Hampden

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The old Hampden Park as seen in 1976

Hampden Park (not to be confused with a suburb of Eastbourne in East Sussex) is a stadium in Glasgow, Scotland commonly referred to as the S.E.C.C and is Scotland's main concert venue for major superstars such as Robbie Williams, Eminem, Rod Stewart and occasionally former Runrig frontman Donnie Munroe giving a rendition of Flower of Scotland if Scotland ever get the chance to play there.

About the Ground[edit]

When the ground is not being used for concerts or as a stockcar racing circuit, Scotland FC often play some of their home football games here. The ground with a capicity of 52,103 (or 52,101 if Big Tam comes along) is the home of Queen's Park Rangers who only ever require a ground to seat 600 people but thought it might be funny to build a large stadium in a place called Mt Florida. Behind Hampden today are the remnants of Cathkin Park, the old Hampden that crumbled along with the now defunct side of Second Lanark before they actually moved to Lanark to become Third Lanark.

Hampden Park was the largest stadium in the world until 1950, when Partick Thistle moved into their new ground at Firhill on the Maryhill side of Glasgow. The old ground needed to demolished after defeat to England on home soil, similar to Wembley Stadium in London which was demolished because the English lost two games on the trot to both Scotland and Germany, the last games to be played there. On opening of the new Hampden, the Scottish national team played their inaugural match against World champions France which turned out to be a stupid thing to do seeing as Thierry Henry 'gubbed' them.

The Hampden Roar[edit]

The ancient Hampden Castle.

After the NHS wanting to reduce the number of Scotland fans exposed to watching the normal shite on the pitch, another reason for the rebuilding of Hampden was due to the Hampden Roar. Several fans over the years (both home and away) had reported a terrifying roar coming from beneath the old main stand which was thought to have been that of a monster living inside. However, after closer inspection of the ground blueprints it was discovered that Hampden Park had been build on the grounds of the haunted Hampden Castle (pictured right) which had been demolished to create space for the football ground. To this day, the SFA (Stupid Feckin Arseholes) still do not know the true cause of the Hampden Roar, but their best guess so far is that it is the cry of the late Jock Stein turning in his grave who once lived in the castle before his heart attack.

The Road to Hampden[edit]

A section of the Road to Hampden northbound towards Wick Academy

The Road to Hampden is the longest road in Scotland, a term normally used in relation to the Scottish Cup when referring to the route that teams must drive down to Glasgow to go to meetings at the Hampden offices. The road starts at Wick in Caithness where Scotland's most northerly team Wick Academy FC play. The road then goes down through Inverness and down the A9 to Perth (bypassing Aberdeen and Dundee who never need the Road to Hampden anyway) before finishing in Glasgow.


Stadium Records[edit]

  • 1937 - Attendance 149,547 : Scotland v England (British Home Championship) - highest in Europe.
  • 1937 - Attendance 146,433 : Celtic v Aberdeen (Scottish Cup Final) - highest for a club match in Europe.
  • 1992 - Attendance 176: Queens Park v Brechin City (Scottish Division Three) - highest for a Queens Park match.
  • 2003 - Attendance 2,345: Scotland V Netherlands (European Championship Playoffs) - highest for a Scotland game with Berti Vogts in charge.
  • 2005 - Pies Eaten: 102,054: Gretna V Heart of Midlothian (Scottish Cup Final) - most mince pies eaten (and glory hunters to turn up) in a single game. The most pies eaten by one person was Christian Nade who managed 76,840 of the pies