Hero's Vocal Cords
Hero's vocal cords is a condition suffered by many video game characters. While most often attributed to RPG's this condition has been rapidly spreading to other genres since the 1990's. It was discovered in 1933 by a band of local goat beaters while they roamed the country side searching for an endless supply of dicking creme. Instead of finding thier beloved creme, they stumbled across this horrible affliction. The most common symptom of this disease is the inability to talk in a situation where you could be considered a "hero". However, this has no effect on females, because there's really no way you can get a chick to shut up. Other illnesses common in heros are savepeopleidontevenknowitis and insomnia
A cure for Hero's vocal chords could possibly be in the works. Chief researcher at the University of Chuck Norris' beard, Professor Michael Bolton, was experimenting with removed erasers from the ends of pencils. He discovered that the sub-molecular structure of the eraser matched that of a rare orchid found in the wilds of Robin Williams' back. The orchid is known to give the person who comes near it the ability to speak at such a pitch, that concrete will transform into a liquid. If this effect can be neutralized normal speech could be possible. Pencil erasers are much more common than the orchid so the cure will not cost that much.