Until then, neither Uncyclopedia nor the original author of this article condone racism in any form.
“Americans should love this racism!”
“After going on a Redneck Rampage, I decided to work for Hickelodeon”
Hickelodeon (AKA Hickkkelodeon, and Nickkkelodeon) is a spinoff of Nickelodeon in which a white audience is targeted. The network was started by a bunch of redneck hillbillies who have tried to protect valuable farmland and try to make extra money off redneck advertising. The rednecks have advertised so many products, that the price of their farm crops has gone down!
This network has the WHITE POWER marketing for kids programs that almost eliminate all niggers from the shows. 66.6% of the network's funding comes from people who pay to be part of Ku Klux Klan rallies. Many people join the Ku Klux Klan so they can support the network as the network who is desperate for money takes advantage of mass racism in this world.
Often times, cross burning is done to power the electrical generator so the produkkktion crew can offset the cost of their electric bill as many workers of power companies happen to be black, so they stay "off the grid" for the personal secuirty.
The produkkktion crew also drives rusty pickup trucks because they know that their other honkie friends repair the trucks and trust their honkie repairmen more since they manage to avoid professional repair garages which are infested with nigger employees that they stay away from at all costs. The Jews have tried to set fire to the studio, so vigilantes have been protecting the place since too many real cops are niggers that they hate, so they avoid dealing with police stations that contain niggers working at them. Another way the network maintains racist unification of individuals is that they put swastikas all over the building.
Hickelodeon really does a good job using racism as an excuse to make their programming more cost-effective. Post-WWII nazis continued being Nazis and Neo-Nazis have been into Hickelodeon as a way to regulate the funding of Hickelodeon since they have been able to spend $6,900 instead of a $69,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 million billion trillion quadrillion quintillion septillion decillion hexadecillion bazillion kajillion niggabajillion quadrillion to the googolplex power to the googleplex power budget like the major broadcasting networks have done. Instead of having security guards or rent-a-cops at the broadcasting studios, the Neo-Nazis are vigilantes that scare away crooks and saboteurs from valuable evidence against secret defamation against minority groups. Rumor has it the money to start the network came from the proceeds of selling paintings that the Nazis stole from museums in the countries they occupied.
List of TV shows on Hickelodeon
- Rocko's Honkie Life - a honkie who hangs out with a mutant steer with the ability to talk, who lives on his farm.
- The Hick Cannon Show - a show about a farmer who develops a cannon that can shoot remains of cattle as the projectiles. He invents this type of cannon so he can save bazillion tonnes of weaponry steel a year from weapon production facilities.
- Hey Honkie Dude - a show about a racist whitey outlaw who lives in the desert.
- You KKKan't Do That On Television - a secretly broadcast Hickelodeon program that depicts hardcore KKK imagery that cannot be seen on regular TV.
- Are You Afraid of The Darks? - a program where the midnight society of the KKK, while during cross burning tells campfire stories of how they are the "ghosts" that spook what they call spooks.
- Legends of the Hood Temple - a game show where KKK ghosts pick a sword fight with armed nigs in the hood.
- HonkBob CrackPants - a story about a clumsy hick redneck who's pants exposes the ugly buttcrack of stereotyped rednecks, and has a friend named Patrick who is often naked and is a fag who wears women's boyshorts!
- Ken and Kelly - a comedy show and duo who tell redneck jokes to each other and spread racist gossip about niggers that they never see.
- Monster Trucksy - a show about a redneck watermelon and a redneck trapped in Camp Nigger.
- Hick! The Cracky Hog - this show has an adventure with a hillbilly who is afraid of the evil nigger-cat named, Sambo. And no, not Rambo! So, Hick does something of what the KKK did. No really, because he's a fucking redneck, y'all!
- All Vat - a bunch of honkies sit in a hot-tub and talk about their racist social life. Pierre Escargot sits in the bathtub to teach them the French language. They are taught French so they can allow French speaking people to work for the network.
- Buzzin' Skeeter - A spinoff from South Park (coincidentally also from a network by Viacom) which features the really racist redneck Skeeter who sometimes lies about not being racist just as an excuse for random violence, one time he made fun of Randy Marsh by calling him "Nigger guy".
- The Armada Show - a show about a groove armada of whiter fighters who try to infiltrate gang territory and steal bundles of cash.
- Schulzford - a show about a guy named Kosmo K. Kramer and his friend Jerry Seinfeld. This show is about their involvement in the KKK. (Jerry pretends his last name is Schulzford to hide his Jewish heritage). They maintain secret, mutually-exploitative relationships with a Gypsy prostitute named Elaine, and a shadowy little Jewish con-man named George. Most of the plots revolve around Jerry and Kramer keeping their fellow Klansmen from meeting George and Elaine, and keeping Jerry's ethnic identity from being discovered. They also visit the Soup Nazi at the nearby cafe, who is alleged to have illegal aliens of various "inferior races" enslaved in his kitchen.
- Moe, Moe and Moe - a show about 3 crazy-ass rednecks with the voice of Michael Richards. They keep away from a teenage nigger... always.
- Welcome to Alabamaland - a creature named Neek (made from the combined DNA of a Klansman and a nigger) gets sucked into Alabamaland. There, he watches out for a Vulture-Shark. Or in this case, a vulture-nigger.
- Rakes and Jocks - a bunch of rednecks who rake the lawn for $$$ hang out with racist shock jocks that stereotype how a black man's penis is the same as a turd. Which is why they saw Kittyslasher suck poop on Newgrounds.
- Hey Arnold! - A show about a Terminator named Arnold who shot a nigger. A nigga from the hood named Jarold tries to exterminate this fuck while Arnold's friend Harold is a human bully who tries to prove to niggaz that his machine friend is immune to human melee fights. A decoy girl says "Hell guy, attack me!", so she can divert the machine away from the defenseless niggaz.
- Aaahh! Real Monster Trucks!!! - A show about a guy who refurbishes pickup trucks and SUVs with mechanical problems to be sufficient for Monster Jam monster truck shows! For instance, old chevy trucks that rednecks drive can sometimes be too expensive to repair all at once. So, their limited performance is just enough for the excitement for the monster truck shows. The scare academy repaints the trucks to look newer along with draws monster-like details to give a scare to the Monster Jam audience!
- KKKlarissa Explains it All - a teenage white power KKK girl who makes games about how niggers suck cock.
- Ben is Whimpy - A show about a chihuahua named Ben who gets abducted by a redneck so the redneck can sell it for a 6-figure sum to family members of the Beverly Hillbilles who still live on the local farms. The chihuahua later served the farm by eating bugs and protecting the turf.
- My Gym Partner's a Hillbilly - Alex Redneck, a hillbilly human brings out his KKK monkey to a redneck animal school to keep away from niggers.
- The Angry BBs - A show about an angry redneck who uses a BB-gun to protect saboteurs from a hydroelectric dam that electrifies the farms in the area.
- My Gym Partner's a Honky - Some retards from the school board send a redneck cracker boy named Tyrone Blackman-Negroponte-Boone-Koon to an all black school because of his name. His gym partner is the only nigger in the school to have a gym partner who's a honky. Tyrone gets beaten up a lot for wearing a Confederate Flag t-shirt (which is the only shirt he owns) and for whistling Dixie (which he does when nervous without thinking about it). Still, he sometimes bonds with his gym partner and some of the other kids over their shared love of fried chicken and watermelon.
- Salute Yer Shorts - a show about redneck hillbillies who use raggedy shorts as a flag at the campgrounds.
- The Wild Hornberries - A bunch of rambunctious offspring of a promiscuous honky tonk woman who used to date members of the Rolling Stones play with the truck's horn too much since they think that it scares away rabid raccoons.
- Honkbats - A show about mutant infant rednecks who develop wings so they can fly and potentially render airplanes obsolete.
- iHarley - a show about a redneck who jury rigs his Harley motorbike to operate his iPod. He stops listening to radio altogether has he realizes that modern country music is stupid shit since he thinks Kenny Chesney had an affair with Shania Twain which is why their music has lost danceability for the country music market. So he falls back on the classics from Hank Williams Jr. and Sr.. Besides, he realizes that radio is just going to stop playing music altogether by the end of the decade.
- Camp Honklo - three redneck hillbillies camp out which is called, Camp Hillbilly, so they can keep away from Camp Nigger.
- Jimmy Proton - A show about a filthy rich redneck hillbilly that installs a solar power generator to charge his GMC Jimmy which is modified as a purely electric truck with and to power the farm "off the grid". In effect he sells the cheapest crops in the whole state of Kentucky, thereby battling inflation and being successful at competing against traditional farmers.
- Randy Phantom - A show about a redneck named Randy who steals expensive products from redneck warehouses and manages to get away with it. This show features randy marsh from South Park after he becomes a redneck after he and sharon divorce.
- The Uncle Ruckus Reality Show - You should know.
- My Life As a Redneck Robot - a show about a robot that works at the redneck ranch and doesn't deplete the food supply since he harvests it for humans rather than eats it himself.
- Doug - a show about a redneck name Doug Funny who eats at his favorite restaurant, the Honkie Burger. His favorite country band The Sugar Beets, has concerts in his town often.
- Invader JIM - a show about a wannabe redneck nigger (i.e. whigger) who invades da hood and exterminates the niggaz when his KKKlan of rednecks dress up as white diamond head ghosts and they sing the Doom song since they play Doom to practice their shooting. How they were able to afford Doom (or a computer in the first place) is not answered.
- Joey 101 - A show about a 25 year old redneck guy who thinks he can be more gangsta by blending in with teen rednecks. He was caught in an illegal sex act with a minor when it was discovered that Joey was a hermaphrodite who had the ability to become pregnant (i.e. a male with breeding ability). As a result, he had to sell all his farm tractors to more responsible rednecks.
These movies are targeted by rednecks and distributed by Hickamount Pictures.
- Harry the Spy - A spy named Harry who watches many black and white detective movies from the 1940s. Harry tries to get even with the negro drug dealers of the ghetto of Detroit by spying on them with binoculars and wiretapping telephones. He steals hoards of cash from the armed and dangerous nigs and steals their weapons. He then takes the money and weapons back to his birthplace and childhood home of Kentucky. There, he helps some poor redneck farmers, who have fallen on hard times, set up good old-fashioned moonshine stills and meth labs.
- Bad Burger - A stupid nigger named Ed ruins the reputation of a restaurant called Good Burger to cause rednecks to take over with a supersized building to brainwash customers by taking advantage of their lack of confidence and this lack of confidence is blamed on Ed. So dangerous thugs come to good burger and eventually sabotage the racist rednecks for malicious business.
- Honkbats Go Wild! - The stupid rednecks from Wild Wild Hornberries recruit the honkbats to join their Redneck clan to exterminate rabid raccoons more effectively.
- HonkBob CrackPants Movie - a movie spinoff from the redneck series HonkBob CrackPants.
- The Spiderhonk Chronicles - 2 hillbillies search for a hidden legend, but turns out that the niggers are attacking them.
- Macho Lee Bray - a redneck macho man who comes to a blue collar, redneck wrestling tournament with Larry the Cable Guy, Jeff Foxworthy and other redneck celebrities.
Hick Jr. shows
Not your everyday children's redneck shows!!!
- Dora the Exploiter - a show about a blond prostitute named Dora who slips sleep-inducing drugs into her black clients' drinks then steals their wallets. Dora also takes in black teenage runaways so she can sell them to an abusive pimp.
- Booze Clues - A redneck guy looking for clues, finds them real easy when he starts drinking booze! But when he gets to the bottom of his moonshine jar, he can't remember where his asscheeks are!
- The Hackyardigans - A bunch of guys with hacksaws jury rig outdated gadgets to do alternate functions.
- Hella Hella Island - A hell-like paradise for dangerous rednecks to play cat and mouse on.
- Little Fair - A show about rednecks who showcase their superlatives at the state fair.
- TEENhick - A program block with more mature redneck shit.
- SHICK - A program block where rednecks shave their pubes on Saturday and use it as fake facial hair to look older.
- Hicks at Night - More mature redneck programs.
- Hicktoons Network - A channel where reruns of old Hicktoons are in effect.
- KKKartoon Networkkk - A channel with the past time KKKartoons for hicks only.
- Adult Hicks - Adults watching hickie animation at night about having fat whilte sex.
Other Hickelodeon services
- The Rig Help - a program where volunteers try to help redneck truckers load their trucks faster and help cut the price of good to haul.
- The Green Rig Help - a greener version of The Rig Help where researchers need money to develop greener big rigs that will output less carbon footprint and increased industrial and commercial throughput.
- Hickelodeon Magazine - a pornographic magazine with redneck porn stars and ads for redneck farm vehicles, along with other premium redneck products.
- Niggerlodeon - the all black alternative to Nickelodeon.
- The Color Problem
- Nickelodeon - the number one channel for kids.
- Sexelodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a homosexual audience.
- Yahkelodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a Chinese audience and a Hong Kong audience, but not a Taiwanese audience.. 1.5 billion are served.
- Nikorodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a Japanese audience.
- Latinolodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a Hispanic audience.
- Spickelodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a Puerto Rican audience.
- Afrolodeon - Nickerlodeon feed to Africa, more popular than Oprah when she came to build a "free" girls school in South Africa.
- Reichiloden - Nikeloden targeted to a Nazi audience.
- Arabilodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a Middle Eastern audience.
- Chakkelodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a Jewish audience.
- Blondelodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a Blonde girl audience.
- Bitchelodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a victim audience.
- Mercilodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a French audience.
- Britalodeon - Nick's British "feed", but 8 hours behind and airs when the kids are in bed.
- Hindelodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a Hindi audience (including other Indian audience that works at 7-Eleven).
- Canadelodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a Canadian audience, eh? It's aboot the audience!
- Asialodeon - Nickelodeon feed for Asia.
- Menalodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a male man audience.
- Babylodeon - Nickelodeon targeted for baby boomers.
- Rainalodeon - Nickelodeon feed which airs when rain comes.
- Sunnylodeon - Nickelodeon feed which airs when it is sunny.
- Tornadodeon - Nickelodeon feed which airs when a tornado is seen.
- Thunderlodeon - Nickelodeon feed seen when thunder occurs.
- Hailalodeon - Nickelodeon feed seen when hail falls.
- Hurricanalodeon - Nickelodeon feed which airs when an expected hurricane is in effect.
- Mucuslodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to a mucus audience.
- Flualodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to people who have cold and flu viruses, even H1N1.
- Vaccinelodeon - Nickelodeon targeted to people who soon get a vaccine shot.