Herdonacity

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What is "Herdonacity"?[edit]

"Herdonacity" is a term which goes hand-in-hand with "chick magnet" "smooth" and "let me touch your balls". It is the style, finesse, and utter benevolence which one must use to be attractive to women and bovine animals.

Rather than acting abusive toward a female, Herdonacity implies that one pay little attention to females, but slightly more attention than a teenage boy at South Beach during Spring Break. Isaac Newton has been quoted as saying: "The amount of attention needing to be paid is really a fine line, much like the thread used to weave my thong."

It's a well-known fact that television celebrity Paula Zahn nearly did a story on Herdonacity, but she was brainwashed by haters into doing a lifetime of stories about beekeepers losing business being worse than racism. Though it hasn't received quite the media attention it deserves, "Herdonacity" is nonetheless an important factor in today's society.

What Makes Herdonacity So Effective?[edit]

There are many speculations as to just what Herdonacity is made up of, and why it's so effective. Most credible theories (those submitted by non-married pimpz) include charm, charisma, confidence, condoms, a six-gallon vat of spermicide, and the ability strip completely naked in under six seconds.

Combined, all of these elements comprise a man who is irresistible to women.

How to Successfully Execute a Herdonacity-laced Move[edit]

Though pop-culture icon Al Gore will say otherwise, Herdonacity requires an incredibly large amount of reconnaissance. Though it's desirable to men to be able to dash in and sweep a girl off her feet, one of the core strategies behind Herdonacity is discovering more about a girl than even Mel Gibson thought possible.

"It's beneficial," writes Sandra Day O'Conner "to know just about everything there is to know about a girl. Herdonacity is the reason I married my husband at 92. He was ugly, true, but he had a 6-gallon vat of spermicide. I just couldn't say "no" to that. But, back on topic. He knew my favorite flower, my dogs name, my favorite song, he knew that I was lactose intolerant, he took me out for a milk shake and then we sat in the Congressional library and read court cases from the 1850's. He just knew everything about me."

Justice William Rehnquist wrote a dissenting opinion, but no one cared because he was a total nerd and couldn't get any poontang if he'd tried.

Contrary to popular belief, Herdonacity doesn't require the writ memorization of pick-up lines. "Pick-up lines are hardly, if ever, used," says expert theologist Reverend Al Sharpton. "I mean, look, pick-up lines are even worse than a honky dropping the N-bomb in Compton. When I hear someone use a really bad line it just transcends the police-brutality on blacks back in the '90s. It's just terrible."

It has been noted that one of the keys to successfully using Herdonacity lies in the ability to think on ones feet. For example, if one of the girls you're trying to seduce says, "sour candy makes my mouth water," the proper reply (Herdonacity included) would be "Your face makes my mouth water." However, this method is subject to the typical female-filter system. If she says "What a perfectly hideous piece of rotten banana!" It would not be considered very Herndonastic to reply "Your face is a perfectly hideous piece of rotten banana." If you come upon a situation like this, think over the Russian Reversal in your head before speaking and see whether or not this would be beneficial or detrimental if spoken.

Herdonacity in History[edit]

Herdonacity accounts for many relationships in the past. For example, the late Anna Nicole Smith married her husband due to an exponential amount of Herdonacity. "I don't know what came over me," her diary is reported as saying. "One moment I was dancing on my pole, the next thing I know I hear 'what's your name?' I turned around and he was holding a box of condoms in one hand and his member in the other."

Other experts include Dr. Dorian Gray, Isaac Newton, Alberto Gonzales, and Oscar Wilde.