High School Musical 2
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|High School Musical 2|
|Directed by||Steven Sheila|
|Produced by||Kenny "Two-Face" Ortega|
|Written by||Peter Griffin|
Samuel L. Jackson
Leon S. Kennedy
Sonic the Hedgehog
Grunthos the Flatulent
The Chuckle Brothers
Greased up Deaf Guy
“I've ejaculated things with more substance than this!”
“What time is it? Time to run out the cinema before I, too, am struck down with this horrendous burden!”
“Zac Efron is totally a transvestite. Am I the only one who's picked up on this?”
High School Musical 2 is a crime drama centering around a group of drug dealers trying to make a living with their time out of prison. Troy Bolton, the leader, is planning to sell the head of the prison drugs, and in return, he lets them go for good. It's all a surprise for the jail and the boss, as they do the deals with Sharpay's brother, Ryan. He's a crime lord who sells drugs and small arms, but he's not so willing to give up his goodies, for he and Sharpay are undercover cops keeping an eye on them.
The film was directed by Kenny "Two-Face" Ortega, in his last attempt to redeem himself to Satan. The film was shot in Corbin Bleu's backyard and cost a mere $4 to make.
An interesting (really?) bit of trivia: High School Musical 2 was voted by every heterosexual male in the universe as the biggest waste of time and money since the inflatable dartboard. However it was voted by 98% of female watchers as one of the greatest contemporary works of cinema since Barbie and the Nutcracker, Gigli and The Wizard of Oz. It is also Emo Hitler's favourite film ever ever ever (but if you repeat this, he'll haunt you with his deadly fringe and constant whine, so SSSSHH!).
Plot (or Lack Thereof)
Troy Bolton is planning to bribe the boss of the prison to let them out with drugs and money, but Sharpay and Ryan are secretly keeping an eye on them... There is a large shootout and only Troy and Ryan survive, so they go on a mission to kill everyone who put them in this fucking film! In other words, it is like being on meat spin for 2 hours straight.
After watching High School Musical 2, many biohazard and chemical scientists have discovered the following symptoms for movie-goers.
- Drama Overdose (the victim has the constant urge to make dramatic entrances and other things like that)
- Eardrum Breaking (this is where your eardrum refuses to work, because of too low wages, for listening to such bad music.)
- Shock (many people expected this movie to be great, many were disappointed)
- Off-Key Singing (Victim has the urge to sing all the songs in the exact same key of the songs in HSM2, unfortunately it is off-key, very contagious.)
- Depression (This may lead to suicide or to joining the American rebel association.
- Wallets fizzing out of existence (only for Disney CEO)
- Death (Or maybe you'll get a cookie)
- Hallucinating that there is a person named "Chuckie" dancing in the background.
However there are also gender specific health risks:
- Male: It may cause severe bouts of stomach cramps, impotence, retardation, irregular periods or the incessant need to commit suicide and destroy every single member of Walt Disney who had any part in making this film.
- Female: No current symptoms have been reported, however there have been claims of petrification. These are as yet unsubstantiated as the victims cannot speak for themselves.
- Troy Bolton - A man in his mid-thirties who is a criminal mastermind. Likes to torture yorkshire terriers and jerk off to men. Played by Zac Efron, who is only fucking Vanessa Anne Hudgens to cover up his extreme gayness, and has a total of four facial expressions.
- Gabriella Montez - The wife of Troy and the twin sister of Misty, also an assassin who protects the drugs from Sharpay and Ryan. She is killed when George H. W. Bush personally shoots her. Thank God. The shooting was real; RIP Vanessa Anne Hudgens...or don't...we don't really care.
- Sharpay Evans - An undercover cop who keeps an eye on Troy twenty-four seven. To keep herself undercover, she fakes a relationship with Troy, which absolutely nobody believes. If you do, raise your hand...oh yeah, you at the back...GET THE FUCK OUT!!
- Ryan Evans - The gay partner and brother of Sharpay. Drinks a lot, and I mean a lot. Ryan appears to have a deeply disturbing hat fetish, but really he just uses the various hats to smuggle the drugs.
- Chad Danforth - Troy Bolton's bitch. Frequently breaks out into dance and song in a bid for his freedom from white slave drivers. He is also the token black guy, in a bid made by Disney to prove that they are not entirely racist.
- Kyle "Patch"-"Nipples and Pussy" Giray - An alias of "Kokey" the hit Filipino TV alien, also a professional extortionist, also the secret alias of the genetically engineered Paris Hilton, has many associates from the mafia and tries to win Troy's heart with powerful sperm. Extremely annoying and radioactive, when encountered never EVER try to intimidate or capture because you WILL get your genitals cut off. Rumored to be the head of the rumor rumoring below (see below). Can be seen in almost every scene and posts subliminal messages behind the movie.Is also a bigass bird, loves to fuck and suck cocaine.
The Making of the Movie
During the construction of the movie 52 actors have been critically injured or died, however each one placed a lawsuit on Disney and succeeded. Each Actor had to be replaced except for Akmah who was a terrorist trying to destroy The High School. The most expensive part was the sound filters.
The United States Military has discovered horrific information regarding the origin of HSM2. The publishing of the movie was actually a preliminary alien invasion trying to deafen people so they couldn't hear about the 4D HSM3 and 4. Therefore each movie would catch them by surprise and kill them. This was confirmed when a video tape of Aliens mind-controlling Walt Disney showed up in the Pentagon. Walt Disney has sided with the aliens due to them offering to return him to the looks of his former days, and also offering him a plan to destroy all of the Jews
The military has just issued an order to destroy the Moon, which is a key propaganda tower for the aliens, as is Disneyland.
Morals Projected in the Film
All students live a happy and carefree life whether they are preps or geeks, have absolutely perfect hair every day and own never-walked-into-a-dentist smiles. Despite constant denials, they can also dance and have near-perfect pitch.
High School Musical (shared with Brokeback Mountain)
|Gayest Movie Known to Mankind
High School Musical 3