On the long winding road of literary success, leading from "Ye Hornae Chimney Sweep" (1632) until Chuck Norris's recently published book (which is obviously the pinnacle of the proverbial mountain) there is one genre that swept the world by surprise- Healthcare-related Sonnets. The source of these are obviously sacred in nature, but are rumored to originate from a little Chinese man name Bubba. The inspiration they provide has cured cancer, cleaned floors and even managed to reduce temporarily the Tight European Clothing phenomenon in Asia. The one person who really helped the Healthcare Sonnet to take off, however, was Freud, who wrote them during the early stages of his disappearance.
Everyone knows that all real poetry does not require an actual structure. Besides haikus. Which aren't really poetry anyways. However, the sonnet must be inspired by a healthcare-related product. Anything goes. Rhymes, beats, syllables and more all fall before the mere inclusion of the healthcare product.
Like a toothbrush so fine, eradicating plaque, you aid my teeth in all that they lack. Like a tree that does crave for a warm blanket of moss, you stroke my heart, with slim waxen floss. I spill out my soul to you, all in a dream, waiting and craving for your dental hygiene.
Oh sunscreen, oh sunscreen, thy protection and might, is all that does get me through this ultraviolet night. Like a knight of times long forgotten in years, thy presence dost bury away all my fears. It is for you I do live, for you I do die, your with me always, SPF 25.
My lips are cracked, dried and bruised, my heart and my body do yearn for you. My tongue is a demon, damaging with every lick, until you come along, my shining chapstick. With a counterclockwise spin of your base, tenderly applied to my aching face, I am free to run and free to roam, through the meadows all the way home.
Herbal Essence does beckon, on horizon yonder, the beautiful danger of lightining and thunder. In thy full-bodied hair, I do take refuge, while with great dexterity, dandruff thy elude. For whilst for moisturizer there may be, a great necessity, it the smell of shampoo, that draws me to you