The Harlem Globetrotters are a nonwhite badass hip hop dance group who are known for adding a basketball to their repitore and causing fans to have multiple orgasms due to their fantastic performances on the court. They were founded in part by Bill Cosby and Johnny Cochran beating all other teams using only their feet and dicks. Of course it just so happened that all the other teams only had white players, and the negros got lucky. After that the Globetrotters or the HG Thugs as they would also be known traveled around black America, playing pickup teams in a new form of basketball/dance that would become known as gang violence. Since 1929, their official record is 9246 wins and -2 losses. They were also featured in an episode of Scooby Doo entitled, Scooby Doo sees a Black Person.
Civil Rights Movement
During the civil rights movement of the 1960s, popular black guy Martin Luther King Jr., enlisted the help of the Globetrotters in order to increase the gang violence that was slowing in the big urban cities to create a diversion while MLK secretly gave blacks and other colors the right to vote. The HG Thugs went on a two year tour to Oakland, Detroit, Washington DC, the South and Africa, stirring up racial unrest all over. Such gangs as the Crips, Bloods and the YMCA spawned from this tour. Although MLK is credited with the actual actions leading to getting minorities the right to vote, it could not have happened without the HG Thugs.
The HG Thugs have made numerous allies throughout their travels. It is said that to become an ally of the Globetrotters, your team must down forty 40's and an entire farm's worth of fried chicken before the Globetrotters rob the nearest convenience store. Some of their most notable allies are the Crips, Bloods, YMCA, A-Team, the Bush Administration, the Black Panthers, and Dora the Explorer. However with all their wins there are still some who have sided in the front of the bus against the Globetrotters, including the Nazi Party, Whites, Asians, the Bush Administration, Blue Man Group, and the number 5.
- Chubbsy Malones- gangleader during the 1929-1961 seasons, who scored over 1,000,000 points in over forty seasons, until he was shanked to death by a homie who was trippin.
- Johnny Cochran
- Wilt Chamberlain- used 6 feet tall stilts to stand 19 feet tall over most competitors.
- Bill Cosby - Yes actually Bill Cosby. He has a $1-per-annum lifetime contract. Seriously.
- Yao Ming- after transferring from the Yakuza Chopstixx.
- Snoop Dogg
- Tupac- most kills in a game, 27.
- Notorious B.I.G.
- Alex Rodriguez- most steals in a game, 61 (purses and wallets).
- Mr. T- pitied the fool who balled against Mr. T.
- Michael Jordan
- Ronald Reagan
- Your Mom- Their Best Cheerleader
- Bing Crosby- Sang their entrance song