Hey Arnold!

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search


No Wikipedia.png
Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Hey Arnold!. We are sorry they insist on being this lame.

Hey Arnold! was an American animated television series on Nickelodeon from October 7, 1996 through June 8, 2004 (initial run in US). File:HeyArnold 2.jpg


Created by Martha Stewart, and based on her clay animation shorts on Sesame Street and comics, the show stars grade-schooler Arnold, who lives with his grandparents Phil Collins and Gertrude, a psychotic woman who often rummages around in dark alley ways.

Arnold is the main character of the show. At age nine, Arnold takes the subway, walks to school, skips school, goes the the other side of town, and kidnaps giant sea turtles. Some may think, "Wow! What an adventurous little boy," but I think, "What is this world coming to."

Mr. Hey Arnold lives in "The Boarding House". he resides there with several old men, who often sneak into his room in the middle of the night. Arnold has a pet owl called Hedwig, and a godfather who goes by the name of Voldemort. Arnold's ex-lover, Helga Pakistan, daughter of Hitler and Judy Garland, causes much controversy for the show. During the nineteen-hundredth season, Helga almost blew her secret that her father beats her. The entire show is centered around this secret, and Helga goes against all possible odds not to reveal this to Arnold. Helga even has a secret shrine ode to her father.

Oh, The Mysteries (Characters)[edit]

Arnold has no last name. His parents were lost in a jungle adventure. There were a few episodes in which Arnolds last name was almost revealed, but it would have been to shocking for young viewers. Arnold is distantly related to Anna Nicole Smith.

Helga Pataki's Brothers

Helga Pataki Helga Patiki is most commonly known for her prominent unibrow. Helga likes to go out in public and scare young children, and rob the jolly olly man. She loves dressing up as pieces of meat an/or milk cartons. You can often find her in the dark alley way with monkey man getting her groove on Voiced By Mel Blanc.

Geraldo Ford Anorlds arch-nemisis and fuck buddy, he often is found passed out the subway. The other half the time, he is found spraying milk out of his nose, because of frequent cocaine usage. His hair is shaped like a can, and it is approximatley 10 ft tall. He tries to grow an afro, but it ends up sort of, well, rectangular. His brother is an all star baseball player, who is commonly assosiated with Mickey Rooney, another oddball on the show. His father is known as Henry Ford, (aka Lil' Scrappy Kool J Ford) founder of the ever popular Ford Motors.

File:Ohone.jpg Pheobe Higher-Than-Ya'll Pheobe H.T.Y, is actually the biggest slut on the entire show. She be wearnin them little skirtz and nobody knowz if she be wearin anythang unda-neath. Ohh man. Pheobe, sometimes trys to put out a 'good girl' image. She has glasses, and gets straight A's. Only because she pays her teachaas with shall we say, sexual favors. Her father, Michael-Molestois part asian, part alien. No one really knows fo' sho. Her mother is a french prostitute. You can see a sample of her younger years here. She hustles drugs on the streets, and she has been shot in the brain seventy times to this date.

Rhonda-Little Richie Well well well where can we begin about Rhonda. Rhonda was born and raised in southern Mississippi. She was part of the slave trade and grew up with famous folks like Harriet Tubman & Rosa Parks (because they totally lived in teh same time period). She was beaten and abused by the McDonalds clown, hence her fear of chicken McNuggests. During the cold war, Rhonda's eyes fell out. She then started wearing glass eyes. In the 34th season (the Jurassic season), she became ill... and died. Her parents did not mourn for they hated her. They instead adpoted Helga's older sister (Olga) into the family.

The show currently does NOT air at 6 am on the nicktoons channel, it only airs when it feels like it and on Christmas.