dominated most of Scotland. This theory is widely accepted amongst the leprechauns, as it is a cornerstone of their religion, leprechaunism.

See Also[edit]