Hammer space

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“Did that Coyote just pull a Hammer out of his ass!?”

~ Bill Gates on watching the Road Runner show for the first time

“Thank Batgod for my Bat-Hamer-Space pocket on my Bat-utility belt”

~ Batman on Hammer Space and its use to store all his Bat-equipement


~ Link on how much he loves his hammer space bag

Hammer Space is a nifty little invention that has spared the lives of cartoon writers and under-paid Korean artists for generations. The idea came about when a young but large breasted japanese school girl wanted to hit someone with a large hammer, but couldn't fit one in her bag because it was too small and had far too many 'Hello Kitty' weapons inside it anyway. Toiling away in her secret lab, she created a plot hole that allowed her to pull out any excessivly large item from behind her back. She died aged 12 at the hands of an excited hentai fan.


Hammer Space provides people of a limited number of dimensions to carry about all sorts of weaponry. It has been suggested that Iraq employed this technology, but that's just being silly. Hammer Space can indeed carry large weapons but they never do any damage that isn't reversed by the next scene. Besides, who would of taken Saddam seriously if he wore a sailor outfit? Not me that's for sure!

Hammer Space has also been used by video game characters such as all those 'gangstas' from GTA. Although it is thought that those shotguns are stuffed into their anal cavities. Sounds silly, but consider how many people are willing to peel apart Rockstar's buttock cheeks and shove their noses right in! Not so unreasonable now huh?

Hammers that can be stored in Hammer Space[edit]

The regular hammers that are stored in Hammer Space always have to fit a general mould. It's not set in stone, but to defy convention is just unthinkable. If you're thinking about it then my advice is that you get a hair cut and join the army!

Back to subject, the hammers must be big. Very big. The biggest hammers that you'll ever see. So big that you can't even contemplate how really big they are. Bigger than the Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy in fact. It is also presumed that they must be very light, as they must be able to be swung so fast that you miss a couple of frames of animation. However lets be honest: as long as the kids stay off crack, nobody will notice a glitch in the matrix.

Other weapons can be stored in Hammer Space. This novel idea was introduced by the Looney Toons, who were famous for storing things like anvils and repetitive jokes in it. This was stopped however by Chuck Norris who kicked them so hard that they lost a dimension. Being now invisible to the human eye, the stopped being cool. Blame basketball, that's all I say.

Other notable things stored in Hammer Space include rocket launchers, five pointed stars, science-defying gizmos and my old IT teacher's ignorance (which was bigger than him, an amazing thing really considering how fat all IT teachers are)