Harriet Harperson

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Harriet Harperson.

Harriet Harperson is the leader of the Labour party. She will lead the Labour party until they choose a Miliband or an Ed (or perhaps both) sometime this year. During her period of leadership she has pioneered many new Labour Party initatives, such as being in opposition, having a vagina and hating the Liberal Democrats as much as Tories.

Early Life[edit]

As a young girl, Harperson quickly realised that she had a vagina, and her little boy friends had willies. This struck her as a fundamentally unfair situation, and from that point onwards she swore vengence towards those with willies.

Harriet Harman attended a school that was posh enough to make sure that she could have a career in politics, but not so posh that she would end up being one of those hated Tories.

Political Career[edit]

Harriet Harperson has found that in many government portfolios it's possible to be really, really sexist against men and get away with it because she has a vagina. From her early postings as Secretary of State for Social Security, where she ensured that women get more benefits than men, to her latter postings as Justice Minister, and Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, Harriet Harperson has consistently ensured that men are systematically punished for their evil offence of being born with a willy.

Deputy Leader of the Labour Party[edit]

Harperson was elected Deputy Leader of Labor with an overwhelming 50.5% of the vote of the Labour party electoral college. In fact, her victory was so great that she was behind in every single round of the election until the sixth and final round.

In her role as Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, Harperson has been asked to become acting Leader of the Labour party. Of course, it would be totally unfair for a person to run a political party just because they were in the right place at the right time, but it does start to look a bit suspicious when Labour hasn't had a leadership election since 1994, running through three leaders and thirteen years of government before finally having a leadership election contested between two Eds, two Milibands and a token leftie.

Other Activities[edit]

  • Harperson is an avid amateur medic, often performing circumscisions and castrations at no cost to the recipient.
  • Harperson very much enjoys Judo, competeing at such a high level that she trains with an all male team. Harperson has been nicknamed 'Slipped Foot Harperson', for her repeated, and ultimately hilarious accidental mis-kicks, when she accidently kicks her training buddies in the dick.
  • Harperson is studying for a PhD in Gender Identification Studies, and is writing her doctorate on the process of Male to Female gender reassignment surgeries.