Hale

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Hale
Hello pogi!
Origin Macho Pop
Genre Boy Band, Gay
Years Active Still sexually active as of the moment
Label(s) Haller
Associated Acts Emo style fellatio
Website http://www.hale.com/iloveyouchamp




Hale is a band from the Philippines. They are all gay. And when I say gay, I mean screaming fag gay.

History[edit]

Champ flaunting his gayness: He's proving to the whole gay community that he's still not infected with HIV by sticking out his "candida albicans free" tongue. Notice his eyes are set too far apart

On July 2004, Hale was formed form a concoction of gay semen in a gay bar. Instead of going indie and performing in underground gigs, Hale focused on being gay. With only less than half a year playing as a band, Hale was officially declared as the progenitor of everything that is gay in Philippine music on November by Macho Pop Gay bar in Cubao. On the first quarter of 2005, Hale released their first single Broken Back Mountain Sonnet along with their gayness, and transformed everything that is manly to gay. It was not until their second single The Day You Said Good Nahaaaayyyy that Hale stared to gain attention from the bi-curious men from all over the archipelago.

Soon, their debut album went from gay gold (20,000 copies sold), to platinum gay (40,000), to double platinum gay (80,000) - this corresponded to the total number of gay-ass men in the country. With two hit singles under their crotch, they released two more ejaculations. Hale became known as the gayest band in the Philippines breaking the record of sister band Cueshe.

They continue to perform oral sex. By the first quarter of 2006, Hale released their repackaged album, along with another single to get more blow jobs. And due to their success, they were proclaimed "Favorite New Artist in a Video with fellatio" at the 2005 Fellatio Pilipinas Video Music Awards and were nominated for the title of "Favorite Artist Philippines doing fellatio" at the 2006 Bakla Awards.



Music *GAY!* Style[edit]

Champ is infected with the gay: Look Ma! No Candidiasis! Roccckkkerzzzz \m/ LOLZ!

Hale now hits off melodiously well with a hopelessly romantic Filipino audience because the majority of the male population have gay tendencies. Their impact is felt everywhere like a woddy on your ass every time you hear their song “Broken Back Mountain Sonnet” (which isn't even written like a sonnet) and “The Day You Said Good Naaaahaaaayyyy”-- the songs that have sent young bi-curious if not gay pumping into gay asses.

This is what makes Hale extremely popular amongst jologs, especially in the southern part of the Metro (Las Penis, Alabangbus and Parañapuque).

Their musical influences include a diverse eclectic group of musicians ranging from Paco Arrespacochaga, Diomedes Maturan, Ruben Tagalog, The Gelboys, B.A.D.A.F, Hagibis, The Hunks, Michael Jackson, Chupa-Choops and Richard Merk.

The band also claim influences from highly technical progressive rock bands such as Dream Theater. [1] Don’t be deceived by such claims – their music alone is a testament of their incompetence. They don't know the difference between the harmonic minor scale and the hole in the ground, so don't ask them music theory related questions, it will make them cry. When asked for a comment about Hale citing them as an influence, Dream Theater guitarist John Petrucci exclaimed “WTF! Putang ina!!!!”.

On another note, what the fuck is wrong with Champ's eyes?

Albums[edit]

Year Title Certification
2005 Haller Triple X - Dirty Sanchez Award
2006 Haller & Chuva (Special Edition) Manlover.com certified
2006 - 2007 Gay in the Twilight, Man in the Sunlight Prince Albert Golden Ring Awardee
2007 Dildo Lovers Boy Abunda's Special Awardee

Singles[edit]

Year Title Chart Rank
2005 Broken Back Mountain Sonnet #7 in Jay Justiniani's ass
2005 The Day You Said Good Nahaaaayyyy #1 (8 weeks in Ruben Caballero's mouth)
2005 Kahit Pa Hindi Ka Labasan #1 (8 seconds lang: premature ejaculation)
2005 Kung Wala Ka, Bibigyan Kita ng 500 Machupa Lang Kita #1 (4 weeks in Sogo Motel Guadalupe)
2006 Toll Gate (Pahipo Naman) #2 in Boy Abunda's Memories
2006 Blue Sky Flakes #4 in Carriedo
2006 Waltzupah #1 (3 weeks in Macho Pop)
2007 Hide & Seek (Pag Nahanap Kita Chuchupain Kita Hayup Ka) #4 in German Moreno's scandals
2007 Shooting Semen n/a (no awards because it is only semi-gay)
2007 Show Time ft. Cueshe #5 (24hrs in Rice Field with Cueshe(hardcore!)
Hale: (L-R) Bomber Moran, E.T., some homeless bystander (WTFOMGLOLZ!), Michael Kelso